Multiple Personalities

[desperado]

My estranged wife suffers from DID but denies that she has it.  Will a forensic psychiatric exam in a custody evaluation uncover her disorder or will she be able to mask it?

How can I best make my case and show her dysfunctions?

Desperado

[John-J-Jay]

you can ask the court for a court order psycho evaluation. The court should grant it.

[4honor]

you ask for psychological exams on both of you... so that it appears less like a power move and more like a concern for your child(ren).  ANd never call it "psycho" in front of the judge.

[mistoffolees]

Is there a medical history? That is, has she been diagnosed and treated for the disorder?

If so, you can request a custody evaluation of both parents and the custody evaluator can 'request' that she sign a waiver for release of her records.

If there's no medical diagnosis, relying on your own opinion about her condition probably won't get you anywhere unless you're a licensed psychologist. It may or may not turn up in a custody evaluation - depending on how severe the condition is.

[desperado]

She has not been diagnosed or treated for DID yet.  She resists treatment.   However, I have an extensive review of her behavior that includes diary and journal entries wherein she "talks to herself" in different personalities and oddly her handwriting changes from right to left hand and masculine to feminine.  Two of our marriage counselors have noted that a DID diagnosis would account for her strange behavior.  She exhibits all of the classic symptoms, most notably time loss and speaking in different voices.  Because of her sexual abuse, most of her splitting happens in the bedroom where she exhibits her strongest alters.

Desperado

[mistoffolees]

Sounds like you're going to have a hard time proving it. If there's no formal diagnosis ('a DID diagnosis would account for...') doesn't constitute a formal diagnosis, you're going to have to convince the court to insist on a psychiatric evaluation. THEN, you have to hope that she shows the symptoms during her evaluation. If the symptoms occur less frequently outside the bedroom, it's quite possible that she'd never switch in front of the evaluator.

As I see it, you have two chances:
1. The writing MIGHT help, but she could always argue that one set of handwriting isn't hers. Can you PROVE that it is? Even so, I don't recall any specific law that says that you can't change your handwriting at times or write with different hands. Nor are you going to find it easy to prove that she's a bad parent because she sometimes writes with the 'wrong' hand.  My guess is that this is a dead end.

2. A possibly more promising method would be to use what you have to ask for a custody evaluation (forget the psychiatric exam). Custody evaluators have considerably more leeway and can talk with people like your two marriage counselors. Furthermore, a custody evaluator can choose to change custody even in the absence of a formal diagnosis. If you go with psychiatric evaluation, you have to prove not only that she's mentally ill, but also that she's an unfit parent (you can't necessarly conclude the second from the first). In the end, even with a diagnosis, you're likely to need a custody evaluator, so why not start there?

You should probably get some advice from your attorney or someone who knows the law in your area, but this seems like the approach I'd choose.

Good luck.

[desperado]

Thanks for your thoughts.

We have a Guardian ad litem who is doing the custody evaluation and I'm sure that psychological exams will end up being ordered for both of us because she has a history of depression and suicide attempts (as well as severe alcohol and drug abuse) and I have been treated (successfully) for Bipolar Disorder II (mild) for almost 20 years.  I work as a pharmaceutical representative and I lead depression and bi-polar support groups and I have affidavits from my psychiatrist and my counselor that testify to my stability and strengths and my care for my wife and my children.

The DID multiple diagnosis is a hard one for a psychiatrist to reach because they need so much time with the patient.  The research shows the the average multiple is in the mental health system for 7 years before the diagnosis is discovered, because it masks and appears as so many other disorders.

Some of the strangest things I've witnessed have been
1)  my wife talking about being sexually attracted to our son . . .
2)  talking about wanting to have sex with animals . . .
3)  boasting about how much cocaine she can score by giving guys oral sex in their cars outside clubs.  

In every instance she spoke in a different voice and in present tense.

I don't know what all will come out in the Psych evaluation but I trust there will be some significant deviations in her profile, and maybe she will lose her grip in front of the evaluator.

I don't want to hurt her or harm her in this process, I'm just really concerned about the children's safety and her safety.  I hope that this will lead to her getting some professional help.

Desperado