Need some input!!!!!

[fluffybunny]

Ok the hard part is over!!! My husband and I have physical custody of his handicapped child from his first marriage. He has had custody since they divorced. But him and his ex share legal custody. Anyways we filed for a modification of visitation,child support, and change jurisdiction since we moved almost a year ago to anentirely different state. We knew that would be granted where as bm moved from the other state immediately following their divorce. We got to the courthouse and bm didn't show up nor did an attorney for her come. The judge granted in our favor by default. Now on Tuesday we have to go to our attorney's office and draw up what we want and the judge said he'd sign it. So does anyone have any great clauses in their decrees that would be wise for us to put in? Here is what we are thinking so far( now remember he is a handicapped child)

1) Sole custody(physical & legal) awarded to dh
2) 1/2 of pediasure and medcine mixers
3) 1/2 of medical costs
4) 1/2 daycare
5) In state supervised visitation only
6) 1/2 education costs
7) 1/2 extra-curricular activities and uniforms(special olympics)

This is a brief summary. What do you think? Help me out here!!!

[oneandonly]

>Ok the hard part is over!!! My husband and I have physical
>custody of his handicapped child from his first marriage. He
>has had custody since they divorced. But him and his ex share
>legal custody. Anyways we filed for a modification of
>visitation,child support, and change jurisdiction since we
>moved almost a year ago to anentirely different state. We knew
>that would be granted where as bm moved from the other state
>immediately following their divorce. We got to the courthouse
>and bm didn't show up nor did an attorney for her come. The
>judge granted in our favor by default. Now on Tuesday we have
>to go to our attorney's office and draw up what we want and
>the judge said he'd sign it. So does anyone have any great
>clauses in their decrees that would be wise for us to put in?
>Here is what we are thinking so far( now remember he is a
>handicapped child)
>
>1) Sole custody(physical & legal) awarded to dh
>2) 1/2 of pediasure and medcine mixers
*why limit the medicines or mention this at all? Most orders reflect 50/50 split on all uninsured medical---and I'd look up state laws regarding notifying other party, how to be sent, and time limit to pay
>3) 1/2 of medical costs
*Usually, one or other parent provides insurance and if other parent also provides insurance, one is primary, the other secondary. I'd request, if feasible, that she provide insurance if employed?*
>4) 1/2 daycare
>5) In state supervised visitation only
*I'd be a bit more specific on the who and where here....never know, she might choose someone not acceptable and if the order is vague like this....you couldnt really do anything about it. I'd also be specific on the where--like, can she take him out of county with a supervisor? some counties are REALLY big*
>6) 1/2 education costs
*What exactly do you mean here? Private school? Special ed things? and for how long, as per state guidelines? (high school? til 21? etc....)
>7) 1/2 extra-curricular activities and uniforms(special
>olympics)
*this might be a null issue if you have full custody and therefore, NCP makes no decisions regarding this and should not be made to pay.
>
>This is a brief summary. What do you think? Help me out
>here!!!

hope this helps--just adding my 2 cents

[fluffybunny]

The medication problem is because bm does not consider pediasure to be a medication whereas you can purchase it over the counter the same as the medicine mixers. We do have a written prescription from the doctor because it is a medical neccisity. We have 30 days to send her receipts upon incurring them and she then has 30 days to reimburse us. But as of yet in the past 3 years she has only paid 195.00.

For the insurance part the child in question has a pending social security case and will be receiving disibility medicaid. But medicaid doesn't always cover every procedure. So we would her to pay for 1/2 of out of pocket insurance costs and what his disibility medicaid won't cover until my dh can use his work insurance as a secondary.

You are right about being more clear about the supervised visitation. The last time she saw him a year ago for 4 hours my dh & I supervised at a Mcdonalds and then went to a NickelCade.

The education costs I am more worried about tutoring,training schools,ged....if for some reason he needs beyond high school. Nj might put in for her to pay 1/2 of college.

I understand about the extra curricular you are right it makes sense if we sign him up we should pay for it.