custody change and child support

[nikilax]

SD moved in with us in September of 09.  DH went through a lawyer and had official custody papers drawn up and filed in our state (MA).  DH has custody of SD16 and BM has custody of SS17.  There's a court order for CS on SS17.

BM moved to TX at the end of January 2010.  We flew SD out there in April '10 and SS here.  BM didn't have the money to fly them in the summer or SD at Christmas, so SD went almost a year without seeing her mother.  Two weeks ago, SD decided that she wants to move back in with BM.

SD's leaving this Sunday.  BM already bought the ticket.  DH knows SD's not going to change her mind, so he's letting her go without a fight.  We have an 18mo in the house to think about too.

Aside from the fact that SD won't have been in TX for six months, can MA hold jurisdiction as long as DH stays in MA???  Would BM have to file any/all paperwork here in our state? 

There is currently a child support order for SS through MA.  BM would have to officially file for and get change of custody in order to add SD to this correct? 

It was an agreed order based on a few factors and DH wanted to get it done without a huge amount of fuss.  DH doesn't plan on sending any CS for SD until custody has been officially changed and a new order established.  He's spent years taking BM's word on what she makes (~10K/year for the last 10 years) and now wants her official information before agreeing to anything.

Any input on the best course of action (or inaction) would be great!

Thanks,

[ocean]

Either you can file in MA or wait until BM files. BM will probably try and file by her and you will have to fight that (and prob win...since father has not moved from state).

When will SS be 18? Is child support until 18 or 21 in MA?

Part of me says, wait it out, and SS will be emancipated... part of me says you file first in MA and make mom come to you to change custody and child support.

Did he discuss anything with her about child support? Do not send anything in writing or with a notary signature....wait for court unless you totally agree. Since SD has not really seen mom, this may be temporary...a few months at mom's may have her coming running back to you.

[nikilax]

I think DH is of the opinion of waiting for her to file figuring she would hire a lawyer in order to do it.  We just got all of the paperwork settled in June '10 and it cost us more than we're willing to spend to change it again.

SS will be 18 in November, but CS is until 19 or graduates from HS.  He should be graduating in May 2012, so it's only another year.

DH hasn't discussed any CS numbers.  (Currently, 110/wk is the order for SS with DH having custody of SD.) He only expressed that he wouldn't go by what she tells him.  It's either the last 6 paystubs or a note/letter from her employer for verification.

SD lived with BM for the first 14 years of her life, so she pretty much knows what she's getting in to unless BM convinced her that she's changed things.  She's been told that unless circumstances are dire, she will not be coming back to live at our house.  We put way too much time in effort into the whole process and bringing her down to let her just jump back and forth between households.  She'll have to stick it out for the last two years of highschool.