Amend Child Custody

[lookinnomore]

I live in the State of Virginia along with the BM and the two children the BF has custody of.  We (he and I the live in girlfriend) have had the boys ages 13 and 11 for 3 years.  She gave him custody after 2 or the 4 children were proven to not be his and she could no longer care for all 4 of them financially.

The BM has recently gotten married, bought a home, and quit working.  She has served him with a motion to amend custody and support based off the fact that she is financially stable,her home is "more suitable", and has their 2 siblings (half) living with her.

There have been a variety of things that have happened in the last three years that were not in the best interest of the boys, such as letting the 13 yo drive the car in a parking lot, locking him in a car and refusing to bring him home when they had a disagreement.  Allowing the boys to jump off a second story deck onto a trampoline.

We have a 7 minute hearing on the 26th of July.

1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as required by Virginia law to change custody.

2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on other such court precedings?

3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the 26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the last year that show her house to not be in the best interest of the boys.

I hope I have posted this correctly your advice is much appreciated!

Thanks,

[socrateaser]

>1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as
>required by Virginia law to change custody.

It's not the change in circumstances of the adverse parent that matters, and especially not a financial change. It's the change that directly affects the child(ren). Your facts state that various events, but they do not show how these things have harmed the kids. There are also likely problems in proving these allegations, although the facts are unclear as to what actual evidence you can provide, other than your word against the other parent's.

I don't see a change in circumstances warranting a new custody determination.

>
>2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th
>or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on
>other such court precedings?

Doesn't matter unless you have some testimony that would be valuable, were you to be inadvertantly called as a surprise witness. If not, then I would decide based on whether you think that your presence will help your side or hinder the other in some emotional manner.

>
>3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the
>26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the
>last year that show her house to not be in the best interest
>of the boys.

I don't have a clue. You are not providing me with the facts that your opponent alleges.

[lookinnomore]

I live in the State of Virginia along with the BM and the two children the BF has custody of.  We (he and I the live in girlfriend) have had the boys ages 13 and 11 for 3 years.  She gave him custody after 2 or the 4 children were proven to not be his and she could no longer care for all 4 of them financially.

The BM has recently gotten married, bought a home, and quit working.  She has served him with a motion to amend custody and support based off the fact that she is financially stable,her home is "more suitable", and has their 2 siblings (half) living with her.

There have been a variety of things that have happened in the last three years that were not in the best interest of the boys, such as letting the 13 yo drive the car in a parking lot, locking him in a car and refusing to bring him home when they had a disagreement.  Allowing the boys to jump off a second story deck onto a trampoline.

We have a 7 minute hearing on the 26th of July.

1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as required by Virginia law to change custody.

2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on other such court precedings?

3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the 26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the last year that show her house to not be in the best interest of the boys.

I hope I have posted this correctly your advice is much appreciated!

Thanks,

[socrateaser]

>1) Does any of that represent a change of circumstances as
>required by Virginia law to change custody.

It's not the change in circumstances of the adverse parent that matters, and especially not a financial change. It's the change that directly affects the child(ren). Your facts state that various events, but they do not show how these things have harmed the kids. There are also likely problems in proving these allegations, although the facts are unclear as to what actual evidence you can provide, other than your word against the other parent's.

I don't see a change in circumstances warranting a new custody determination.

>
>2) Should I (the live in girlfriend) go to court on the 26th
>or sit it out, the BM has asked that I be asked to leave on
>other such court precedings?

Doesn't matter unless you have some testimony that would be valuable, were you to be inadvertantly called as a surprise witness. If not, then I would decide based on whether you think that your presence will help your side or hinder the other in some emotional manner.

>
>3) What would you recommend as the best line of defense on the
>26th? Go in with the list of things that have happened in the
>last year that show her house to not be in the best interest
>of the boys.

I don't have a clue. You are not providing me with the facts that your opponent alleges.

[lookinnomore]

As you may remember, I live in Virginia.  He has been served for motion to amend custody for his two sons.   I asked about my best line of defense and you said I have not provided facts of his opponenets allegations.  Thats it, really, there are none.  She stated in her motion that she has their two (half) siblings living with her, and her home is "more suitable".

So my question is

1)  Any ideas what I am walking into for a 7 minute hearing on Monday?

2)  How do we appear more suitable than her?

As always, THANK YOU!

[socrateaser]

>1)  Any ideas what I am walking into for a 7 minute hearing on
>Monday?

A change in custody requires a showing of a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child(ren)'s best interests. The fact that there is currently a split custody arrangement does not represent any change in circumstances. Neither does a statement that one home is more "suitable." Thus, you should be able to state to the court that the other parent has not alleged sufficient facts to meet her burden of proof and therefore, that her motion/petition should be denied.


>
>2)  How do we appear more suitable than her?

It's irrelevant, unless this change in suitability arises (1) after the last custody determination, and (2) it affects the child(ren)'s best interests in some substantial way that is NOT financially related.