Name changes in VA

[durandal]

Hello,

I'm a dad who has custody of a 17 mo minor in VA. BM named the child behind my back, and spitefully gave the child her last name.

I was given physical custody in May and have to return to court next month so the court can assess how things are going. I don't anticipate any problems on my end of the arrangements to date. However, I would like to petition the court to have the childs' last name changed to my own.

My basis is the fact that since I have primary custody it would facilitate mayn types of everyday transactions, from signing her up for school to doctor's visits, etc. I also feel that it is traditionally the BF last name which is carried by the child. Finally, I just want my daughter to have my last name.

I've been to Richmond. VA and got the info from vital records, so I know this has to go before a judge. Just wanting to know if any of you have any experience w/ this type of request and any feedback you can offer.

Thank you,
durandal

[mistoffolees]

Sounds quite reasonable - particularly since the kid is only 17 mo. At that age, he/she doesn't even have a clue what his/her last name is, so it can't cause confusion. When talking with the judge, you might want to add a comment along the lines of it being important to make the change soon before it becomes an issue of confusion.

Also, before you go in, ask the court clerk if there's any special paperwork you need to provide for a minor's name change. If there is, you might have better luck if you have the paperwork all ready for the judge's signature.

[sparrowmom]

You are the one who sounds spiteful!

Were you witness to the birth? If so... What would make you think this was done "behind my back"?? How much support did you provide the mother for the 6 or so months that you were aware she was carrying your child?  

If none.. What would make you feel entitled to secure the paternal name?
I assume you did not marry her? What do you think would cause her to give the child her last name??

Custody. tradition.... not enough to facilitate a name change!

Are you certain you are the primary custodian??  Or have you been granted an extended visitation?  

 Your Post smells bad!

If you have indeed been granted physical and primary custody of this child, why would you need to travel to Richmond, VA to prove your point?  

What did you do to the mother??  Sounds like she did what she should have done as one with a sound mind.. (maternal name...  given when a couple is unmarried and unlikely to have a civil contact in the future)

Good luck to you! Let me know if you are successful!  

My basis is based on the fact that unless a married couple agrees on a name as a couple...  The unmarried mother holds the final decision..
When you have held primary for 5 or more years and the mother has abandoned the child, then you have every right to petition the court that the child carry your name..
Until that time... Bashing the MOM is not going to make you look better

[mistoffolees]

>You are the one who sounds spiteful!
>
>Were you witness to the birth? If so... What would make you
>think this was done "behind my back"?? How much support did
>you provide the mother for the 6 or so months that you were
>aware she was carrying your child?  
>
>If none.. What would make you feel entitled to secure the
>paternal name?
>I assume you did not marry her? What do you think would cause
>her to give the child her last name??
>
>Custody. tradition.... not enough to facilitate a name change!
>
>
>Are you certain you are the primary custodian??  Or have you
>been granted an extended visitation?  
>
> Your Post smells bad!
>
>If you have indeed been granted physical and primary custody
>of this child, why would you need to travel to Richmond, VA to
>prove your point?  
>
>What did you do to the mother??  Sounds like she did what she
>should have done as one with a sound mind.. (maternal name...
>given when a couple is unmarried and unlikely to have a civil
>contact in the future)
>
>Good luck to you! Let me know if you are successful!  
>
>My basis is based on the fact that unless a married couple
>agrees on a name as a couple...  The unmarried mother holds
>the final decision..
>When you have held primary for 5 or more years and the mother
>has abandoned the child, then you have every right to petition
>the court that the child carry your name..
>Until that time... Bashing the MOM is not going to make you
>look better


Wow! You sure managed to put a lot of innuendo and personal attacks in one post.

What matters is that he was given primary physical custody and the child lives with him. Having gone through that, it does create a bit of confusion for a kid to have a different name than their parent. Not the end of the world, but some.

Why all the attacks? He asked a reasonable question.

[durandal]

>>>You are the one who sounds spiteful!

>>>Were you witness to the birth? If so... What would make you think this was done "behind my back"?? How much support did you provide the mother for the 6 or so months that you were aware she was carrying your child?

If you had taken the time to research my topic threads before posting a reply to my questions, you would know the answers to most of those questions. I find it very insulting that you would assume the worst and make such an accusation.

I'm not bashing the mom, believe me if i were it would be a much "worse smelling" post, because there certainly is plenty of choices she has made that would facilitate just that.

>>>If you have indeed been granted physical and primary custody of this child, why would you need to travel to Richmond, VA to prove your point?

Richmond is where all vital records are kept in VA. I went there to secure a birth certificate so my daughter and I could travel (via air) to see her grandmother, great grandmother and relatives back in my home town. I shouldn't have to explain this, but you seem particularly ignorant, so I'll just inform you that it makes boarding and flying with a minor (especially under age 2) much easier with proof of age. Not to mention that I needed a birth certificate anyway.

>>>Were you witness to the birth? If so... What would make you think this was done "behind my back"?? How much support did you provide the mother for the 6 or so months that you were aware she was carrying your child?

I have been supportive the whole time, paid child support the whole time - which by the way, I opened the child support case, not the BM. It should be sufficient to say that I know the BM - and you don't. Again, your assumptions hint at your level of intelligence, and if not then certainly your jaded sense of fairness.

>>>My basis is based on the fact that unless a married couple agrees on a name as a couple...

Yeah. That would have been great - except that (as I've explained in many a post that you didn't care to research before speaking your mind) the BM is manipulative, not trustworthy, and as is her nature is not one to cooperate very much.

By the way, you're wrong about the mother "holding all the cards" - as a BF I have every right to the physical and legal responsibilities of my daughter as does her mother! Married or not!

So you know what you can do with your post, your opinions and your "well wishes"?

durandal