Collecting from a dead beat dad

[lookinnomore]

OK here is my story, thought someone out there might have some useful information for me as I am at a dead end!

I live in Virginia with 3 kids, he (dead beat dad) lives in Kentucky with for the record a nice lady. He owes me in excess of 29,000 dollars.  I have written to Kentucky child support enforcement (CSE), of cource they won't talk to me because I don't have a case there, mine is in Virginia.  I have written to the head of CSE in Kentucky, as well as some congressment, governors, and anyone else that looks important.

I know he holds a CDL drivers license and is working somewhere.  I do from time to time get a small bit of money.  He is adminstatively ordered to pay 315.00 for 3 kids, plus half of what it costs to have medical insurance.

I have tried to enlist the help of those  place that promise to get you money, but, I have had no help.  I thought child support was a felony and as sad as it is to admit, if he isn't going to pay me I'd just assume see him locked up.  I know this sounds bitter, but, come on I didn't make them alone shouldn't he help support them?

Any ideas?

[wendl]

I can totally relate, my ex is 19k in arrears to our son, 11k in arrears to his othe chlid.

I had to push, push push the cs office in my state to file contempt on his,  and finally they did in 2001, at that time we was 23k in arrears to our child, after me pushing the state finally went for contempt (as my ex has no license, no real property, and lives off woman) so they  courts found him in contempt, put him in jail bond was 700 cash to support office, which his current girlfriend paid. After this he paid his 160 a month without fail.

Fast forward to 2004. Last support payment rcd Jan 04 $38.
I called the cs caseworker and he sent it to the prosecutors office, they are requesting the following from my ex
1) fine 2,500
2) cash bond $k
3) current support 160 plus 500 towards arrears
4) state atty fees
5) for him to hand over all real property
6) failure to comply then jail time.

You can do this yourself thru the courts that your case is in, if you want I can email you the last contempt orders the state filed against my ex, so you have something to work off of, but I can't do this until next week when I get back to work.

Let me know.

Its so sad that some men dont even attempt to pay their cs, while the dads that pay or attempt to pay get put in the same caterogory(sp) as these men. My dh is a great father to his kids and my son, and he pays his support. (even though to look at my skids makes you wonder were that large sum of money goes)

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[lookinnomore]

Least I know that I am not the only one to make a bad decision on who to have my children with.

Here is my question, how do I get CSE to go after contempt charges? Is that something I can do against DH on my own through the court here? I was told if I try to run him through court in Virginia then CSE will drop my case.

WOuld greatly appreciate any information you have that you think would be useful for me. Hate to say it but, I would love to fry his ass for making me work so hard to support my kids while he takes the high road.

[Peanutsdad]

From a Deadbeat Mom.


In any case,, it's a tough go all around.

[wendl]

I had to push the ose office hard for them to do anything the 1st time, I called 3x a week til I got action, my case worker kept telling me that the judges like the custodial parent to file the contempt.

You could do this one your own. I really don't think the courts would look down on your considering the excessive amount that he is behind, now if he was only like 3k or so behind it wouldn't press.

Is there a reason is he is so far behind, my ex was so far behind cuz he just didnt pay nor did he attempt to pay.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[lookinnomore]

my x is behind because he is lazy and thinks that because my mom has money and the guy I live with makes decent money that he shouldn't have to pay.  He does pay 3 or 4 hundred bucks in a years time.  He did fight Hepatis for the last year where he was taking medicine and while he was doing that I didn't hound him or CSE but, I think that was all a ploy to make me feel sorry for him.  

I had been writting to CSE and everyone else I could think of in Kentucky which is where he lives so I guess I will start sending a letter a week to my case worker in Virginia.

I just personally think its unfair that some parents don't have to pay their support and its maybe just as many moms as it is dads.  It only hurts our kids.  

So I just go to the court house and tell them I want contempt papers for a dead beat dad? Even if he is out of the state? Can it be served out of state?

[lookinnomore]

I didn't mean to sound bias, and you are probably right, the courts feel more sorry for a woman than a man.  Didn't mean to step on anyones toes if I did!

 x(

[wendl]

Peronally I would call them too. My ex would pay maybe $100 a year.  My ex feels that since I am remarried that my hubby should help support our son, well its not my hubbys responsibility as he has kids of his own that he needs to support (which he does) My parents too have money, however its their money not mine.

In my case the entire situation is sad, his dad doesnt see him (his choice) and doesnt pay his cs, he has 5 kids by 5 woman in which he supports none of them (two were given up for adoption, 2 he is ordered to pay support for and the 3rd ones mom wants nothing from him, he has never even seen his children but the one we have together.

Oh well his loss, I provide for my child without his help and will probably continue to until our son is older and out of school/college should he go.

:)
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, tis ok,, I try to keep in mind with this issue,, there are 5 sides.

A mans side on paying.

A mans side of recieving.

A womans side on paying.

A womans side on recieving.

Somewhere in the muddled up middle,, is probably the truth.

[SadStepMom]

CPs who really do have deat beat exs find it impossible to collect the support... yet

A CP who does nothing but lie can walk into the child support office (or what ever you call it) fill out a form with her/his lies and get an order to collect/wage garnish with out a problem?

DH's ex did this and came up with him owing $8000.  At the time he was actually ahead a little over $200.

We went to court to say that we didn't agree with the amount, Judge said okay, that he would put the order in to have it registered in our state, and that we could take the cancelled checks to the CSO and get credit for them.

That was the start and it didn't work out as simply as taking the checks in.

This was almost four years ago, and we still haven't cleared up the mess (the last 2 months is due to DH not calling CSO to make an appointment)

[your_sidekick]

Hi there. I have the same problem except in reverse. My ex lives in Virginia and I live in Kentucky.

VA and KY do not cooperate with each other. I dunno why.

I advise taking him to court and filing contempt against him yourself. CSE in Virginia won't do it most likely. My ex went nearly 6 years without paying a cent and Virginia did nothing. The case jurisdiction is in Virginia and I moved to KY 5 years ago. KY refused to let me transfer jurisdiction here.

[wendl]

LMAO bm took dh to court a few years ago, she claimed he owed her over $500 for unpaid daycare, so dh got his receipts etc, and he overpaid by like $38 so needless to say she didnt get the $500, gotta loves the cps that all they are about is money, by advice to them GET A JOB and DONT get FIRED again. hehe

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**