Does everyone have "right of first refusal"

[pickupsticks]

Is this a clause that must be in your divorce decree because my ex never asks me if she can plan things on my court ordered visitation. I was going to use the letter of denial supplied on this website to guide me but it doesn't say anything about the right of first refusal in our court order it simply states that I am to have x times etc at the minimum. I have requested that she confer with me first on planning things on my weekend but it doesn't seem to stop.  HELP!!!!!

[MYSONSDAD]

You need this to be entered into your CO/Parenting Plan.

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/firstrefusal.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003

 
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/cust_ans14.htm - size 2kb - 08 Aug 2002


"Children learn what they live"

[pickupsticks]

Oh. Gotcha. I thought it meant that I retain the right to refuse any activities that my ex plans during my visitations.  She constantly plans things on my days without asking me first. Is that called something? She makes me feel so guilty. Why doesn't she simply have the courtesy to call me up and ask if this would be alright and arrange another time for me at that time but NO. She simply plans it, says it is not in the best interest of our child that I ruin her plans, alienate my child and never offer an alternative because we do not have "MAKE-UP" time written into our court order.

[joni]

you have to lie down to be a doormat.  

Your Ex wife is in contempt of your parental visitations.  Take her to court and have the judge reprimand her.  Ask for all makeup visitations and your attorney fees.  Teach her a lesson.  If you don't, this is only going to get worse.  

Her BS of the child's best interest it to be with you, the father, NOT sabotaging your precious visitations with your children.

[DecentDad]

Start standing up for yourself, else accept your situation and don't complain.

You have court-ordered time to spend with your child.  Advise your ex (via certified letter, and CC her attorney) that you will be exercising that time and would appreciate that she not schedule activities for the child during your custodial time.

Just as you don't have "make up" time written into your court order, there is no court order for the mother to unilaterally change the custodial schedule on her whim.

Your ex is attempting to sabotage your relationship with your child, and you're a willing participant.

Yes, your child may be disappointed as your ex calls your bluff (and you take the child).  However, if you stand up for yourself, this won't continue for long.

An alternative would be to ask the details of the extracurricular activities, as you would love to take the child to them and share them with child.  No doubt there will be a good reason for you not to do that, right?

Someone else used the term "doormat".  At this point, it appears that your willingness to be manipulated by your ex is perpetuating your troubles.  You're gonna have to grow a backbone here and teach your ex that the days of her rolling over you are done.

DD