Cross-post from Soc board re: child support arrears.

[zapped]

SD (14) has recently decided to live with DH and I. Everyone (including BM) agrees with SD's decision. SD will move in with us in about 3 weeks when the school year ends. DH and BM came to an agreement (verbal) that DH is not going to seek child support from BM (keep in mind we have five kids of our own at home!). BM agreed to waive everything (EVERYTHING) just as long as she didn't have to be garnished every month for SD's expenses "or she wouldn't be able to survive". Whatever that means.

DH currently owes back pay. He was laid off several times over the past few years (he is in the IT field/Silicon Valley dot.bomb!) and his support payments were between $700-865 per month at that time. BM refused to temporarily suspend child support while DH looked for a new job. The arrears grew like wildfire (took a while to find a new job - for those in IT and in CA, you know what I'm talking about).

BM says she closed the child support case this morning (she says she will no longer receive current support). However, BM said she kept the arrears active "for security reasons". BM says she will waive the arrears when SD turns 18. LCSA told BM that we may "do her wrong" in the future and convinced her to keep the arrears active. So arrears are still there, will remain on our credit report, will continue to grow interest each month, and we are 100% responsible for a child that BM will contribute no money towards for the next four years. (DH has paid CS since SD was 1 - this man is NOT a deadbeat by any means!).

I don't understand what is happening.

1. What defines a "closed case"? I was under the impression that once custody was transferred and DH no longer pays BM child support, the case is essentially "closed" - no current support, no more arrears. Do I have this wrong?

2. If DH still has arrears, this means that our IRS taxes will still be intercepted and BM can turn right back around and try to collect arrears from DH, even if SD lived with us?

Feeling stumped. And I definitely feel like we're getting the short end of the stick right now.

BM keeps saying that it's not about the money but her actions are completely opposite. She keep saying that the arrears are for her "security" - whose security - SD's or HERS?! BM says she feels like we might "get over on her" --> I have no clue what this means. If you look at the big picture, we are bearing 100% financial responsibility for a teenage girl (who can get expensive, by the way!) and all BM will worry about is HERSELF for the next 4-5 years! No visitation limitations, nothing.

[rini]

Hi

first of all this is just crazy........  

the arrearage should be totaled.  

each month she does not pay support that the child is eligible to recieve support from her mom this should be subtracted from what he owes.

there should be no interest acrueing except perhaps a set amount on any arrearage left after the child emancipates.

i would not allow this to happen no way no how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you need some suggestion for an agreement let me know

God bless

rini

[KAT]

Once the daughter moves in, tell bio that you are going to seek full support  (AND GARNISHMENT, teehee) unless the arrears are legally court ordered & removed. You can come to an agreement between yourselves & file it with the courts. If she refuses, file for child support, it's not going to matter that your husband is in arrears. At least this way you can send the checks back in for the arrears. I agree this is utter bs. Even after the child turns 18 she can come after your husband for the arrears (NICE SAVINGS ACCOUNT HUH??)  and because there was no court order for her to pay, then she isn't liable for the past 4 years (there would be nothing a judge could do to offset your husbands arrears).
KAT

[zapped]

Hi Rini,

Thanks for the reply. Yes, please forward any suggestions you may have for an agreement. I just realized that we all agreed that we wouldn't have a set visitation schedule - basically it's whenever SD wants to go or whenever BM feels like hanging out with her.

I'm starting to think this may not be a good idea since we won't have anything to fall back on in the event that BM and DH end up not agreeing on a particular date or whatever. Also, if we were to turn right back around and seek support, LCSA would have no court ordered visitation schedule/percentage to fall back on, right? This would call for another modification of visitation, correct? Dont want that!

DH and BM are suppposed to sign papers tomorrow.

Thanks!

[zapped]

Hi Kat,

Thanks for your reply! I never thought of that idea. Actually, I like it. :) Last night DH talked to BM and supposedly she is going to make a trip to the CS office on Monday morning to waive the arrears. I have to see it to believe it.

:)