Son needs braces

[ncpneedshelp]

I am NCP.  In Indiana.  Ex has insurance on kids, but won't supply me with information as court ordered.
My son, 12, is in desperate need of braces and CP knows this, but is
spending all extra money on vehicles...long story!

1) Anyways, can I take my son to get the braces, pay my half of whatever insurance doesn't pay and send bill to CP?
2) Or can I just pay for them myself without reprocutions from CP or courts?

I really don't care who pays he just needs to get them and I am getting NOWHERE with EX or EX's spouse on this issue..

Any input is greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance.

[mistoffolees]

>I am NCP.  In Indiana.  Ex has insurance on kids, but won't
>supply me with information as court ordered.
>My son, 12, is in desperate need of braces and CP knows this,
>but is
>spending all extra money on vehicles...long story!

You'd need to provide the exact wording of the medical portion of the agreement to know.

And it's quite possible that your ex's insurance doesn't cover braces, so it may not be relevant. However, you should have the insurance information so you can check for yourself. If she won't supply it and the order really requires it, file for contempt to force her to supply the information.

>
>1) Anyways, can I take my son to get the braces, pay my half
>of whatever insurance doesn't pay and send bill to CP?

Probably not - unless you can convince the orthodontist that you're only responsible for half. In general, they're going to want the person who brings the kid in to agree to full responsibility.

>2) Or can I just pay for them myself without reprocutions from
>CP or courts?

You can absolutely pay for 100% if you wish. There's absolutely no restriction on paying MORE than you're required to. Why do you think the courts or CP would try to stop you from PAYING for more than half?

However, if you don't have joint legal custody, you may not be able to legally sign for your kid to get braces no matter who pays. If you have joint custody, you're probably OK authorizing braces and paying for it (check with an attorney, though). If your ex has sole legal custody, then you probably can not authorize braces. If your son really needs braces and your ex won't authorize it, then you'll probably need to go to court to force the issue - which is probably going to be expensive and nasty.

AND, if it's purely cosmetic, the court probably won't require it. There's no law against going through life with crooked teeth, so the courts won't force it. If it's required for health reasons, you have a better chance of getting the court to require it.

>
>I really don't care who pays he just needs to get them and I
>am getting NOWHERE with EX or EX's spouse on this issue..

Ex's spouse has no say in the matter. You should not waste your time talking to him/her.

[MixedBag]

There are other folks here on this board who live in Indiana, so hopefully they will also chime in.

On one of the other boards, there is another person who also can't seems to get the EX to give the insurance information to the other person....so you are not alone.

As I suggested there, see if you can call the HR department to get the basics in order to file claims.

Whether or not YOU can take your child and stuff really, from what I think I've learned on this site, is whether or not you have joint custody in your decree.  There have been definitions by Socrateaser on this part of the board of just what you can and can't do when you have joint custody.  Do a search and you should find some of the older postings.

Then make it happen on your child's time with you.

And yes, send the other parent the bill for their half.

Make sure the order says that ortho is covered (for my girls, with EX#1, it wasn't covered because he convinced the judge he didn't want to pay for it and I thought whatever, I'll make sure it happens).

Good luck!

[ncpneedshelp]

Thank you.
Ex has full custody.  They live in different part of state.  And
I figured I did not have the "right" to get braces for him on my dime.  That's what I meant when I said I would pay the whole thing, I know darn well no one's EX would argue someone paying the bill 100%!  But
I was thinking of having it done this summer (kids here majority of summer.) without saying anything to anyone and taking whatever from Ex and/or courts when I had to.  Kids are more important than some things, but I know it would make thing ALOT more stressful for the kids if I just did it anyways.

Ex's spouse intercepts every email even when addressed to EX...
My son really wants braces and yes, it would be cosmetic.  Ex has bad teeth so probably doesn't think it is important.  But kids tease my son  and it hurts him and me to hear this.

Not sure which way I am going to proceed on this, but appreciate your input!!
But what would a court actually do if I did just do it and Ex took me to court?  Hmm, makes me wonder.
Thank you.

[mistoffolees]

In that case, I wouldn't do it. Since she has sole custody, you could get into a lot of trouble. I would assume that it would be just civil charges, but I can picture a scenario where you might even get charged with criminal charges.

This would be particularly true if it's purely for cosmetic reasons.

I would suggest that you write a letter to the ex stating that the dentist has recommended braces and you'd be happy to take on the inconvenience during his time with you in the summar as well as any expense that isn't covered by insurance.

If she declines, then I would not do it - you could ask the court to order it if you wish, but that's going to work only if there's a solid medical need for it.

[ncpneedshelp]

Unfortunately, Ex is now unemployed (kind of, again a long story!) and Ex's spouse is self employed, so no HR to contact!
I do remember once that they told me they had BCBS, I think I will contact BCBS this week and ask!  Worse they can say is "no we can't give you that information".
Or, can the insurance company give me the information? Another think I need to find out about!
As I stated before tho, I don't care if I have to figure out a way to pay for this myself or if insurance does, I just want to do what is best for my son!
Thank you.

[Kitty C.]

Even if you can get the braces done while he's with you this summer, there are a LOT of follow-up visits required..........do you think BM will take him to them?  Braces won't do him any good whatsoever if you don't follow the complete program from beginning to end.  And if she wanted to be really vindictive, she could have them removed by someone locally as well.

I understand your concern and certainly sympathize, but I truly feel this is something that you will need to work out with the BM in order to make it happen.

[MixedBag]

Ah, but if the EX has full custody, I'm translating this into sole.

And I agree that you don't have the right to do this.

Will tell you that I've had two different insurance experiences on insurance covering braces.  Each paid either $1K or $1500 over a period of time, which didn't even come close to paying what it actually costs.

In your situation, IF you are willing to pay for it in full, I'd write the EX a letter stating that you're willing to do this and see if she will start supporting this.

Otherwise, your child is out of luck.  The court took away your right to make anything happen for your child.

[mistoffolees]

I agree - with one exception.

If the orthodontist says the kid needs braces for medical rather than cosmetic reasons, it's possible that the court would order it. However, my guess is that it would be a very expensive, lengthy process to convince a judge that there was a medical necessity. And I'm not sure, but I don't think very many people actually NEED braces.

[ncpneedshelp]

It really would be cosmetic purposes, I think.... I can't get any information out of them for sure.  
I have emailed, told EX I wanted to take son to get braces, told them I would split, or pay, asked them if they would supply insurance info and write letter stating "permission" to do so....
I also would find an orthodontist locally that has Saturday hours, the only thing they would have to worry about is if something broke while there...
I will await Ex's response, but whenever I ask something they don't want to answer, or if they know I am right, it gets ignored...
Unfortunately, my children (son 12 and daughter 9) do not feel comfortable enough to talk to Ex or Ex's spouse about alot of things.  Afraid it will upset Ex some how, so I hear about certain things EOW and often don't know what, if anything, I could or should do.
Thank you for advise!