What to do now?

[Imom]

I filed for a clarification on my new orders on June 2nd .........the new orders did not clearly state that either parent had to inform the other who the minor child's doctor's are in each parent's respective area nor the fact that both parents are entitled to talk to the doctors or request medical records....I filed for further clarifications because I believed contempt would have been a stretch.

 I was trying to set my case up for sole medical decision making rights....I have primary during the school year with joint legal. However, there is now a hearing set for September 6th I think that's too late to wait for this on going issue.

Going over medical records from 2002/2003 for my son while in his mom's care (she lives in another state) the records show that my son was not on any medication however he was in fact on medication for ADHD I simply wanted to show a pattern that she does not disclose medical info to his doctor in her area......At this time my son has EIA (exercised induced asthma) and is on an inhaler plus singulair (singulair since Sep. 05).

There has been repeated statements  from my child that the mother does not give him his medication on a daily basis as prescribed. I now have my son recorded twice stating this.....from the 4th, he stated he has skipped one pill that week he did infact have 2 small attacks that went away quick though; last Sunday  he stated that they are skipping them because he is doing well (he should have gotten a refill on the 9th)..

The medical records from her state show the child has not been in the office since 2003....The mother stated she was getting a new doctor by Feb. this year but has refused to tell me how it is, which is why I filed the clarifications, therefore I am unable to find out if my son has been to the doctor/gotten a refill.

I am assuming I may only be able to get an enforcement order for the medications which will be what I have to settle for. Monday, I will be talking with my son's primary medical  provider here and having him fill out an affidavit.......

I am assuming that I would be unable to use the medical records I have since there are ones I requested for personal use...

1. Would it be your advice not to wait and file a motion now...

2. If now should I file this motion as an emergency motion......or as an ex parte motion (some one mentioned that but not familiar with that term)

3. Should I subpoena the medical records from his last known doctor in her area?

 4. If so how does one do that?

[socrateaser]

>1. Would it be your advice not to wait and file a motion now...

The question is can you prove that the other parent is not giving the child the prescribed medication? If you can, then i would file an ex parte motion now, to restrain the other parent from exercising custody, on grounds that the child will suffer irreparable harm if the other parent is permitted to continue not administering the child's medicaiton.

>
>2. If now should I file this motion as an emergency motion......or
>as an ex parte motion (some one mentioned that but not
>familiar with that term)

ex parte and emergency are synonamous in court; ex parte means without the other party and the court will only issue a restraining order and an order for the other parent to appear and show cause if you can show ex parte, that you or the child will suffer irreparble harm if the relief is not granted immeidately, and without the other parent's attendance.

>
>3. Should I subpoena the medical records from his last known
>doctor in her area?

Sure, but you can get them just by showing the doctor that you have custodial authority in your court order and asking for a copy.

>
> 4. If so how does one do that?

See above.

[Imom]

What would be considered proof?

I have the minor child (age 10; 11 in July) recorded twice now that they are skipping the medication....I have prior letters from me to my ex regarding the fact that after a "certain" visit the child states she had not given him his medication.



1. Would the letters and these 2 recordings be enough?

[socrateaser]

>What would be considered proof?
>
>I have the minor child (age 10; 11 in July) recorded twice now
>that they are skipping the medication....I have prior letters
>from me to my ex regarding the fact that after a "certain"
>visit the child states she had not given him his medication.
>
>1. Would the letters and these 2 recordings be enough?

The letters are probably worthless, as they are not signed by the adverse party. The fact that they weren't respondend to could be an adoptive admission on the other parent's part, which requires that the silent party not dissent when a reasonable person would have, and that the parent understand what was being communicated.

But, the other parent could simply explain the he/she felt no need to respond, and that would be the end of that proof. In sum, you need a response letter.

As for the recordings, they may be good and they may not. Pretend you were a disinterested party listening to the recordings. What would you think? That the child was being honest, or that the parent was manipulating/coercing the child to answer the way that the parent wanted the child to answer?

If the former, then the evidence is good -- otherwise it's not.

[Imom]

Would it be wise to call my ex and ask her point blank if she has taken the child to the doctor for a refill (as the supply I gave her ran out on June 9th) and recording that convo?

1. Would that be proof enough on its own?

[socrateaser]

>Would it be wise to call my ex and ask her point blank if she
>has taken the child to the doctor for a refill (as the supply
>I gave her ran out on June 9th) and recording that convo?
>
>1. Would that be proof enough on its own?

Well, it would certainly infer that the parent wasn't providing the meds. It's not proof positive, but I'd say it's pretty good evidence that the parent wasn't very concerned about the child's best interests. I think it would be good enough for an ex parte motion to enforce or restrain.

Assuming you have notified the other parent of the fact that you're recording.

[Imom]

I am unable to get into the doctor's office and talk with the doctor to get an affidavit from him.

In the mean time I sent an email to the ex (which I still intend to follow up with a call) to which she replied that she does not have any ins.

The original order was Dec. 98; there is no support/medical order at this time. We have always paied/was responsible for medical while the child was in each care on our own.

The child receives state ins while in my care...he has to be in my care for at least 1 day more then half the month for the ins to be effective.
In the past (this is the first I have heard that my ex does not have ins) my ex has always stated the same our child received state ins while in her care. Therefore, no out of pockets to really cause a problem.

I am assuming this may cause a problem....since she does not have ins and can not get the meds, really neither can I (at least not 100%).  Now if the child were returned to my care I could refile a claim and get treatment/medication with payment pending...because the state ins would back pay but agian he would have to be in my custody.

1. Would it be in the best interest of my case to send an offer to pay for 1/2 of the office visit and 1/2 of the meds upon receipt?

[socrateaser]

>1. Would it be in the best interest of my case to send an
>offer to pay for 1/2 of the office visit and 1/2 of the meds
>upon receipt?

Seems like it would be in your best interest to figure out how to get the other parent insured by the state again.

Absent that, then whatever you can negotiate is what you can negotiate. I really don't have a good suggestion.

[Imom]

>Seems like it would be in your best interest to figure out how to get >the other parent insured by the state again.


The only thing I can think of about that is ask the my ex why she no longer receives that and to call the agency there and ask for general questions about eligibility.

I think she just let it go because she has a new man, I looked up an application online and it only refers to the parents income (as with here) and since she has no job she should get the state ins, but I can not make her file for it.

I don't think I can really prove that she would be eligibile...

1. Would the fact that she has no ins. therefore unable to provide the medical attention my son needs hurt my case?

[socrateaser]

>1. Would the fact that she has no ins. therefore unable to
>provide the medical attention my son needs hurt my case?
>

Consider asking the court to order the other parent to maintain the state insurance if she's eligible, or contribute to the cost of you providing an unbrella insurance policy to ensure that the child has coverage, which hopefully will cause the other parent to take the child to the doctor when it's needed.