Cant locate mother to serve visitation/custody paperwork

[concrete_xprt]

Anyone with any advice or recommendations, please HELP!!! I had a child out of wed lock almost 4 years ago, with a woman that I was engaged to. The relationship dissolved before my son was born. I was in my son's life for his first year.  I then got married to another lady and my son's mother refused to let me see him and has moved from the last known location, changed jobs and phone numbers.  I signed a Declaration of Paternity at the hospital and have been paying over $500 a month in child support thru the Riverside County Child Support Services.  I have not been able to financially afford an attorney.  I have done internet searches and every means possible to locate my sons mother to no avail.  I stumbled across the internet and found a sight to fill out a petition to establish parental relationship and order to show cause for visitation and joint custody.  I have begged the child support department to provide me with her address so that I can have her served the paperwork.  They have put up all road blocks possible, I have sent letters to them to forward to my son's mother.  The last letter demanded child visitation and I also copied onto the letter the penal code about abduction, because she was refusing to any type of visitation or contact.  The district attorney said that they would not forward that letter because it was threatening.  I was just stating the law and was hoping that the childs mother would realize she was breaking the law. I am heart broken and I want to see my son. I pay child support, and I do not want him to grow up without a father in his life like I did, but I can't get any help in locating him.  Why is it the D.A. can take my money, take my license, garnish my bank account and tax refunds? I had a heart attack in November 2004, and all my finances got behind including child support and they say they are doing what is best for my son, but wont help ME be a part of his life, which is the most important thing.  The District Attorney knows her address as well as she has superior court cases for recent traffic violations, and I'm sure they have her address also.  I have sent letters to the district attorney to forward to her asking to see my son, they said they forwarded it to her but that is all they can do.  Please help me, I don't want to give up hope, but the light at the end of the tunnel is gloomy.  I now see why so many fathers just stop trying.  All there money is taken to support the children so nothing is left for legal help, so they just go on with there lives, and 20 years latter there is a knock at the door, and the child blames the father for leaving them. I live in Temecula, California, and I'm 90% sure the mother lives in Hemet, California.  I have used the internet and even paid for private investigator internet searches with no results to locate my sons mother.  Please!!! any help or advice on what to do would be heartfelt grateful. Oh and bye the way she lost custody of her other 2 daughters to her first husband because of child abuse.

[MYSONSDAD]

If I were in your shoes, I would hire a PI. Not had any luck with the internet services.

You could also go to her county. DMV records can be researched at the Court House. They are public record.

You might also want to check into finding her local newspaper on line and keep an eye open.

Here is one that might help Topix.net. Just punch in her zip code.

Does she have family in your area? Maybe there is a relative who will be sympathetic.

Do you currently have Court Ordered visitation?

[concrete_xprt]

I dont have court ordered visitation.  We were never married, we just set up mutual visitation and child support for the first year, and I lost contact with her when I got married. Can I get court ordered visitation without having her address to formally serve her?  You mentioned DMV??  I know according to superior court records(public record internet site) that she had a speeding ticket just 4 months ago, and is making payments to the Banning Courthouse.  Would the court house payment department give me her address?  What would I need to do at the DMV, I know her first, middle and last name.  Would they provide an address?  I am hoping she has another run in with the law so I can show up at the court on the date she is supposed to appear.  I feel she is still living in the same area that I last new of because she has family in that area which is only 40 minutes from my home.  When she is located can I have my wife serve her the summons personnally, I know i cant.

[Troubledmom]

When was your last child support review hearing? If you haven't had one in two years here is the way to get her address:

File in court joindering the local child support enforcement office to have a child support review hearing then request that CSE serve respondent mother as you have no current address :-)

The Family Law facilitators office can get you the papers you need.
Riverside offices are located at:

Family Law Division
4175 Main Street
Riverside, CA 92501
(951)955-1583
Hemet Court
880 N. State Street
Hemet, CA 92343
(951)766-2525

Indio Court
46-200 Oasis Street
Indio, CA 92201
(760)863-7880

Southwest Justice Center
30755-D Auld Road
Murrieta, Ca.  92563
(951)304-5100


good luck

TM