Contempt question

[VaBeachStepmom]

Last August, my husband and his ex went to mediation to work out a visitation schedule more specific than "reasonable and liberal."  We were able to get a clause in there that states:

"Both parties agree not to smoke in the presence of their minor child or allow anyone else to do so because of the general danger associated with second-hand smoking."

BM is the only one involved that smokes.  On our last weekend, BM was smoking as she arrived to drop off my SD.  SD was in the back seat of the car at the time.  

While with my husband and me, SD saw people out front of a retail store on a smoke break (she's 6).  She went into asking why we don't smoke.  Then why does her mom smoke?  She said that her stepdad ALWAYS asks her mom to quit smoking, and that her mom always says she'll quit in 2 weeks.  That her mom goes out on the balcony after dinner to smoke, but she sometimes smokes in her bedroom.  But what SD said she hates most is when her mom smokes with her in the car cause the air from the windows blows the smoke on her.  (not direct quotes, but you get the idea.)

Obviously, BM is in contempt of the order.  I understand this is minor compared to abuse or unpaid support, but it is important to DH and me because it relates to SD's health.  We wouldn't have put it in the order if it wasn't important.  

Can we file a contempt charge on this?  What all would that entail?  We don't want to go to court on this item specifically, we just want it to be officially documented and recorded with the courts, for when/if we attempt to modify custody.  

Sorry this is so long.  Can anyone help me out with this?  

[ocean]

I would first write a nice letter stating only facts..."according to our custody order, paragraph.....it states.... On the last pick-up, you were observed smoking in car with daughter in back.  This is against the order and if it happens again, I will file contempt." I am sure if you post the letter, people on this board will help you take out any emotional parts of it :)  PS Send it certified mail.

[VaBeachStepmom]

That's a good idea.  Would you recommend including the part about the things my SD was saying about BM smoking in her bedroom or whenever they're in the car?

I wouldn't want DH or myself to be accused of prying info from SD.  Anyone with a 6 yr old knows they talk a mile a minute and don't show much disgression in what they're talking about.   But I know BM, and she would think we pryed.  But it's relavent info, all pertaining to contempt.  She's not allowed to smoke in the presence of my SD, no matter where she is.

[dipper]

 "But what SD said she hates most is when her mom smokes with her in the car cause the air from the windows blows the smoke on her. "

I have to say, that is probably why I never liked smoking...I remember being in the car with both parents puffing and hating it.  Hated it blowing back on me, and hated the winter when the windows were just cracked and it would linger in the air.

It is awful.  I dont blame you for having this clause.  My dad quit smoking years ago and he hated it after that....My mom just recently quit and I was so glad.  The kids love spending time with her - and they would smell like cigarettes.  People that smoke do not realize how bad it stinks..it absorbs onto everything...

Did you try the letter?  As ocean stated, do not complain or anything, just state that it is in contradiction to the court order....

[MYSONSDAD]

More and more statistics are coming to the forefront of this issue.

In Illinois, it is considered child abuse. Check your state on DCFS, or your state statues.

Go to the search engine at the top of Sparcs website, type in Ash. This will provide you with much information.

If the oprotunity arises, get a picture or use a camcorder of her arriving with the child and smoking with the child in the vehicle.


Good Luck!
"Children learn what they live"

[flewwellin]

i would think that if your SD has something like asthma it could be seen as neglect or abuse.  She also is def in contempt