post #3920, June 22, 2004, jt custody of 11 month old son

[Lovingdad]

This is a follow-up post to my intitial one, which has background.
Can any enlightened parents out there please offer thier incite on my questions below?  

A petition for equitable divorce and jt custody of child was filed in county court last week, by me.  (I am considering modifying the initial complaint if possible to request full custody).

My present attorney says that in regard to our 'contested' custody, as long as wife, son, and I are under the same roof (marriatial home), mediators, concilitators, and courts won't hear a custody case (so therefore, I shouldn't go anywhere).  Is this true?

Attorney also says that if wife leaves, and takes child, we will file an emergency temporary custody order, which will be viewed favorable for me, since wife is removing child from marriatial home and dad.  Is this true?

Although its tense in the mariatial household right now, I understand that I can just sit on the divorce action/proceeding, preventing settlement, and preventing sale of marriatial home, so that we all remain under the same roof, and I continue to see my son whenever I want (and am not working, of course).  Is this right?

Thanks in advance!

[darkspectre]

You're asking questions that would require a firm grasp of the legal nuances surrounding divorce/custody in a specific state. You may get some replies from this board but I don't know how much stock I would put in them.

My suggestion is to go to a good attorney with a good reputation and even if you can't afford to have him/her represent you, spend a couple of hundred dollars on a consultation so you can get these questions answered.

As far as your current petition for joint custody goes, you apparently are being driven by a desire to be fair where your soon-to-be ex is concerned. Bad move!

File for full custody immediately and forget about "fair" until this thing is over. I can assure you that nothing she'll do during the course of your divorce and ensuing custody battle will bear any resemblance to "fair." She and her attorney are going to make it their business to crush you and leave you with absolutley nothing - including your boy.

Get on the offensive and stay on the offensive.

[TMO]

I've heard it both ways as far as emergency custody. I've heard of lawyers saying that an order should be filed as soon as the wife takes off with the kid, and I've heard lawyers say that the thing to do is simply file for divorce and custody and go from there. Can someone please shed some light on why this is? Is it because some lawyers feel the mother will simply hire an attorney who will come up with grounds for a temporary order granting her primary custody which will eventually become permanent, and the emergency custody filing gives them an obvious opportunity to do so? Or is it that some lawyers are only willing to do this if they have experience with this aspect and they feel the client will be financially able to cover a large bill?

I have no clue, but as I said I've heard it both ways.

[TMO]

I've heard it both ways as far as emergency custody. I've heard of lawyers saying that an order should be filed as soon as the wife takes off with the kid, and I've heard lawyers say that the thing to do is simply file for divorce and custody and go from there. Can someone please shed some light on why this is? Is it because some lawyers feel the mother will simply hire an attorney who will come up with grounds for a temporary order granting her primary custody which will eventually become permanent, and the emergency custody filing gives them an obvious opportunity to do so? Or is it that some lawyers are only willing to do this if they have experience with this aspect and they feel the client will be financially able to cover a large bill?

I have no clue, but as I said I've heard it both ways.

[Lovingdad]

Update:  word on the street TODAY is that my STBE is under agreement on a townhouse within the same town that we currently reside.   Its feasible that she could swing this financially.  But more importantly, she will obviously take my son with her (since I work 9-5 M-F, can't physically stop her).  Any thoughts anyone?

[Forthelittleones]

You need to file for an injunction baring her from removing your son from the marital home NOW.

Use her lease signing as her intent to take the child from the home in your emergency custody petition.

Good luck!

[joni]

you'd better move on it.  I have a friend in IL where they both live under the same roof and went to trial for divorce and custody.

there's strategy and there's another thing to be able to do what you need to do.  you better get moving on that custody before she locks you out of your kid's life.

[darkspectre]

I gave you the name of a great attorney when we spoke. I've since verified that he does indeed practice in your county.

Call him.

PM me if you've lost his number.