custody evaluations

[stay@homedad]

My now x wife was caught cheating last January. I checked her into the psyche ward and she has never came back home. I filed for divorce & was granted a no fault on 11/15/05 delayed due to hurricane. At the hearing; her lawyer files an appeal for custody. Which I was given domicilary status in 05/05; the court then orders Psyche evaluations. my attorney stated that this is best for us; since she obviously has more to disprove or prove than myself. I have been on disability for 10.5 years & the stay at home dad for the whole time. She cheats, has a nervous breakdown & seems to get away with just about anything within the LA judicial system. What is this evaluation all about if I have already logged over one full year as a parent by myself. My boys are 11/13 years old & have stated they do not wish to live with her. They almost have to be drug over there for visitation much less an extended stay. She has caused much grief; My 13 year old is now on an anti-depressant. Her whole family is in counseling &medication-Father, Motther, brother & sister.
Should I be freaking out? Or is this just another avenue for her attorney to make more$$? She had to have her wages garnished before she paid court ordered child support. 191 out of 255 she had no contact with the boys & she lives 6 blocks away. Can someone put this into perpective for me please?
I have phone logs, e mails and in company instant messaging of her affair but she denied it. Accused me of spousal abuse- motion denied.... her accusations continue- filing false police reports againgst me- no charges have been filed in a month and 1/2. Should I bring all of this documentation with me to the evaluation?

[Brent]

You should be in good shape, but DO NOT let your guard down. Read everything here about custody evaluations and understand what it's all about. Here are some pages to get you started:

A Guide To The Parenting Evaluation Process
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.php

Evaluation FAQ - 2. What is a Parenting or Custody evaluation?
http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/eval_ans2.php

Child Custody Evaluation Practices
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/practice.php

What To Ask For In A Parenting Evaluation
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/evallist.php

Working With Evaluators And Psychologists
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/working.php

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

I agree with your attorney that the burden is on the mother to prove why the children are in such peril now as to change custody.

This isn't a "blank slate" custody evaluation where simply the better home will win.

Generally, a custody evaluation done post-separation a long while after one parent has been the primary caretaker will be done in the vein of, "Are there any significant concerns about the current home and status quo that justifies disrupting the children's lives to a whole different arrangement?"

At the same time, do keep up the documentation and it'd be worth mentioning to the custody evaluator (perhaps via letter from your attorney) that it is available for the evaluator to review if desired.

Your best attitude would be something like, "I'm really not sure why the mother chooses to be largely uninvolved with the children.  I think it's a shame, but I'm very concerned that if she can't make time for them with this arrangement, she surely won't have time for them if her physical custody time increases.  I'm pretty confused why she's going for custody if she already neglects her parenting responsibilities.  She's always been welcomed to spend time with them."

And for any specific concerns, always tie it to the impact on the kids.

Not simply, "She's a psycho."

But rather, "I'm very concerned that her volatility swings mixed with bouts of depression are extremely difficult for our boys to endure for long periods of time."

[stay@homedad]

Thanks for your input &  vote of confidence. This forum along with  La-Legal has proven to be invaluable for me as I am financing my battle. Whereas she has her parents money- not to say I blame her; it is just that I will not ask my parents for money until I just am backed into a financial hole.
I have stood on my own since I was 17 and the Lord wiling? I will continue to do so. I spoke with both Family counselors & our family practitioner today and school counselors. They all agreed to be put on my collateral list to be contacted about myself and the rest of the family. I also have 3-4 memebers of our church that have agreed along with numerous neighbors & the boys friend's parents. And to quote...Romans 8:31 says "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?" Amen ;')