How long do we wait?

[The Ulrichs]

My son, Aaron, and his daughter, Brooklynn, live with my husband and I in Sammamish, WA. Aaron moved back home when he and his wife separated in March of 2003. Brooklynn was with us 4 or 5 days a week as the mother, Lin-Z, was not really capable of caring for Brooklynn. Lin-Z decided to go into the military and left town in August of 2003 and moved to Arizona with her father.

Lin-Z never made it into the military with the intention of getting an education and then moving back to Sammamish to be with her daughter. She failed her drug test and did not have the education necessary to enter the branches she was trying to get into. In March of 2004 Lin-Z decided not to move back to Sammamish. She hired a lawyer and is now trying to get custody of Brooklynn. We have a restraining order in place to keep Brooklynn in her current home and comfort zone because Lin-Z was talking about taking Brooklynn down to Arizona where she was living on the couch. There was a hearing in March to decide if the restraining order would stand or not. The judge was appalled that Lin-Z moved out of town and now wanted to uproot Brooklynn but in the end he said Brooklynn would go stay with Lin-Z for 6 weeks starting July 1, 2004 pending an investigation of both parents. We were shocked but didn't get too worried because we knew the investigation would show Lin-Z's situation.

However, there has been no investigation and we can't get our lawyer to move forward. He seems to think Lin-Z will default on several other things in the process and that we should not worry about stepping up the investigation. He is not returning our calls but sends us bills for things he is doing like sending the questionarre to Lin-Z and talking to her lawyer. We are feeling like we are waiting to hear if we have cancer.

Now this may be normal, but we feel like we should be an integral part of the process. How do we know if we are doing the right thing in waiting?

[KAT]

I'd go with my gut on this one. If you don't feel this lawyer is doing anything then by all means contact your states Bar Association & obtain a referral to a kick butt bull dog FATHER'S RIGHTS FAMILY LAW attorney. There will a small cost involved for the initial but it could be well worth it. I wish like heck we had done that after finding out our lawyer was wishy-washy & felt sad for poor biomom. What a putz. He also never returned calls. We didn't even find out what was on the GAL report until we showed up at the court house. Paid all that money for nothing, he did NOTHING.
In addition, if you have the money, hire a private investigator in her area to find out who is keeping the child, if she's working, where she's giong when she does have the child..you know the drill. I'd probably wait a week or two until the novelty of parenting has worn off. Get one for a day or two, if there is something up keep it going longer.
I'm not saying that your lawyer is necessarily wrong. She might not meet the stipulations and the investigation is probably costly...however, many judges feel sorry for Moms, and if you don't have a hard hitting attorney, the judges sympathy can cloud the obvious which in the end could lose you the case. (gotta make Mommy look bad, very bad).
What are the stipulations she has to meet?
Kindest regards;
KAT

[wendl]

Welcome,
lol I just drove past sammamish last night.


I just wanted to welcome you. I would give you some info about WA state but currently my dh's ex and her friends are stalking me here and tried to use in court that I was giving legal advise and a bunch of other BS.

(IN MY OPINION) document everything, read what you can on this site and many others will lead you in the right direction.

If you feel your attorney isn't working for you, you need to find yourself another one.

And I will tell you this, the other parents atty will bring up stuff from your past and twist it to discredit the dad or stepmom if one is in the picture

Keep us updated.