visitation enforcement

[rmac]

I have a problem which is probably a common one for this site but I need to ask it for myself.

I have been divorced for almost 3 years now and am remarried with 3 step-children.  I have court ordered standard visitation with my 5 year old daughter.  My ex refuses to go by the visitation schedule.

I have to call her every weekend and ask can my daughter come over this weekend.  Usually ex will allow daughter to stay 1 night a weekend if she doesn't have anything to do with her herself.  To top it off she asks my daughter what she wants to do and if she doesn't want to come over she doesn't have to.  My daughter will stay most of the day and then ask to call her mom because she misses her and wants to go home.  She says that she never gets to see her mom because she makes her go to MY grandparents house all the time.

Another problem I have is that my daughter stays with MY grandparents about 4 nights a week and they give in to her every demand.  Which is usually where she wants to go instead of coming to my house where we have rules.  They let her eat whatever she wants which is nothing but junk food.  My daughter has 4 cavities and weighs 72 lbs.  She just recently gave up her pacifier.  I wasn't able to see her for 6 weeks because one time she had a very bad fever blister and my wife told her to wait until she was ready for bed to use the pacifier so that it didn't irritate the fever blister.  

My daughter also is smart enough to understand that if she doesn't want to stay or if things don't go her way, all she has to do is say I want to go home and her mom comes and gets her.  If I don't allow her to call her mother then she tells her I refused and I don't see her for a month.  She once went home because my wife combed her hair and it hurt.

Every time she stays with me I get a phone call about something.  Ex even asked me why my wife is the one who wipes my daughter when she goes to the restroom.  (it's because that is who she asks for.  My daughter loves my wife and is very affectionate towards her my wife treats her as her own.)

The judge tells me that The order, which he signed, is over 2 years old and has to be enforced.  Which comes to my problem that I don't have the money to get a lawyer to enforce my rights that I already have.  

Any advice or help would be appreciated.

I am from Georgia.

[MixedBag]

Then you learn how to do it pro se.

Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on search.

Then search on "pro se"

And contact the county courthouse to see if they have forms to use.

Accept a phone call from mom -- but learn when to ignore as well.

Your problem is a common one.

[Genie]

when the child is with you, you tell her that she can call her Mom but she will be staying with you for the rest of the weekend and not going home that day.  Don't deny her to talk to her Mom but hold firm that she will not be going home b/c this is her time to be with you and you don't get to see her much either.

As for her not seeing her Mom much, that is Mom's choice and if Mom tries to give you a sob story about wanting to spend time with her too, just tell her not to have daughter spending so much time at grandparents house then.  It is her choice to do this.  She is just using it to deny visitation.

As for enforcing. Good luck. You can go to court and she can be told to do what order states, and you walk out of court and she does what she pleases.  A viscious cycle.  After many court trips, you may see actually results from the judge doing more than a slap on the wrist. You can go in yourself but make sure you know the law and how it works etc or you will get screwed.

So I would start with being firm and having daughter stay whole alloted time with you.  She is starting to play games here and will do so until showed it won't work.  She will put up a fight at first but will get used to it and know what to expect after several visits.

As for her making a choice to come or not,  She has none.

[rmac]

You are right she is playing games to get her way and unfortunately she does have a say because what she says goes.  I have a hard time disciplining her because of how things are and like I said I have 3 step-children who do not have their biological father in their lives, I am their only support system so in my eyes they are my children.  It's really hard to discipline my other 3 and not be able to my own daughter.  It's not fair to my step-children.  

Also I didn't mention that my ex was arrested dec. 04 for posession of meth.  She also had 2 dfcs cases for dirty drug screens within a 12 month period  and nothing was done they said that because she complied with their plans there wasn't a need to remove my daughter from her custody.  The drugs and the fact that my ex never has her wouldn't that be enough to win me a custody case if I could afford a lawyer to do so?  

I hate that my daughter is being raised this way, but it seems as if I don't have a choice in it.

 I checked at my local court house and you have to search through hundreds of contempt charges and see if you can find a case like yours they won't just give you the forms.  What is wrong with our judicial system.  I don't pay my child support I go to jail, She gets lots of money for child support, doesn't use any of it on my daughter and can refuse me to see her and control my life.  This really sux.