Question re: change in circumstances

[nosonew]

Soc,(a little history first)
 DH became custodial 1.5 years ago, and we agreed in mediation to meet half way for transportation issues. DH has a 24/7 job and when he is working, I agreed to meet in his absence. The bm was not friendly, but not harassing at my meetings. However, she then began emailing the case manager with false allegations of myself being late, not being able to meet at all, etc. It is basically her word against mine. I emailed all parties stating I was bowing out. If I am not a part of it, she can't falsely accuse me. This caused her to drive the entire way (an extra 49 miles one way).

 DH has had to drive 6 times all the way to her residence due to her own scheduling conflicts to either drop off or pick up. She has driven here twice, yet has sent an email to case manager requesting mileage "since Nosonew refuses to meet per the agreement". The case manager responded with "BM may bill DH __cents per mile and BTW my email has not been working so note my new address".

Which means, she isn't aware of emails I sent her addressing these issues.

My questions:

1. Would her accusations against myself (have copies of email) constitute a "change in circumstance" since I only agreed to meet, I did not agree to these "extra stressors"?

2. Would her moving when dh became custodial parent have any bearing?

3. What arguement would you use? Or would you just hire someone and pay them less to pick up. I continue to refuse to transport regardless of outcome.

4. Would her repeated demands to meet at a location 41 miles from her, 49 miles from us (which is not the court ordered location) have any bearing? She must drive 59 miles vs. our 50 miles to the court ordered location. DH doesn't argue with her, just meets her wherever she requests. Any bearing if they want to push "court ordered"?

(She has a long history of false allegations, including physical and sexual abuse allegations x3 against dh, myself and my (then) 6 year old son.) Case mgr is aware of these not to mention the untruths case mgr is aware of she has told her.

Help! And thank you in advance. State is Kansas.

[socrateaser]

>My questions:
>
>1. Would her accusations against myself (have copies of email)
>constitute a "change in circumstance" since I only agreed to
>meet, I did not agree to these "extra stressors"?

No. The mediation states that the parents will meet half way, right? If DH can't be there and the other parent drives the entire distance, then that parent is entitled to reimbursement.

>
>2. Would her moving when dh became custodial parent have any
>bearing?

No, DH agreed to drive half way, so he's half responsible. There's no other issue that I can see.

>
>3. What arguement would you use? Or would you just hire
>someone and pay them less to pick up. I continue to refuse to
>transport regardless of outcome.

There's no argument. The order says both parents drive half way. You're not a parent, so it's not your problem, unless you allow it to be. This may seem selfish to your husband, but it's not. He should expect to be entirely responsible for his kids, and if you help, then that's a favor, relieving him of some of his responsibility. For you to do nothing is not selfish -- it's just staying out of the issue entirely.

>
>4. Would her repeated demands to meet at a location 41 miles
>from her, 49 miles from us (which is not the court ordered
>location) have any bearing? She must drive 59 miles vs. our 50
>miles to the court ordered location. DH doesn't argue with
>her, just meets her wherever she requests. Any bearing if they
>want to push "court ordered"?

If you don't like the court ordered location, then file a motion to have the judge determine a new location. Don't try to negotiate with someone who is known to frustrate your attempts to cooperate. Do what the court order says, or ask for it to be modified in the child(ren)'s best interests.