Is soon to be ex going against the court order and what can I do?

[Stephen]

Hello.. I am new to this board and only wish that I would have found this site a long time ago.

I live in Virginia

My ex had an affair in November of 2004.  Our son was 1.5 years old at the time.  I tried to reconcile the marriage.

By the summer of 2005 she was saying that she thought a seperation might help.  Since her parents lived 400 miles away I (stupidly) agreed to move in with my parents who were five minutes away.  

I didn't know it at the time but she had already started another relationship with an old high school sweet heart from when she had lived in Illinois growing up.  That is 800 miles from me.

As soon as I found out I started working to insure that I had a 50/50 physical custody agreement.  First I tired mediation and would have been successful but the ex refused the clause about not moving out of state.  

Since her new boyfriend was from so far away I felt like this was very important.

During the summer of 2005 and winter/spring of 2006 my ex took numberous trips to see her boyfriend in Illinois.  I would have my son for a week at at time with no contact from the ex... and often she would be late to come back and pick him up.

In September of 2006 her boyfriend moved from Illinois back into this area.  By this time I had filed for custody but at the temporary custody hearing the judge gave her primary physical care and I was only allowed every other weekend and every wednesday night over night.  

In April of 2007 my ex told me that she was planning on moving to Illinois with her boyfriend because he was unhappy hear in the area.

Of course at our custody hearing in June I fought this move and did win on that point.  My ex is not allowed to move further then 50 miles away from the area, and even that has to be in the best interest of the child.  I did loose more time.  I now only have every other weekend from Thursday night till Monday morning.  I went from 10 days a month down to 8.

I did appeal...

However that is not the point of this post... Her boyfrined moved back to Illinois and my ex is bent on following him.  During the 10 days that I do not have my son (Monday - the following Wednesday) she travels to Illinois and then comes back into the state for my four days of visitation.  

Over July 4th I was suppose to have my son and also have him July 5th through July 8th as was my normal scheduled visitation.  

She did not return on the fourth nor on the 5th... but has told me she will make this up to me.  I still went ahead and had my lawyer file a "show cause" to indicate that she is not following the court order.

After dropping my son off again on Monday July 9th she left again.  This time I could not get ahold of her, nor did she answer the phone for two days (I try to call my son every night).

I am wondering what more can be done... a 14 hour car drive for a four year old boy who is confinded to a car seat is not what I would consider a good time.  Especially when it is so frequent...

Is there something else that I can be doing besides filing a "show cause" every time she is late in brining him back.  

I am starting to notice a change in my son's demenure and I am sure the unstability is affecting him.

Any help would be appreciated...

Thanks,
Stephen

[4honor]

shouldn't be held in contempt or the existing parenting/custody oreder, because against the judge's order she did move more than 50 miles away? Didn't he?

How long has this been going on? You may lose for letting this go on so long without doing something about it.

Your attorney should have been doing an ex parte to bring the mother and child back to the area immediately, as the distance was detrimental to a child so young.


I am NOT a lawyer. I am just somebody who made lots of mistakes and found answers AFTER the fact.