What do I do?

[retro80zkids]

My ex wife and I have 50/50 legal and physical custody.  When we divorced we did the paperwork ourselves and ordered no child support because we thought since we have 50/50 custody that it would mean it was even and nobody should pay.

Since the divoce 2 years ago, we have found out different.  We found out that in 50/50 custody, who ever makes more money pays.  So basically, they figure out what I would pay if I didnt have primary custody.  Then they figure out what she would pay if she didnt have primary custody and then subtract the smaller figure from the larger and who ever makes more money pays that amount to the other person.  To this date, she hasnt taken me to court for it but has done other things to make me mad in other ways.  Basically our relationship has deteriorated to nothing.

Recently, I found out I may be losing my job of 12 years.  I work for the state so if I wanted to, I could retire instead of getting fired.  How would a judge look at things if I asked for child support should I retire???  I dont want anyone to think I retired on purpose!   I, of course, would HAVE to get a job but I am sure my ex will still be making more than me.  I will need this money in support to get by!  I dont want to be wrong in doing this but........I will need it.

Also, if you figure our times out, my ex actually has the kids 2 hours a week more.  Could she say she should be primary custodian because of this????  I cant see a judge changing joint physical custody because of two hours!!!

[MixedBag]

I retired after 20 years in the military (which of course cut my take home pay by 2/3's) and I do collect a pension immediately.

I'm both an NCP and a CP...

and now I'm self-employed with two jobs (rental home and craft business).

As an NCP, I took this opportunity to go back to court to ask for custody or more time with my son.  Got neither.  My EX sought to increase child support and wanted the courts to impute my income back to the level it would be while I was active duty.  The judge did not do this.  He took ONLY my retirement income and then reduced it back to where it was because I pay for all transportation costs.  (When we split, my EX AGREED to only $50/month and I pay transportation.  It remains the same.)

As a CP, I receive child support for the child(ren) of my first marriage.  Since my income went down dramatically, I could have tried to go back to court and "get more money" from him.  But I chose not to.  Why?  Because I didn't think it would be fair to him -- even if it's child support for the sake of the kids.  

Then the oldest emancipated and HE insisted on doing the math.  Well, we figured out that he's underpaying for one child (which meant he was really underpaying for two kids), and after DHR convinced him to leave well enough alone, he finally did.

IF you have 50/50 right now, and IF you are looking at "loosing" or changing your jobs, regardless if the relationship is good or bad with your EX, I'd say figure it out yourself.  Otherwise, to me it falls closely into the category of when people complain that child support is really spousal support.

You've got time and you'll bounce back......and yep, it might hurt at home for a while on your side when you have to say "Nope, can't do that this week."  I had to say that until I was sure our family budget could handle my "retirement" and stuff....  Let the kids know what's up and what's a bit on your mind -- not all of it but some -- and pull together as a family to get through this.

JMHO

[joni]

you have a sweet deal, a deal that anyone on this board would give their eye teeth to have.  I don't think your ex is going to file anything because if you're retired, she can do the math and figure she would have to pay you.  why would she do that?

in my honest opinion, if you go to court over this, you're just going to open a can of worms.  and given how gender biased the family court system is against men, you run a huge risk of losing alot.   think long and hard about this.  

I don't think it's worth it.  shut up and enjoy your kids.