involuntary move-off job relocation & Custody

[jbradfield]

"Involontary job relocation - Child Custody"


              

I am under a serious time frame to take the job offer or find new employment and want to maintain primary custody of my kids

what are my chances what do i do?

Situation:

The company I have been employed with for the past five years has moved my department to Charlottesville, Virginia. After taking an all expensed paid trip there, I have decided that I would like to accept the transfer and move my family there. I have to be able to start my job by November 1, 2005.

My ex-wife, Monique, does not want me moving our three boys away and will not come to any form of agreement as to what we can do together. I am currently listed as the primary custodial parent and feel that with the stable family environment I have given them, this would be beneficial for their emotional, educational and financial well being.

I would like to get this resolved in mediation or if necessary by a judge to come to some sort of visitation agreement. I have told Monique that whenever the kids are not in school she can have them over to visit, including Winter Break, Spring Break and during the summer. I am also not asking her for child support.

Current Issues with Mother:

∑ I have witnessed fighting between Monique and her live-in boyfriend in front of the children on more than a few occasions as I am dropping off the kids.

∑ Monique has admitted to me that her boyfriend partakes in illegal drugs.

∑ Police have been called to their home due to his anger issues and almost starting a fight with the next door neighbor. He was almost taken to jail until my fiancée and I intervened and convinced the officer he would go back inside his house.

∑ Monique called us for money a month ago because they could not pay their rent.

∑ Currently Monique does not have a job, and her boyfriend also cannot prove he has had a steady income for the past six months.

∑ She called a few weeks ago stating that she wanted to get a job and expected me to pay for all the daycare expenses, once I told her that I cannot afford more money in daycare she stated that the kids don't have to be in daycare, that they could stay with her mother, the boys grandmother.

∑ Monique feels that she can adequately care for her boys, and have her mother baby sit while she works. I disagree due to the fact that they wouldn't have a structured environment. It wasn't until a year ago I decided to put our oldest son in school so he would have some adequate social skills before starting Kindergarten. She was against it and stated he didn't need to go to school yet.

∑ Monique does not have a car that can fit our three boys and her newest son, and this worries me in case she is home by herself and cannot get to a doctor's office or a hospital.

∑ Monique relies heavily on her mother's support (whom lives two houses away) however, her mother's home has been on the market and during my conversations with both Monique and her mother, they are selling their house and moving to San Diego or across the country. My concern is what happens to kids when Monique is working and there is no one to watch the kids?

∑ The kids come home restless and tired from not having an adequate nap schedule or routine.

∑ Justus has come home on a couple occasions stating that Matt (Monique's boyfriend) has moved out. And that he no longer lives there. This concerns me a great deal about their environment stability.

Reasons I feel I can provide for my children:

∑ I have had a stable income for the past five years. My fiancée has had a stable income for the past three years.

∑ We currently own our house and upon moving to Virginia would take out our equity and purchase another house out there.

∑ The kids regularly attend church with us on Sundays they are home. We can provide attendance records and I feel that church has helped them to overcome a lot of their emotional issues brought upon them from the stress of both parents living in different homes.

∑ We are able to provide financially for everything the kids need. Justus (our oldest son) was able to play soccer last season, and Jaden (our middle son) has an opportunity to play this season. Though they may not like it, they at least have had the opportunity to try and I feel this adds to building their self esteem and confidence levels.

∑ Justus has excelled very well in Pre-School, I feel without this form of education and structure he may not have gotten the social maturity he would have needed for Kindergarten.


∑ We have a routine schedule at home that the kids are accustomed to.

∑ In Virginia the kids would have the opportunity for a better education because we could afford to put them in private schools.

∑ During our separation, the kids lived with me 100% of the time, while Monique would come for visits. The children are used to me being their primary caretaker; I feel to give that away to Monique would create more emotional instability in our children. They are not used to living away from as they never have lived outside of my home. Not once since our divorce have the kids ever lived with Monique.