My CS Beef

[melewis03]

I'm a recently divorced father of two that was just recently ordered to pay support for my children via wage garnishment. The amount being taken is outrageous and will put me out of my house in less than 2 months. How in the world is it even legal to come up with such an unreasonable support amount to income ratio and force it on a person without giving any time for adjustment. This is supposed to be for the good of the children but I can imagine that this will wreck my life (that I have slowly had to put back together after losing everything I owned to my ex) and subsequently interrupt support payments. We have drugs and murderers everywhere and I'm being told that I risk going to jail if I don't comply with an order for an amount that far exceeds the amount that we paid for our children when I was married. Something is seriously wrong here. I can't believe fathers have been going through this and no one has stood up to our judicial system.

Just my .02

[jilly]

Welcome to our world.

You're right...it doesn't make sense that you're supposed to live in poverty. But at the same time you do have an obligation to take care of your children even though you no longer live with them. It's not an easy balancing act. You just learn to do what you can. You can thank your state offidals for this legal form of extortion. The only way to get it changed is to complain loudly to those same officials. Be prepared to be ignored. It's totally unreasonable to determine the amount of child support based on GROSS income because that's not a true indicator of what you ACTUALLY bring home.

[melewis03]

I plan on making a lot of noise because this is wrong. Yes I know I have an obligation and I even don't mind the amount so much because my kids are worth it. My problem is with the fact that one day they said "YOU HAVE TO PAY" and I was like ok, do I get like 30 days to pick up a second job or something? And they said "NO"! I was like ok, I will lose my car and possibly my job if I can't get to work and the lady that I was speaking to said and I quote, "that's not our problem sir". It's sometimes really hard to believe that educated people make the rules of this country. Or maybe I'm very disillusioned and this actually does make sense...

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

It's not only fathers hon...

I had my support hearing yesterday. The amount of money I will be left with after paying support will be enough to pay my rent and my heat.
My X makes twice as much money as I do. He has no mortgage. He and the new MRS. both drive new cars.

On top of that, his lawyer unilaterally decided that my X will get to claim one of the kids for last year. (He's only had them since Novemeber 15th)The child support I received was based on the fact that I got to claim both kids, and therefore received HALF of what I am paying him!!!

The state of PA. allows me to keep a minimum of $550.00 a month. I'd like to see ANYONE live on that amount.

To prepare for the fact that I would have to pay support, I took out my second phone line, lowered my cable to basic (the kids have to have something, even tho I don't watch TV), canceled two insurance policies, and have a life policy paying itself for a few months so I can try to pay some bills off so I can survive. It isn't going to help, because I'm not going to be able to pay them anyways.

And to think they wanted more!!! Well heck, my X is going to have to get insurance on the kids now, and my support is only going to cover the insurance. And it won't cover his daycare...ummmm...daycare??? What's wrong with the new MRS?  How DARE HE CRY about getting what he wished for???

I fought tooth and nail to keep my kids. I will fight to get them back. They are miserable. My daughter has fallen from straight A's to C's, my son is failing, and I received a call yesterday afternoon that he is in detention for the third time in two months. (Gee, he's been with dad for 2 months, isn't that odd???)

But, my point is......it isn't only dad's hon......

[melewis03]

Forgive me if I have made this seem one sided. It's a very touchy issue that hurts the children more than the adults. I'm sure mom's are going through the same as well. Tell me something. How did he end up with custody? Did he pay some fancy lawyer to make it happen for him? I really hate the direction that this country is headed in. My birth parents are still married and I feel that is a major contributor to my success in life so far (I'm 34). Listen to the music today. It's all young people blaming one parent or the other for their misery. It scares me. My ex has my children going to therapy for some odd reason...basically giving them a reason to feel sorry for themselves. They had a good suburban life with parents that loved them and there was almost 0 friction in our household. A total model American family.  So now my job is to create a balance to this and counteract the negativity. I hope for the best for you.

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

He ended up with custody based on a whole stack of lies.

This whole thing is a nightmare. To this day, I cannot believe this has happened. The main reason I lost custody was because my lawyer totally failed to present ANY evidence or subpoena any pertinent witnesses that would have proved my X a liar in court.

The whole situation is just too far out.  If my X said it was so...it is in the findings of fact. No proof, but because he said it, it's so. The one witness that my lawyer did subpoena was my son's Mobile Therapist (my son has ADHD). He testified that my X refused to allow him into his home. But the findings of fact state that dad is willing to co-operate???

It's just all way toooooooooooooooo crazy!!!

[mommy of three]

First know that you are not alone.  This is coming from a CP and a soon to be step mom.  I agreed on a small amount of child support simply because I don't feel that my ex should have to live on $400 a month.  That is what he would have had to live on based on the CSEA's figure for child support.  I incure almost ALL of the costs for raising our 3 children and it is hard at times.  I want the kids to be able to spend time with their dad when they are with him and not have to be at a babysitter because daddy has to work 2 jobs just to pay his child support.  
My fiance's ex however is out for every penny she can squeeze out of him.  They have one son together and he pays almost TRIPLE the amount in child support that I recieve for one.....and almost twice the amount the the CSEA originally had figured out for my children.  Is this fair......NO.  We have my soon to be step son ALOT too.  Not only does my fiance have to pay this outrageous amount in child support, but also has to provide medical insurance, buy clothes to keep at our house because his ex will not send any clothes here(in the summer time this expense almost breaks us), provide all of the transportation (about 75 miles each way), pay for child care when we have his son, plus his ex is always asking for money for extras.  
I understand that the ex still has to maintain a home for the child but SO DO WE.  It's not fair and alot of times the money doesn't always go for what it is supposed to.  We keep getting told over and over again to just deal with it.  

[melewis03]

So then you feel my pain. This is not right and it's going to catch up and bite America right on the a$$. The funny thing about my situation is that now my ex may have to pay back taxes and she's being told that the IRS will garnish her child support if she doesn't pay by a certain time. So after listening to all this talk from the puppets at the child support office about how this order is for the welfare of my children, all of a sudden my kids don't mean squat to the government. This is an evil place with mean evil people and God is watching all of it. Like I told my ex, I'm not mad at her at all and have no problem paying the support. I just have a problem with the unfair bullying tactics of our government in this so called free country. No one should be allowed to just exort and break a person like that.

[Peanutsdad]

Join the club.... it suxnutz. Truly does. It's also the burden NCP's have been dealing with forever.

If you are looking for understanding from CSE, you'll never see it. So long as the federal government gives a kickback to the states as an incentive to collect every dollar from you and every other paying parent, you will never see any slackening or reform from them.

[norma]

Unfortunately no one understands the plight of NCPs until they become one. Your story is typical, not at all unique and unfortunately very very very very very unfair. It is true, this is a violation of our freedom and in fact of our very rights as law abiding citizens. Actually, it is a travesty of justice. Furthermore, it stands right up there on the discrimination table next to the civil rights movement of the 60s. We need to organize and band together to fight the twisted system that's running and ruining our lives and the lives of our innocent children. But how? The corruption runs deeper that you can even imagine. The Federal government pays the States hefty bonuses for collecting child support payments. It is the Federal government that allows for the garnishments. The judges have too much discretion, the lawyers get rich off divorce trials, custodial parents (99% women) basically get full control over our children, and the only laws on the books relate to punishments surrounding the non-payment of child support, there are no sanctions for CPs who violate visitation orders, no sanctions for parental alienation, no sanctions for CPs who move across the country so that NCPs cannot see their children. We are discriminated against, stripped of our rights, and treated as second class citizens. I have heard of NCPs being "blacklisted" for trying to fight the system. I have heard of the many many attrocities being committed against NCPs. Child support is glorified alimony only it's actually worse because the NCP cannot write CS off on their taxes. Worse than this, many CPs are so vile that they alienate the NCP from their children. And so, NCP is broke, broken hearted and forced to pay extortion money because he has made the mistake of getting married in this great country of ours which pretends to live by the constitution of the US. Wait, when a little more time goes by you will become frustrated to the point of insanity. I have proposed several times on this website that we need to come together to do something about the injustices that are going on . . . . . . . .
NO ONE WANTS TO DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!