Can a parent legally tape their child?

[relivin]

I'm curious because my husband and I have been going to mediation for custody.  His ex has been slowly alienating his daughter from us.  We have letters & witnesses who have all heard she wants to live w/ us & the letters written by her stating she wants to live w/ us.

On the last day of mediation at DRC, his ex brings in a tape that she recorded w/ his daughter the night before.  She lied to her & told her the tape would only be heard by a judge & that dad would not hear it.  She asked specific guided questions about all the issues posed during mediation.  

Of course, his daugther told everything she thought her mother wanted to hear.  It was all the opposite...she doesn't want to live w/ us, etc...

We were sooo broadsided we walked out of mediation not getting custody, having to pay more child support, & we got even  less time w/ his daughter now than before.  

We have an appt w/ our attorney on Tues but we are flabberghasted & at a loss!!  Is this legal?  Can a parent really do that?  

[justwantstobeadad]

Have you ever used a camcorder before? Of course we as parents can record our children. What is sad is how this child is being put in the middle by the two parents! She should not be being asked all these questions and should be left out of the "negotiations"! This is going to cause so much stress and might even cause long term effects. I fully understand why you might think it looks good in your favor to have her write letters or get taped but in fact it does not "look to the courts" as if you have the "best interest in the child" but in fact for yourself! Also if this tape was put infront of a judge he might not even allow it in. Some judges might even look down on the parent who made it!

So I would first ask to get back into mediation and explain that you where very upset at the time but know that it is in our best interest to continue on trying to work things out. This will give the courts a better understanding on your feelings and show that you not just in it for yourself.  Did you sign a parenting agreement at mediation?
I am kinda confused has there already been an order?

Good Luck but for the childs sake let her just be a child and let te parents take care of "negotiations"!

[relivin]

I agree.  And on our part, we never asked her to write any letters...she was writing them on her free will & leaving them around the house to be found plus leaving them in my husband's box at work.  A couple of the letters were sent to family members.  We never & do not ever want to put his daughter in the middle!!  In fact, we never told his daughter nothing about court &/or mediation because we didn't want her to be distressed.  It was her mother who told her everything, in the name of what she calls, "truth".  We presented the letters during first initial mediation because we were hoping the mediator would see that his daughter is screaming from the roof tops.  We really only wanted to present them to the mediator & the mediator alone because we didn't want it to come back on his daughter but the mediator made him read them in front of the mother.  But, I assure you, it was after months of us getting these letters & the tears all the way home that we thought we would try to get custody.  We were thinking about his daughter first & foremost & thought we were doing what was neccessary to get custody.    But I think you are right...even though we had the best intentions they may not have been soo good.  

The mother took it upon herself to record the tape the night before mediation which was actually DRC & presented it on the last day of negotiations.  I have to tell ya, my husband & I were sooo absolutely flabberghasted we couldn't think straight at all!!!  We made irrational decisions because we just could not think after hearing that tape.  We were devestated!   If you knew the whole history, you would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that tape was coerced...no question about it.  We have not gotten the final write up from mediation so it has not been signed yet.  So, I guess there is no order, yet?  Do you think it is better to get back w/ the mediator rather than not signing & impassing?  That's why we are seeing his attorney Tues to find out if we have to sign them since we do not agree with them.  Tues is just an awful long ways off when you have soo many concerns & questions.  

[jopanate]

OK, first off, never, never, never let your emotions get the better of you!  That's what the ex is counting on.  You are trying to show how unstable BM is by walking out of mediation in a huff?!?!  That makes as much sense as having sex for the sake of virginity.  I know there are a lot of emotions involved, but imagine what BM's reaction would have been had you stayed there and said, "well, that's contrary to everything she has said of her own initiation" (or something along those lines).  Nothing helps to prove someone is irrational and unstable faster than not letting their games work!