Father's Rights regarding an unborn child (custody, relocation, child support)

[spike]

Hi,

An ex- girlfriend is carrying our child. In a few months, she will have the baby.

Custody: What are my options regarding custody? Can I get joint custody or sole custody, even it's a girl and I'm a father(or does that even matter)? This is very important to me. I don't really know what the differences are between sole custody, joint custody, and what the advantages/ disadvantages are of any these. Is there a site I can go to find out these items in detail.

Relocation: Because she lives in the same city with me, but is originally from a different state and desperately desires to move back there, do I have any rights to keep her from doing this, now or after the baby is born?

Child Support: What can I do to find out about expected child support, and what is reasonably expected, and what would be excessive.

I've been worried about this for some time. I figured I'd just try to do something about it and finding out the reality of situations before I pull the rest of my hair out :-)

Thanks!
Aaron

[mango]

I'm no attorney...

But my opinion by experience, you need to start now with (finding an attorney) to get jurisdiction in your state. Establish yourself as the father, paternity tests, be on the birth certificate etc.

Request your parenting rights & time right away. Joint custody gives you joint decision making, sole custody for her gives you very little input.

You could potentially get a restraining order to keep her from removing the child. If she moves away you are SOL.

You will likely pay child support, etc.

We did that. Same situation as yours. My husband was never married and he had a little girl. But for many years he parented her by himself while mother was away. She came back into picture and wanted her child and the law stated that she was teh residential parent by default. Made no difference that the child lived wiht the father for years. To the court he was non-existent until the court recognized him as teh father (Ohio Revised Code).

[I_put_my_girls_first]

Most of what I am going to say has already been said, but SPARC is an open book, if your looking for information. To find out what something means, just double click on that word, anywhere, and it'll do a search of the site for you.

Custody: If I were you, go for 50/50, legal and physical.

Relocation:  As already stated, START NOW. Don't wait until she's born, then you won't get to see her for a year. Do not let your attorney talk you into allowing he and your ex-gf's attorney (if she has one) try and negotiate. That will take MONTHS. The longer you do not see your daughter, the more your x-gf can use that against you. Since the little girl will not know you. The first two years of her life are going to be a big deal, determining who she bonds with, and who she is comfortable with. Whomever begins the process, in what city/state it is started in, it usually stays in, unless it's agreed to move it . So start where YOU are now!

Child Support: You'll have to pay it, for sure, but it just depends on your level of income, and your x-gf's level of income, and what it is that your daughter is needing.

We're kind of in the same boat here. My husband wasn't married to SD's BM, but BM left while 6 mo. pg with SD. Foolishly my DH waited to start things, thinking that BM would be fair. SHE WASN'T. So, he got a late start and didn't get to see her until she was 11 mo. old. He also thought his attorny, and BM's attorney could work things out, but no such luck. All the visitation he got, had to be forced.

Email me if you'd like. [email protected] :7