giving up parental rights?

[pipefitter]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]I live in southern IN.  I have a daughter and an ex-girlfriend that live in KY.  My daughter is now almost 5, and I pay $170 a week in support because her mother does not work, and lives with her parents.  When my daughter was born I saw her all the time, then my EX caught wind that I was seeing someone and decided I did not need to see my daughter anymore.  The courts have not been any help to me, it seems like they are really siding with her.[/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]To make a long story short, Paternity has never been established and the courts say that because I signed the birth certificate paternity doesn't need to be established.  I have done everything the courts have asked of me, and they refuse to act like I have any rights.  The mother refuses to let me see my daughter without her having to be there, and when I do try to see her she always has a reason why she can't be there, which makes things very awkward.  [/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]I have just recently gotten married, and now she wants me to sign a paper stating that if something happens to her, that I do not get custody, she wants me to give it to her mother, and continue paying support on a child I'm not even allowed to see.  I do not know what to do?  I have been reading allot on the laws, and it seems like no matter what I can't win.  Is there anyone out there that knows what I can do?[/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]Don't get me wrong, I love my little girl, her mother just refuses to let me know her, and the courts won't do anything for me. I do not see how I can be asked to give custody to her mother, and still be required to pay support?  [/HIGHLIGHT]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]Thank you to anyone who has any feedback for me![/HIGHLIGHT]

[MixedBag]

The courts won't do anything for you -- well, that's not totally true.

For CS, yes, the system comes after you.

For Parenting time, YOU have to initiate all action, the system won't do it for you.

YOU have to submit a "Motion" to the court requesting a particular parenting time arrangement that is DEFINED be ORDERED by the court.

Then the courts will hopefully "do something for you"

And BTW -- don't sign any papers like you're describing.

[janM]

Grandma has no inherent rights to your daughter. If anything happened to mom, you would be next in line as the legal parent. Grandma could TRY to get custody but she'd have to prove you unfit. It doesn't make sense for you to give custody to gma now, because mom would have to give up hers too.

Mom is bitter and jealous and trying to erase you from dd's life (but not your wallet). Don't let her win. You have rights but you have to ask the court for them. Get a consult with a family law attorney, most will do it for free or low cost. Once you have a parenting plan in place, mom has to abide by it or be held in contempt. You may want a graduated plan if daughter doesn't know you well.

[anpdaddy1013]

dude, i don't know. i'm in a similar situation. my ex girlfriend took our daughter from MI to TN and rarely complies with the latest court order that said she could move, provided she obey these rules. the court doesn't care. my kid is being elimnated from my life, i see her 3 times a YEAR. i used to see her all the fricking time. like you, my ex cant handle that i have a wife that isnt her. i'm trying to figure out the sigining over rights thing too. i got laid off not that long ago, then rehired. but my wife  and i have a bucket load of bills (mostly legal thanks to the ex) and cant afford to pay cs on a kid we dont get to see. oh, and when we do get to see her, mommy dearest has been spending the cs on herself and her other child that isnt mine.

[pipefitter]

I cannot believe she took your kid outta state like that and doesn't have to answer for it!  I think you have gotten our lives confused??? Our situation is identical!  She has taken me and my wife to the cleaners with her needs for more money, even put me in jail last time I got laid off.  My wife had to spend every thing we had to get me out so I could go back to work.  Now they are threatening jail again if I don't pay court costs that she caused?  I got 2days or back to the big house.  The messed up thing is I'm laid off again, right before Christmas and she already wants to no where her money is!  Somebody's gotta make her car payment!

The one thing I can't seem to figure out is why dad's who try have no rights unless they pay an attorney a ton of cash, and mom's like my Ex who still lives with her parents get all of it for free?

Isn't there anyone out there that can help?  How come there is not some sorta group for dad's who are tired of being taken to the cleaners?

I seriously feel for you, I know exactly what you are going through!  If you ever figure out the secret, maybe fill a dude in, HUH!