Christmas

[KathyNY]

Our lawyer got a copy of the order that BM's lawyer is submitting to the judge, and if the judge signs off on it, it becomes the court order- the final ruling on our relocation case.  It states that during our Christmas visitation we have to give the kids back to BM Christmas Eve so they spend the night & Christmas morning w/ her!  Just because that's what she got her older daughter's father to agree to, they're trying to make us take the same deal!  So we're going to get screwed by this guy again!  We lost our case because because he didn't have the ba$$s to fight for his daughter, to stand up to BM, and now we're going to lose the holiday of our actual holiday break because of him, too!  I could kick him in those ba$$s he doesn't have!  UGGGGHH!  

I am so mad about all of this!  I keep telling myself to let it go, that they're my fiance's kids, that if he's not pissed (but he is, he just accepts things and doesn't fight it, just like a$$ face Dad#2) then I should just sit back and enjoy the time w/ the kids when they are here.  But I can't.  I miss them so much, and I see how withdrawn their dad is becoming, and how much their grandfather is hurting with them gone.  I see their empty bedrooms and think of all the hours in the days each week that we have free now because they're not here for us to do stuff with them, and it make me so mad, and sad, and hurt.  I can't let go of that.  I can't just be calm and wait for our next visit and not be pissed at BM and want to get back at her in every little way possible, for doing this to us.  Just something as little as her opening the ecard I sent SS for his 1st day of kindergarten (subject- "To (SS) from Dad") and she opened it before he even got home from school, makes me want to drive the 12 hours to her house and rip her throat out!

[ocean]

When do their schools get off for Christmas? That needs to be changed. Here, we get out around the 23 of December until Jan. 2  (so you would have them for one day?)
What else did the final order have (summers, other visits?) WHy does BM's lawyer have the final say over what it says?? Once it becomes an order it is very hard to change it in NY with cause so if you want it changed, now is the time to counter the offer to the judge with your own version if possible.

[Sunshine1]

honey let it all out, that's what these forums are for...education, knowledge, advice, and VENTING!!.

What you said sounded like something I would say, I thought I wrote your post. :)

It sounds like BM is at least cooperating for now.  I am sorry that the move went through, but she barely knows this guy that she married do you really think it is going to last?

I was always pissed about how "happy" BM looked and how much fun the kids had at her house, but now that they have gotten a little older, they prefer me, our house and what goes on here over her anyday.

She's their playmate, she has had about 7 boys friends in 3 years, 5 kids with 3 dads, living on the system, no money, doesn't pay CS, is on disability so she doesn't HAVE to pay CS...the list is endless, on and on.

Plain and simple I hate her guts and if a stray boulder landed on her I would have a party..honestly.  She has put my DH, her kids, her parents, her sister, and her other babies daddies through PURE hell.  

You will over time get over your rage.  I have spurts of rage, but the best revenge of all is loving those Skids, being a good parent when they are there, when you are there, keeping in touch and never giving up on them.  I promise you they will see with their own eyes.  Living well is the best revenge you could ever bestow upon her.

[KathyNY]

The judge gave his ruling in court, told BM's lawyer to write it up and show a copy to our lawyer & the law guardian, then give it to the judge to sign off on.  I don't know why the judge didn't have the order drawn up himself, but hey- this way BM's lawyer is charging her more, right?!

So once the law guardian and our lawyer got their copy of her lawyer's written order, based on the judge's ruling in court, they sent letters to the judge with recommendations/requests for things to be changed- the LG wants it put in the order that the kids come home to us for specific days for our wedding next year, and our lawyer wants the xmas holiday amended.  We won't know what the judge finalizes until we see the signed order.  

We're supposed to get xmas break (I don't know if that means the entire time, 1 wk or what), spring break (again, don't know the time frame), and (up to) 8 weeks in the summer- the judge said "up to" in court but you can bet your sweet a$$ we're not giving them up any earlier than 8 weeks!  

The judge also ordered daily communication by whatever electronic means we so choose, and anytime we want to go visit the kids we only have to give BM 24hr notice and she has to make them accessible to us.  If she comes here for any reason w/ the kids, she has to let us know they're here, and let us see them.  Our lawyer told us that the judge said he's going to keep jurisdication in NY, too.

Once the order is signed, even after our lawyer has requested the xmas holiday be amended, I don't know if we can file a motion for it to be changed- any actions for these parties are to be heard in front of the same judge, so what good would it do?  I wrote to Socrateaser yesterday about filing a complaint or an appeal and it sounds like he doesn't think we have much of a case for either, but he's not familiar w/ NY state.  

[KathyNY]

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--BM knew her new husband as an acquaintance, I guess, while she was still married to my fiance (he told me he knew of the new hubby too).  They got together right after BM & FH split, and have been together for 3 years.  They just didn't get engaged until after he took the transfer, and then got married less than six weeks later, rushing it only because of the trial.  He's a nice guy and loves the kids, but we like him a whole lot less now, if he honestly thinks that taking the kids away from their dad and all of their family is what's best for them.  

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--You're funny!  My FH and I, and Dad#2 (before I wanted to kick him in the ba##$) said we would gladly throw BM a farewell party, and as our gift to her, we wouldn't even attend!

[Sunshine1]

if it comes back worded the way you don't want it you could file a motion for reconsideration and clarification for specific dates of the breaks in accordance with their school calendars.