Pro Se Father needing Help......

[landkw]

This is going to be a long story so I will apologize right at the start.

I was 21 years old living next door to, what I thought at the time, to be a pretty hot 30 year old. After getting to know her a little, I learned she was a 5th grade school teacher who LIKED to party. I would be invited to "parties" at her house and we would drink together and even occasionally indulged in some illegal drugs, of which she purchased and had me drive her to purchase even though I had a suspended license for a DUI. After a few weeks of this, she mentioned to me that she would like to have kids (she had never been married, no children) and that she thought I would be a good "candidate" because I "had a nice build and seemed to have good genes." A couple of days later, both of us severely inebriated, we fell into bed together without protection. Exactly two weeks later, she knocked on my door to tell me she was pregnant and that I could just walk away and that would be fine with her. I, in fact, moved in with her for two weeks to "try to make things right" but found I had no feelings for this woman and she was doing everything she could to make things difficult for me, including standing on her couch, pulling her hair and screaming for me to leave her alone to raise the baby by herself. I did move back to my apt. after 2 weeks and at that point she ceased all communication with me. One night she knocked on the door with a paper that she had written up asking me to give up my parental rights because I was not in a financial position to help them. I signed it, what did I know???? She later became very friendly with my mother until my mother could not "promise" her that she would never let me see my child or have contact, at that point, she sent a certified letter to my mother ceasing all contact. I had moved away from her but still came to her house a couple of times and knocked on the door. She would not answer. I called a couple of times, she would not answer.
Fast forward to...my child has been born and is 6 months old. I figure enough time has passed and she may be more reasonable now and I want to show her that I am ready, willing and able to be a part of my SON's life!! I knock on her door, she refuses to answer. I call from a number she does not know, she answers and tells me that I better stay away from HER son, I tell her I'm willing to go to court, she DARES me to fight her and hangs up.
I petition for standard visitation, she counters that I am not the father, I pay for paternity test, I am of course the father, I petition for immediate visitation, she counters for child support, I am granted 4 supervised visits and then am supposed to get Standard Guidelines (she never gives me that, only every other weekend), I try to give her some money, she gives it back saying "we will let the court decide how much you will pay me", we go to mediation, I agree to pay child support, back child support and half of any previous medical bills. I was only asking for shared parental responsibility and the standard visitation guidelines. She did not agree to any of that stating that the only thing she wanted me to have was every other weekend visitation.I, unfortunately, had an attorney who did not have much experience and did not do a lot of leg work (I was depositioned, she was not). When we went to court, the mother said out loud that she "feared for her son's life because I was a convicted felon." My attorney said absolutely NOTHING to dispute or object, even though I was "convicted" of this felony when I was 13 years old. The mother said out loud that I was a drug addict, my attorney said absolutely NOTHING to dispute or object, even though I had not touched ANY drugs in over a year. The judge asked both attorneys to write up a final judgment and have it on his desk by 5pm the following Monday and he would decide which one to go with. (????) My attorney emailed a copy of what she sent to the judge the day AFTER it was due (so I don't really know if it got to the judge in time) along with a letter stating she would no longer represent me once final judgment had been made and to seek other legal counsel, with no explanation. When I called to inquire, I received no return calls. One week after my court date, I received the final judgment (which was NOT the one my attorney had emailed me) which stated that it would be detrimental to my son to have any other contact with me other than every other weekend (no holidays, summer, father's day, etc) due the fact that I was a convicted felon and drug abuser and that I would also not have any shared parental responsibility but would in fact pay the child support I had been paying, pay back child support as agreed in mediation, pay half of all past medical bills for the child and in addition, I would pay half of the mother's mediation fees, all of which I have done.
So my question is....where do I go from here? I filed a Motion for Rehearing but it still has not been assigned a court date, largely due to me not having an attorney to push for one, I cannot afford another attorney at this time and through several "consultations" I cannot get an attorney to find a "substantial change in circumstances" to modify the final judgment.
Since the final judgment, 9/06, the mother does not speak to me when I pick up my son or drop him off (so I never know if he's been sick or if she's started potty training, etc), she has my son call her fiance Daddy, my son is crying before the mother's door is even opened up when I pick him up, etc.
Again, where do I go from here?