Supervised Visitations-uncooperative ex

[Liz]

State: Maryland

Socrateaser,

My ex lied to the court, and was able to obtain supervised visitations. The court order does not spell out who, when and where, and even though it does "merge" the separation agreement; my ex goes by the 2 page tells almost nothing order.

Now I am assuming that my visitations are supposed to be just as they were in the separation agreement thus I get 2 weeks in the summer. He agreed 3 weeks ago for me to take one week of that visitation this month. The dates and times were arranged and so was the supervisor.

Last night he changed everything. He is now insisting he will supervise after work, and states that I have to come to his home alone, because its in the court order (I don't see it in my copy of the court order, he seems to have his own version if you catch my drift).  This is also cutting my visitation down to a max of 4 hours per day I am there. I am not comfortable being at his place alone and with no guarentee that our daughter will even be there. Theres a huge trust issue here.

I am filing a modification of custody and visitation based on other issues while I am in the area. I have all the e-mails we have sent back and forth with regards to his agreeing  and then changing.

1. Can I file for contempt since he agreed and lowered the time?

2. Anything I can do at all besides file the modification I already plan to file?

3. What about protecting myself? Am I able to take my own 3rd party with me for safety and to protect my interests?

Thank you for any advice in advance.

[socrateaser]

>1. Can I file for contempt since he agreed and lowered the
>time?

No. The order is too vague. You can file for clarification and enforcement on grounds that he agreed to certain visitation parameters and times and you relied on that agreement by making arrangements to fit the agreement and that you will sustain some sort of loss as a consequence (money, travel reservations, time, whatever). Therefore, the court should enforce the prior agreement.

Whether you can win will depend on the quality of your proof that you made an agreement and that you are harmed by his unilateral modifications.

You can also argue that the change/supervision/etc. is not in the child's best interests, and therefore that the court should modify, but I can't comment about your chances of winning without knowing the specifics of the relationship between you and the kids and the prior orders.

>2. Anything I can do at all besides file the modification I
>already plan to file?

You could move for a temporary order as part of your filing, as per my suggestions above.


>
>3. What about protecting myself? Am I able to take my own 3rd
>party with me for safety and to protect my interests?

Bring a microcassette recorder and keep it running every second you're there. Buy extra tapes and batteries. If you fear physical violence, then you are taking a risk, but if your goal is to really change things around, maybe it's a risk you want to take. Obviously, if you're assaulted for no good reason while you're there and you get it on tape, that would pretty much cook the other parent's goose permanently.

I'm not suggesting that you put yourself at risk. I'm just suggesting that if you're planning on doing it, you may as well go for the goal posts.

[Liz]

I hadn't thought of a microcassette recorder! Thank you for that idea.

It wouldn't be wise to put myself in that kind of risk however, considering the amount of alienation in my case I don't feel I have a choice.

Thank you :)