Court date in 8 days....what do we do?

[worriedstepmom]

I am new to all of this, so I will try to be as clear as possible. (Might get pretty long though, sorry, I don't know all the abbreviations for the forums yet) My husband has visitation order for his 11 year old son. 2 weekends ago (fri) she calls to inform us that son has mono and will not be coming to our house for visitation. 5 days later (last wed.) we found out that she had him out shopping saturday (the day after he was supposedly diagnosed with mono) husband called the mother and asked her why she would take him out with mono and why her new hubby or mother didn't stay with son or why we weren't called to go over and sit with him until she returned...she refused to answer any ?'s and my husband told her that she could have potentially made him worse and that he was going to find a lawyer. Next day we recieved a call from CPS. Day after that lady from CPS came over and told us that his son and spoken with the mother's lawyer and told him that he was afraid to go over to our house and that father was beating him...shock to us because we've never laid a hand on him (mainly b/c son's mother is always looking for an excuse to keep son from my husband). Lady from CPS told us that her next stop was to talk to son at school, we told her that supposedly that he was sick with mono and didn't know if he was in school or not, or even how he was for that matter considering numerous calls to son's mother and doctor went unreturned. We asked her that if he was in school if she could call us to let us know because we were concerned that we had not heard from anyone as to his condition. She calls back a few hours later to inform us that he was in school and that he looked perfectly fine, stuck to the story that husband was beating him but caseworker stated that his story sounded forced and scripted. Today (4/11) we recieved court papers stating that our visitation is immediately suspended until the court hearing on 4/20/06. Papers state that mother thinks the child is being emotionally and physically damaged, my husband is an alcoholic supposedly and he's been afraid to be with his father for over a year now and many other numerous accusations...mother does not feed him properly, he always looks exhausted when we pick him up, son's grades are plummeting and she or her husband do not help him with homework, he's not allowed to have friends over from school that are his own age, his oldest friend is 7 years old and he has told us this and many other disturbing facts such as he is not allowed to use the phone, and she was physically bathing him until 8 years old. Found that out when we were finally allowed to have him overnight and he wanted me to give him a bath because "I don't know how, mommy does it for me". Everytime he has wanted to stay longer with us, his mother starts bawling because she knows that he will feel bad for "hurting her feelings" and will leave with her...the step-father has reportedly called him names like "moron" and "idiot" and god knows what else...also step-father has 2 children of his own that he either chooses not to see or is not allowed to see...no one will give us information on that....we are really concerned about son and don't know what to do...we have an appointment with lawyer this week but we're very upset about the whole thing...anyone with advise on this sort of things or what we should bring to the lawyers or to court and anything other than our obvious concerns that we should bring to the lawyers attention. My husband is beside himself with grief and our 4 year old daughter keeps crying because she wants to see her half brother and we can't take her to see him...we're going crazy over here...we live in Ohio. Thank you

 

[socrateaser]

With particular attention to paragraphs 2 and 2(a).

Thanks.

[worriedstepmom]

where are the mandatory forum guidelines...i'm sorry, like i said, i'm new to all of this

[Sherry1]

Mandatory Forum Guidelines............

[worriedstepmom]

Sorry


We live in Ohio.  My husband has visitation order for his 11 year old son. 2 weekends ago (fri) she calls to inform us that son has mono and will not be coming to our house for visitation. 5 days later (last wed.) we found out that she had him out shopping saturday (the day after he was supposedly diagnosed with mono).  My husband called the mother and asked her why she would take him out with mono and why her new hubby or mother didn't stay with son or why we weren't called to go over and sit with him until she returned...she refused to answer any ?'s and my husband told her that she could have potentially made him worse and that he was going to find a lawyer.

 Next day we recieved a call from CPS. Day after that lady from CPS came over and told us that his son and spoken with the mother's lawyer and told him that he was afraid to go over to our house and that father was beating him.  Lady from CPS told us that her next stop was to talk to son at school, we told her that supposedly that he was sick with mono and didn't know if he was in school or not, or even how he was for that matter considering numerous calls to son's mother and doctor went unreturned. She calls back a few hours later to inform us that he was in school and that he looked perfectly fine, stuck to the story that husband was beating him but caseworker stated that his story sounded forced and scripted. Today (4/11) we recieved court papers stating that our visitation is immediately suspended until the court hearing on 4/20/06.

Papers state that mother thinks the child is being emotionally and physically damaged, and he's been afraid to be with his father for over a year now and many other numerous accusations.

His mother does not feed him properly, he always looks exhausted when we pick him up, son's grades are plummeting and she or her husband do not help him with homework, he's not allowed to have friends over from school that are his own age, his oldest friend is 7 years old.

He has told us this and many other facts such as he is not allowed to use the phone, and she was physically bathing him until 8 years old.  The step-father has reportedly called him names like "moron" and "idiot" and god knows what else...also step-father has 2 children of his own that he either chooses not to see or is not allowed to see...no one will give us information on that.



My questions are:

(1) How can we prove these allegations are false, it basically our word against hers at this point.

(2) How can we find out more about the step-father in regards to not being able to see his own children.

(3) What should we expect at court?

(4) Do we need character witnesses?

(5) What are the laws concerning visitation?  Was she legally allowed to lie about the child being sick to keep him from visiting on the last visit.

(6)  Any other helpful information you could suggest when we talk to the lawyer tomorrow morning and when we go to court.

Thank you for your time and again sorry about the way the message was posted previously.  Have a good day.

 

[socrateaser]

>My questions are:
>
>(1) How can we prove these allegations are false, it basically
>our word against hers at this point.

Offer to submit to a polygraph exam on the allegations of physical abuse in return for the other parent doing likewise. If you're telling the truth, and the other parent is lying, what usually will happen is the judge will think, "This person is volunteering to take a lie detector, so that means he at least believes his completely innocent, or he's an idiot, because no one can beat the machine." Then the judge will ask the other parent if she'd like to change her story or submit to the polygraph.

Since a polygraph is not admissible evidence unless both parties agree, this is a no win scenario for the other parent, because if she refuses, then her credibility falls through the floor.

Obviously, if you are actually guilty of abuse, then this is not the correct approach, but I'm assuming that the other parent is making up a story, and if she is, then this is the way to have the case tossed out.

>
>(2) How can we find out more about the step-father in regards
>to not being able to see his own children.

You can have the stepparent deposed and force him to produce any judgments or orders against him concerning prior abuse. However, you can't do it before this upcoming hearing, so this is not particularly useful going in.

>
>(3) What should we expect at court?

Preliminary hearings are relatively short. The judge wants to see the demeanor of the parties. Your goal is to convince the court that your ONLY interest is the child's welfare, and that if your temporarily being deprived of custody will quicken the resolution of the matter, then you should welcome it.

Most parents will never do this, so by doing it, you will impress the judge that you are not vindictive and hostile towards the other parent.

>(4) Do we need character witnesses?

The only persons likely to testify at a preliminary hearing will be the attorneys and possibly the parents. The court won't waste time with any other witnesses, unless it's the child, and that's only in extremely rare circumstances.

>(5) What are the laws concerning visitation?  Was she legally
>allowed to lie about the child being sick to keep him from
>visiting on the last visit.

It depends on the exact text of your orders, and the precise diagnosis of the child. You don't have enough facts for me to analyze this, but if the other parent completely invented a story simply to keep the child away from you, and you could prove it beyond reasonable doubt (which ain't easy), then that would be contempt, and you could get sanctions against the other parent for frustrating your access to the child.

>(6)  Any other helpful information you could suggest when we
>talk to the lawyer tomorrow morning and when we go to court.

Your attorney may be reluctant to offer you up for a polygraph (it's expensive, btw $500-$1000 is not unusual), because of the fear that you may not be able to pass. But, like I said, if you're innocent of any abuse, then you have nothing to worry about, and more than likely the other parent will chicken out and there won't be any need for the test.

So, just tell him/her that you want it offerred to demonstrate your sincere desire to get to the root of this matter ASAP, regardless of whether or not the court ultimately accepts it as admissible evidence.

>
>Thank you for your time and again sorry about the way the
>message was posted previously.  Have a good day.

No problem -- it happens all the time.