Tell other side about evaluation or not?

[littlebit]

Just a few brief details: Court date is in January to change custody from BM to me.  Custody evaluation was requested by GAL and approved by judge in August.  

I got the court order last week, only because I kept hounding my attorney.  It is possible that BM has not seen the order.  CO states that it is BM & BD responsibility to arrange appointments with the evaluator for themselves and child.  

I have met with evaluator once briefly, and have another appt scheduled.  BM has not done anything so far, so I am scrambling to arrange child's appointment ASAP.  

The only way to get child to the appt is to tell BM the date & time for her to take him, or I can not return him to her house at the scheduled time on one of our weekends.  Any thoughts or advice on that?

Myself and GAL were hoping to expose some of BM's major flaws with the evaluation.  

Would it be better or worse if BM just never goes to the eval?

If BM doesn't participate in eval, will that give them a reason to reschedule the court date again?

[backwardsbike]

Sorry, I don't really have any answers.  I just went through the second custody evaluation in four years.  We were sure that this evaluator would see right through the PBFH's lies and all the faults would be exposed.  No dice.  These people can be very manipulative.  I wish you the best of luck.  Document and take everything with you.  Although this didn't help my case I hope it will be different for you.

[onedaddy]

I would make the appointment, ask the evaluator and GAL to inform BM as well as yourself via certified mail or some other type of provable method.

It will not show favorably in court if BM does not show.  The evaluator will also come to a determination after evaluating you.

In our case BM had him on the first visit but it all went downhill for her from there.  We sent the evaluator a 14 page thorough chronology of all the events that have taken place with denials, false allegations, etc. and substantiated all the facts with our 100's of pages (literally) of documentation: tape recordings, police reports, transcripts, etc.  We summized all the he-said/she-said stuff for the last page as that carries little weight.  And BANG, report came back that BM is truely psychologically SCREWED UP. The children are doomed to the system (criminal courts, etc,) if they stay with her.  He had a few minor problems with DH which is actually great because he did not come across biased.  BM's lawyer hired an additional evaluator to try and discredit the report even though they asked for the evaluation and this particular evaluator, who by the way had worked in this county and with this judge and GAL for quite some time with NO complaints.  The judge ruled the evaluator can speak of what the report says but can absolutely not re-evaluate BM.

Good luck and remember everything he will do will be for a reason.  There were many sessions we left feeling defeated.

[Lawmoe]

If the BM does not appear for an appointment, it could play into the Court's decision regarding her oganizational skills. However, it is also likely to result in a continuantion of the haring. There is good and bad that flows with it.