Event of death

[drayray]

I am a non custodial parent. My ex and I are drawing up papers for a parenting plan in the State of WA. I would like to be named as the legal and physical custodian should she pass away or become incapable of parenting. She is fighting me on this and wants her now 18 year old to share joint custody.
I thought it would be automatic it would be turned over to me, but I need something factual so I can either put up or shut up.
Washington State is where this case takes place.

[ocean]

You should get custody, especially if you have joint legal custody but getting it in writing would be even better and quicker.

[Kitty C.]

Check your state laws and statutes......it's possible that it may overrule your ex.  Also, if you're only in the 'planning' stage with the parenting plan, anything she may 'want' could be totally negated in court.  Talk to your atty. and see what he/she thinks or knows what the laws determine.  You would think this would be a no-brainer, and it may very well be, considering she's asking that her adult child be named in joint custody.  Now, if she were married, that would make the situation even stickier.

If you do have to throw her a bone, try to include some court ordered visitation time between the half-siblings.  Legally, that's what they are to each other and I would hope that the court would want a child to be in the legal custody of a biological parent before an adult half-sibling.  And if the court has no problem with you having joint physical and/or legal NOW, then they cannot discount you as a primary custodian in the event that the other parent dies.

[Davy]

Do not cowl down to please the other parent.  Like Kitty advised ...the statue MAY override the 'wants' of the  other parent.

I did't locate statues specific to Washington state but I do know attorneys often give bad advice concerning this issue.

In most states, and  there are U.S. Supreme court rulings, that a bio parent has superior rights that far out weigh all others. Any other guardianship is gained only with the consent of a bio parent.


Like cases have arisen upon the death of a so-called ncp when grandparents desire visitation rights and can not prevail.

[gemini3]

I agree with Kitty.  It sounds like she may be worried that her children will lose their relationship with each other if something happens to her.  If you can make a provision to show her that is not the case she may concede.

If you have joint custody then you would automatically get custody if she was to pass away, unless you have signed a provision stating otherwise.  If she has sole custody then you will have to petition the court for custody, unless she has signed a provision making you the legal guardian in the event of her death.