Will it help?

[dipper]

Okay..

IN january, ss chose to stay with his mother when we went to court.  She had 20'ish and 30'ish friends staying with him and buying him goodies all the time.  No discipline, no homework.  He has it made.  The three friends - one was arrested for grand larceny, the other was fired for having a felony record, and the other was fired for dealing drugs on the job...all worked at bm's store.....

Since then, ss has gotten kicked out of regular school for fighting so much.  The judge did not back dh's assertion that ss needs counseling, and the teachers had felt he did - we do have a letter from a school official that documents bm refusing to consider counseling. Interestingly, it was after this that ss was banned from any regular school and has to go to a school that has counseling as part of its program.  Most children who attend there have been in jail.

SS is 13 - bm called the police one day because she didnt know where he was.  She went out of town to visit a boyfriend and ss began his new school...his uncle was to pick him up afterward - and ss disappeared again....She also had ss working and getting paid for it busing tables at the restaurant she works at.....

SS told us that his mom does not discipline him at all.  She will say he is grounded - cant go outside, and one hour later, she tells him to go ahead.  SS thinks its all a big joke.    SS told dh that he was accused of breaking into someone's house.  They evidently didnt call the police........However, would he?  Both dh and I know for a fact that ss would do it in a heartbeat......

He has brought cigarettes to our home - lied about where he got them and what he had them for.  He has brought goodies here and lied about where he got those - we never did find out the truth.  He has stolen many times in the past.

BM is not providing the rigid boundaries he needs, in our opinion.  Raising him is being left to the school system.  

BM has violated the court order several times in the past few months.

I will soon begin a job with the school system - at the middle school ss would attend if here, and with resource classes - which he is in.    I will be on the same schedule as the children, but I am not his mother.

Thing is - we can provide constant supervision.  I dont think ss will want to give up what he has.  OSS doesnt get anything at all from his bm because he chose not to live with her. He is 19 and she still tries to get him to move there and will not help him because he wont.  SS knows this would happen to him if he chose to live here.  Dh does for both..but she will only do for them if they are with her.....

Would there be any hope of getting custody reversed?