Law guardian

[motomax]

My exwife and I commensed divorce action April 22, 03. I left the marital home, she was awarded custody of our two children, then shortly after, gave me custody of my son while she maintains my daughter. The divorce settlement has not yet been finalized, (at which point she will owe me a substantial amount of money from the marital equities), and despite the lack of these funds, and with some help from my mom,.. I have purchased a new home, enrolled my son in school, and have been getting along well. Everytime we come close to settleing the divorce, she brings up another issue. Most recently we were in court, very near settlement of the divorce, when she brought up the issue of my son, she has questioned my abilty to properly raise my son, and issues with the school. She now is fighting me for custody of my son, (which ironically holds up the divorce settlement). My lawyer has advised me to go through with her request, and allow the law guardian to do his thing. (sometimes I feel my lawyer is too submissive, and has allowed my wife to continually drag this case out). I have been a totally devoted father, I have backing from the school that my son has made improvements since my involvment.  I am confident I have done what I am supposed to do as a parent. I would like some pointers on how to better prepare myself for this. The court has appointed a law guardian, and will meet with us upon his request. Please give me some clues to support me through this. BTW,...my son wants to live with me. What can I do??????
Question; in the state of NY, can I go to family court by myself and finalize the divorce myself after one year?  4/22/04 will be one year.

[Peanutsdad]

It sounds as if you are already doing most things that you should....


Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.

[nosonew]

Read lots and lots on this site.

Also, your attorney only gets paid when YOU have an active case. Keep that in mind.  I think we paid for our attorneys oldest daughter to go to a 4 year college, no kidding.

Explain to your attorney he is NOT to agree or make ANY decisions regarding your case without first contacting you and giving you 48 hours to make a decision based on YOUR life.  This is very important, as you can clear your head, make lists of pro's and con's, etc.  Then make the best decision for YOU and YOUR family, not the attorney's pocketbook. (Have this put in writing and KEEP a copy!)

Your ex is going to want both kids for the $$$$ it means.  If your son wants to live with you, that is GREAT! And it is also in your favor! the GAL, (guardian ad lidem) will possibly speak with him, if he/she doesn't request to do so, you may want to request he/she speak with him if he is adamant he wants to live with you.  Also get any and all documentation you can from the school, this also works in your favor.  

Good luck, hang in there, and if ex talks to you, keep all emotion OUT of it! Only email NON emotional things, never be critical of her, just remember, "EVERYTHING I SAY, DO, OR WRITE< CAN BE BROUGHT INTO COURT".  

Remember that EVERY time you see or speak with her.  No matter what she does, how pissed she makes you, YOU keep your shit together!  I personally prefer the "little comment under the breathe" when I can't hold back any longer but don't want it caught on a hidden microphone, the little comment of "_itch" or "kiss my ___". May be childish, but makes me feel worlds better, and knowing it couldn't possibly be caught on a tape recorder at that decible level, but knowing SHE heard it, I love it.  Just keep it short, sweet, to the point and BARELY audible.  Good luck!