Ex threatening Amber Alert

[IceMountain]

I also posted this to soc.

My ex and I divorced in 2001. At the time of the decree we both lived in the same city. We have both since moved and live 210 miles apart. She moved a month after the decree was finalized and I moved almost 2 years later. Our decree does not address transportation at all. My ex has now decided that she will no longer meet at the 1/2 way meeting point we have used for almost a year. We had the same problem a year ago when she claimed I needed to do all of the driving, but then she did compromise and we began meeting again at the 1/2 way point in August of last year.

We are in the process of having our current orders modified. The original decree is in Iowa, which requires mediation before any case goes to court. I have filed a motion to have mediation ordered. It has not been signed by a judge yet. She still lives in Iowa, I am in Wisconsin.

When I had my son two weeks ago my ex informed me that she would not meet 1/2 way and that if I wanted my son I would have to drive round trip on both Friday and Sunday. I tried to reason with her, but she flat out refused. When I realized it was mother's day, I called her to let her know that it was a holiday and that she had visitation starting at 9:00 a.m. She then agreed to pick up our son at my house only because it would be 'starting her visitation'.

It is again my weekend with my son. We have continued to argue/talk about the transportation issue for the past two weeks. She again has informed me that she will not be meeting 1/2 way and refuses to pick up our son at my home on Sunday.

When I arrived at her house on Friday at 5:00 a sheriff was waiting for me to serve me papers for 'modification of dissolution of marriage'. When I left I asked her if she would be picking up our son at my house on Sunday at 5:00. She replied that she would not be and that if I did not return my son on time that she would have an Amber Alert issued. The sheriff was no longer present during this conversation, but I do have it recorded.

We have joint custody with her as primary.


1. I have researched Amber Alerts and found that they are not to be used in 'child abduction' cases unless the child is believed to be in grave danger. This is not child abduction. She is refusing to pick up our son. Our son is not in any danger. What ramifications will she face if she lies about this and has a false report filed?

2. What are my rights as far as transportation is concerned?

3. I have contacted my local police department concerning the issue and they have filed a report. Is there anything else I should be doing?

4. I also contacted the police department in her city and they informed me that if the Amber Alert is indeed issued that I could be arrested. How likely is this to happen? He stated that she has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that our son has been kidnapped before any action can be taken.

5. Is this considered kidnapping or child abduction? I gave her the option of meeting 1/2 way and to pick him up herself, she is refusing to pick up our son.

6. Now, about the modification papers I was served. These papers have already been filed in the court of the original decree. They were filed in May of last year. We had a pre-trial conf. in October and mediation motions were filed in December. I fired my lawyer in January. I refiled the mediation motion and it is file stamped before the papers she just filed in her district. Who has jurisdiction or venue over this case?

[wendl]

If it is not specified in the court order and you drove to pick up child for your time, she can come pick up the child from your house for your time.

Send an email stating that she is responisble for coming and picking up the child for the start of her time.

I really don't know how the courts would look at you not driving them home, but hell if you drove one way to pick her up it is only reasonable that mom comes to pick up.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Sunshine1]

.

[Kitty C.]

It's received a LOT of coverage here in Iowa, ever since the Jetseta Gage disappearance and murder, so people around here are taking it VERY seriously.  BUT..........before they can even issue one, the LEA MUST track down as much info as they possibly can, which would include info on the divorce and custody.  It's a given that she would give them YOUR contact info....what I strongly recommend is have your proof that you and her have been meeting halfway, since there is NOTHING in your current order about who is to do transportation.  And once you get to court for modification, show the court your proof that she was meeting you halfway, thus she set her own precedence and you want to maintain the status quo SHE set.

Once LEA finds out that there is an open case in regards to custody going on, they will start to question her even harder and also question her motives.  I have a feeling you weren't able to give the police in her city a lot of details on what's currently going on, but they WILL have to have those details before they can issue an Alert.  In fact, it can take up to 4-6 hours before they can issue an Alert, just to make sure they have all the information to legitimately issue one.

One thing you can ABSOLUTELY be sure of.  Amber Alerts have been getting a LOT of press lately and the LAST thing that LEA's want is to have one blow up in their faces because someone like your ex tried to get one issued just to get back at you.  It would make them and the Alert system look a lot less credible.  They will dot their i's and cross their t's before issuing one.  If I were you, I'd be contacting your local sheriff's office EVERY weekend you have your child, just to let them know that if an Alert is issued for your child, they need to investigate THOROUGHLY (ie. talk to your ex) before they issue one.

Damn her for using the memory of Jetseta Gage for her own twisted, sick purposes and trying to play upon the emotions of those who are involved with the Alerts!  That poor child was found sexually abused, beaten, and strangled only 8 miles away from where I live and shook the entire state to its core.  By a registered sex offender, no less.   I thought claiming false sexual abuse charges was bad, but this takes the cake!

[IceMountain]

Well, she didn't get what she wanted this weekend.  I contacted a deputy in her city on Friday night and he made me believe that this was something that could happen and that I was likely to be arrested.  

Then I contacted the police in my town and was told that she didn't have a chance in hell of having any alert issued because we have joint custody and she knew where the child was.

I researched on internet on Saturday and found the criteria for the Amber Alert in Iowa and posted the question to Soc.  

I called her on Sunday morning and reminded her that I would make our son available at 5:00 for her to pick up.  She called a couple hours later to talk to our son, then to me.  She stood her ground that this was going to happen at 5:01 if our son was not back to her.

The phone never rang from 5:00 on.  At almost 10:00 she finally showed up, escorted by my town cop (who I had talked to again on Sunday just before 5:00).

My town cop advised me that if the same thing happens in two weeks to call him again.

I am so damm happy that this turned out in our favor and that she did not get what she wanted!!!  

On another note, I contacted a lawyer in her city today to have the papers she filed dismissed in her county.  The case is ongoing in the original county of the decree.  She did not ask for a change of venue and she did not state the case was ongoing in orginal county in her petition.  HOPEFULLY this will turn out just as well!

KITTY.... Jetseta is a little girl that will be remembered for a long time!  When I think of what that little girl went through it makes me so sick to my stomach.  I have a family member who has to testify (he was not involved, but is a witness) and it is just eating at him and his wife.  This is a true tragedy!

[Sunshine1]

PERFECT.  Not a total victory, but I am sure you are doing the river dance because she didn't get her way for once.  I love those moments, however small they are, I love them!

We had that happen in my very own driveway.  PBFH's day was changed and she came anyway.  Well the last time she had already coerced the kids into the van and the police would not remove them because it was a "civil matter".

The next time, I refused to let them out of the house and wouldn't you know it the cop read through the entire court order looking for any reason for her to be able to take them....I said, sorry officer its a "civil matter"  get her out of my driveway so I may leave.    HA HA!!  I will remember the look on her face for the rest of my life.  Nothing she could do.  

I am glad it went in your favor this weekend.

[curious564]

Iowa statutes say that proper venue is the county in which the party resides.  Just because your ex didn't file for the change of venue doesn't mean that the court you applied in is the appropriate one.  (Unless she still lives in the same county)

598.2 Jurisdiction and venue.
The district court has original jurisdiction of the subject matter of this chapter. Venue shall be in the county where either party resides.
[C51, §1480; R60, §2532; C73, §2220; C97, §3171; C24, 27, 31, 35, 39, § 10468; C46, 50, 54, 58, 62, 66, §598.1; C71, 73, 75, 77, 79, 81, §598.2]

How far away from the original home are each of you?

My ex moved 4 hours away and we have been experiencing transportation stalemate.  We are in PA.

Curious

[Kitty C.]

Children like Jetseta and so many others, especially those mentioned here, who have to go thru hell and back, and sometimes give up their lives so that the idiots we elect FINALLY get a clue as to what is happening with our children!  Don't any of those bureaucrats have kids of their own??

WHY DOES IT TAKE A CHILD TO DIE TO FINALLY GET THE POINT ACROSS???  HOW MANY MORE HAVE TO DIE FOR IT TO REALLY SINK IN???

....sorry, an 'extremely' sore subject with me..........  

Anyway, I'm glad it worked out great for you this past weekend.  Definitely won't be a tactic she will use again, unless she's totally braindead (which wouldn't surprise me).  But beware........if this didn't work, she'll just keep trying other till she finds one that does.  In the meantime, gett ALL the documentation you can on what happened this past weekend.  Even ask the cop you spoke with if he'd make a statement about the events and what transpired and why.  Make damn sure you take this info to court with you, to show them what a real low life this piece of crap ex truly is.

There is a very special place in Hell waiting for her and people like her...I almost feel sorry for her............NOT!