Visitation Woes

[KDBarrett]

I am 34 years old and am on parole. I have three children- a son who is 17, a daughter who is 15, and a daughter who is almost ten months (different mothers). I pay child support for my children. I do not use drugs. I am gainfully employed, and am a productive member of society. I am a manager at my place of business.
My youngest daughter was born July 9, 2005. Her mother and I have been separated since January, 2005 due to irreconcilable differences.
On October 3, 2005 I attended a child-support hearing at which I was ordered to pay $258 per month. Prior to that time, I gave my ex money EVERY time that she requested assistance with items for the baby. The total of this assistance was over $1000.
I was granted supervised visitation with either my ex or her mother, at her mother's house. However, whenever my ex had plans or had to work an unscheduled shift (working in the city where I reside), she would call at the last minute (while I was at work, usually) asking me to watch my daughter at her mother's house (two hours from where I reside). If I could not comply with her request as specified, she would inevitably say that I didn't take the initiative to see my daughter when given the opportunity to do so. She also uses my parole status to threaten that she will not have any problem taking away all visitation rights.
I have seen my daughter a total of 7 times. Four of these visits were held in my ex's mother's home. The other three have been in the city where I reside. Two of these were overnight visits. The last time I saw my daughter for more than 30 minutes was the day after Thanksgiving, 2005.
During the fall, my ex was working overtime in attempt to secure an apartment for her and her 3 children (in the city where I reside) and had placed our daughter "temporarily" with her aunt three hours away. Her other two children remained with her mother and sister while she worked here.
I made arrangements with my ex to see my daughter for the day on February 19, 2006. On the evening of February 18, she was robbed and shot and has since been in the hospital (in the city where I reside). I saw my daughter once during a hospital visit for approximately 30 minutes (when my ex's aunt brought my daughter to visit her mother). Last week my ex was finally released to a hospital closer to her mother's home.
The doctors have said that she will be disabled for a minimum of one year. During this time, she plans to leave my daughter with her aunt. I have made attempts to see my daughter since she has been with my ex's aunt and have been met with lack of cooperation and communication. In addition, my own financial hardship prevents me from making this trip on a regular basis.
I am not seeking full custody of my daughter. However, I am unwilling to pay child support and continue to be denied my rights to see my daughter. If seeking full custody is my only recourse and remedy for the situation, I will not hesitate to do so.
Any guidance or assistance that can be offered regarding my situation would be greatly appreciated. I just want to see my little girl again...

[Ref]

I really can't write much, but there are some things you NEED to know.

1. Child support and visitation are two seperate things. If you stop paying simply because of visitation denial, you will head back to jail ESPECIALLY if you are on probation. KEEP PAYING NO MATTER WHAT.

2. You will be paying HUGE amounts and I mean 10s of thousands of dollars if you are looking into custody and ex doesn't agree. Judges also don't usually change custody unless the child is in danger.

At this point, I think you need to document all the time that she denies you legal visitation (whatever it says on your parenting plan). Keep a journal. If it is supervised, you can use their records to show that you waited with no response. If she calls and tells you ahead of time either go to the meeting center and have them record you being there OR put it in writing that she could not make it and send her a letter "clarifying" the situation certified. (the former is better evidence). After several denials, take her to court for contempt.

As far as you teen children. My suggestion is to try to work through them some visitation time. Offer to take them to a movie or theme park. Yeah, money talks with teens, unfortunately. If they are involved in sports or other activities, go to games etc.

Good luck and remember to Document and BE Patient

Ref
 

[4honor]

You are given a right to supervised visitation with either the ex or her mother at the mother's home.

So make arrangements. The aunt as caretaker will just have to bring the child to the mothers house. If she interferes with your court ordered visitation have her up on charges. Don't threaten, just get proof that this family is interefering and ask for sanctions, contempt whatever.
You need to modify the current order for additonal time. Supervision is not necessary on an ongoing basis unless the court "FOUND" you to be a danger to yourself or your child... so ask for it to go away so you can see your child.

You will need to hire an attorney, or work hard at night to learn the family court laws in your jurisdiction. Continue to read everything on this site. SPARC has numerous resources, free to all. Education and documentation are the keys.

Also, don't let things continue on for one more day or the judge will think it is OK with you. Call the aunt and your ex's mother and set up parenting time ASAP.

[gipsy]

 It sounds that you have a court order "Granting the Visitaion "
    And If this has already occured then her threats are going to be VERY difficult  for her to live up too since she has already let the court order go through with out protesting ,
    There is a twist here that you need legal advice on . That is that the Aunt has custody , Is this by "Court order " ? If not The aunt does not have custody ,
   So My advice to you is too Post on Socrateaser's board '
   And follow the rules if you want a answer quickly ;
   
  I would not jump to the issue of trying to get custody untill you have realistic legal advice , And Know the facts about whom really has legal custody at this time ,
   If the Aunt does not have legal custody , She may be keeping the child from you so you don't take the child ,
   Because if there is no court order saying she has custody she does not have it. and you could take the child from her and run to court and get a temp order m
    But remember we are not atty's so Socrateaser will answer this stuff for you ,
   The problem is If you don't take action' then it does look like you are not trying .
   I have been through the whole process , And there are some real reasons why you could not have contact with the child and they are due to sex crimes or you are a danger to the well being of the child;
   You need to read Soc's page and he Lets you post privately to Him If there is a criminal proceeding or issue ,
  So Take action and be nice to these people , Remmember you will be having to get along with them for a while . And if you had previous problems it takes a while for people to trust again !
   Be patient and when you taslk to them eliminate anger cussing etc , And maybe they will agree to let you over to the aunts house .
 Maybe call auntie and say hey , My child should know Her Dad 1 NA d I want her to have a dad so why don't you let me come over for a while and hold her ,
  The problem is : The child will not know you and will be more likley to cling to the known parent figures , And what will happen at the Aunt's is the child will be likely to cry and the Aunt may think She is afraid of you , And think she should always console the child in your presence , SOOO That Is why the court  Ordered My Supervised visits to be with  A supervieser that My son did not know ,
   So I have an equal chance to get to know him with out him running to known relatives ,