Just needing some moral support...m

[olanna]

My own son came out here at about 15. He told his dad he was coming, I bought the ticket, my brother took him to the airport and I picked him up. My ex refused to sign custody over, but I hired an atty to stop the cs being paid to my ex since the kid was with me.

Why bother getting custody of a 15 year old kid? and no, most judges won't even get involved with a kid that old, ever.

They know that by the time the custody battle would be over, the kid could very well be 17 or 18...and it is useless.

And keep in mind, if a child is in another state, that would require extradition to the original states, and states aren't going to pay for that.

Kidnapping is taking a child, against the child's will, and holding the child in a secret spot without anyone knowing the whereabouts.  A child getting on a plane with both parents well aware of the take off and landing does not meet that requirement.

[Giggles]

If SO's son (will be 15 in October) comes out for Christmas Break, calls his BM and says "Mom  I'm not coming back, I'm staying with Dad" nothing will happen?  SO is planning on filing for Custody because that's what his son wants, would it be better if that's on file first?

[olanna]

Is Mom in agreement with it? If they can talk, then talk.  If not, this could get tricky because of school.  Now I didn't have any problem registering Dman for school, but he had already been in this district before.  Plus I had ordered his transcripts so there was no questions about it.

Wen will the kid be 16? This is some magical age for most courts and really if there is a CS order in place, he will need to prove he has the child living with him so he won't have to deal with arrears continuing to build.  If the child says he isn't going to get on the plane, not much Mom can do and the courts just won't step in.  I know it.

[MixedBag]

I agree with this -- but in my case, dad won't talk to me.  He's probably printing this off right now, but considering how beligerant he continued to be in his letters, talking for our situation was not an option.

Giggles, sent you a PM.

Have had 4 children in this boat over the years....

All of whom moved successfully.

And yes, all were a bit different in how they were handled.

[Giggles]

According to SO...Mom would never agree to it...she does what she can to keep David from my SO.  Even to the point of opening the letters that SO had sent to David...then either wouldn't give them to him or berated him about them.  David told SO to stop sending letters :-(

David is currently 14 and will be 15 in October.  Right now SO isn't concerned about CS.

I think one problem SO may face is the fact that the order is in VA, he lives in PA and David lives with BM in WA.  I told SO he would have to file for custody in VA but the BM could have the case moved to WA once she's been served.  I also have a feeling that if he serves her prior to christmas break, that she wont send David out....

I'll have SO check enrollment procedures for the school in his area.

[Giggles]

Thanks!!!

I'll show what you posted to my SO and see what avenue he wants to follow!

[Sherry1]

of the age of the child.  Kidnapping is also taking a child against the parents wishes.

[olanna]

he would have done just that.  I don't believe you can call it kidnapping when a child that is 15 or 16 refuses to go to the other parent.  Especially if the child calls and says "I am not coming back".

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Time for my 2 cents.

My children were awarded custody at the ages of 12 and 9 to dad. Neither wanted to go, neither want to be there still. That was 4 years ago. No, I was not abusive, neglectful, drug user, none of that. The COURT APPOINTED PSYCHOLOGIST advised that the children should remain with me. Simple matter of fact, dad had more money.

2 years ago, I moved a ten hour drive away.

Fast forward to now...my 16 year old daughter ran away. She immediately called me and I immediately called my sister, who picked her up. I asked her to please drive her to just outside of the town line, as I wanted the State police involved, NOT the local police (who dad has in his back pocket.)

The State Police officer that responded stated to my daughter that she was 16, she could decide where she wanted to live. My daughter's response was, "Then why did the judge tell me he would say where I live until I'm 18 years old?" The officer looked at my sister, and did not respond.

Even Soc had told me that the legal system would listen to a childs feet.

The State police took my daughter back to her dad's. Children and youth arrived. My daughter made it perfectly clear she did not want to be there. Children and youth advised my daughter that if she ran away again, she would be placed in a boot camp for delinquents. (My daughter is a straight A student and has NEVER been in any trouble.)

3 months previous to this, my X beat my son's behind with a board. Children and youth were called, photo's taken, etc. They determined the children should not return to the home. The children wanted to go to my sister's. My X did not want that. They returned to HIS home. (My sister is a regional manager Caseworker for the elderly.  Nope, she's not one of the bad-arse druggy awful persons either.)

So what it boils down to is...Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.

[olanna]

My kid returned home from visiting with me and told his dad three days later he didn't want to live with him anymore.  His father told him fine but he wasn't helping him do anything.  And he didn't.

I bought a ticket and my brother took him to the airport.  Dad refused to change custody without a fight, so I just hired an atty here to stop support payments from me.  I proved he was here, enrolled in school, had a family physician and that was that.  The other state stopped the order, no real point in changing custody.

And then my option was to file for support for him.  No custody needed.  He was 15 almost 16, I believe.