Changing Custody of Teenager

[Methos]

My son, 16 1/2,  wants to come live with me.  His mom wants him to come live with me.  Mom is tired of him and his attitude.  Son lives in Florida, I live in Oregon.

I sent mom change of custody paperwork.  Mom decides she doesn't want to lose all her rights to son.  I sent information on what Joint Custody is.  Mom thinks that we basically have joint custody now and we should make no legal custody changes, but we can legally stop child support (we have another son so it would be a wash) for the time being.  We do not have joint custody. She has sole custody.

At first I was ok with this idea of joint custody or no legal custody change.  The more I thought about it, I wondered what am I not seeing other than Mom being a control freak and at some point telling me to send him home.  

What mistakes will I be making if I go joint custody or no legal custody change?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[CustodyIQ]

If legal terminology is so important to you, then just go ahead and make the change with no paperwork right now.

If at some point mom says to send him home, you can deal with that fight at that time (i.e., you'd file for a change of custody, given that she sent him to you on the grounds that she felt you would be the better parent at this time, and he's thriving in your care).

Otherwise, 6 to 12 months later, file for a change of custody based upon de facto (i.e., actual) arrangements that the child has been in your care for the prior 6 to 12 months.

If she's willing to immediately stipulate to a new court order amending the child support, that would important for you.  You don't want her to ever file for contempt, saying you hadn't been paying your court-ordered child support.

So long as there's an existing child support order, you're on the hook for it, and you can't go back in time and get it removed.

The approach I outline 1) gives you immediate physical custody (regardless of court orders) of your son; and 2) puts you in an excellent position to get court orders for physical custody 6 to 12 months later with Oregon as the jurisdiction (i.e., she'll have to come to the son's state of residence, if she wants to fight you on it).

[ocean]

I agree....Get your son to your house first then you deal with it later. Maybe she would sign a letter stating you had physical custody as of 1/XX/06. Tell her you need it to get him into school by you (which you may need anyway...). If she files to stop Child support..you could counter with a custody amendment...Good luck!