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can child support be denied

Started by LESLIEONE1, Oct 04, 2004, 05:38:43 AM

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long story, i am mother kids 13 and 16 wanted to live with dad, judge granted physical custody to dad, still have 50/50 custody but I have visitation. Ex makes 75% more a month then I do. I am required to pay support to him, which I work 2 jobs now and will be unable to pay support to father. Can you go to court to fight having to pay support? I will have to sell my home just to justify not receiving child support from father..pervious we had 50/50 week with dad, week with mom. Dad paid support to mother based on his income being much higher.  Is there any justice to wanting to be a good mom?

Kitty C.

Sorry, but if your ex has primary custody, you still have a financial responsibility to your children, regardless of the income of your ex or the amount of the CS you are required to pay.  There are NCP's who are paying thru the nose in CS for exes who have 'married up' and not working because their new spouse makes more than enough for all of them.  Is it fair?  No, but it doesn't change the fact that BOTH parents are financially responsible to their children, in some way, shape, or form.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


If the shoe was on the other foot and you had physical custody, made 75% more than your ex and he was required to pay you child support but he would be put in a financial bind to pay it I bet you'd be fighting mad if he fought having to pay it.  After all...that would be YOUR money. Ya can't have it both ways honey.


First of all, I dont have it both ways HONEY as you put it. I wanted my kids, i have gone into debt for my kids. I fought for my kids with everything I have, so its not all about the money. Do you go on welfare to pay child support? I am having to sell my home, I already work a full time and a part time job...ex makes75% more money then I do. If I had the kids and made 75% more moneythen my ex  I would not want a dime from him because I would be financially capable of paying for my children without any help from him. I am not cold hearted and I am not about the money, he took my kids away from me emotionally and physically he got what he wanted, I am left with nothing and now I have to work another job to pay him for what????  So both ways honey, you are terribly wrong.

Kitty C.

So why did you post the question in the first place?  Just to be a $hit disturber?  YOU are terribly wrong if you think that, just because of your current situation, you are NOT financially responsible to your children.

And I can't tell you how many times I've heard that tired refrain.....'If I had the kids and made 75% more money then my ex I would not want a dime from him because I would be financially capable of paying for my children without any help from him.'...........only to have that parent turn around and squeeze every penny in support from the ex-spouse that they legally can.  The view is COMPLETELY different, depending on whether you're on the giving end....or the receiving end.

There are TOO MANY NCP's out there who are working 2, 3, and 4 jobs just to make ends meet, which leaves them NO time to see their children.  Their licenses are confiscated, their homes taken away from them, they're forced to file bankruptcy, all for outrageous CS awards.  So let me ask you this:  how would you feel if your ex had married a career woman and he was able to stay at home with the kids?  His income would be ZERO and you can't use hers.  Is that fair?  No, it's STILL his responsibility, as much as yours, to financially support the kids...but it happens every day.

If you don't like the system, talk to your congressman.  Till you get changes on the legislative level, suck it up and PAY, just like everyone else does.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


You obviously dont know me or my situation. I can only speak for myself and what I would do, all I care about is my children, im not after blood from him nor would i expect the same in return.  Too many cases are just numbers and the real issues the children are lost in the "court system laws" I want to see my kids, I do without to see my kids. I am one of few so you can spout out all you want, telling me to suck it up and PAY...you dont know me you dont know my situation you are just too concerned with issues of dead beat parents, That I am not!!

Kitty C.

Then maybe you can answer me this question, cuz I  haven't been able to find one yet:  why is it that only MOTHERS have a problem with paying support?  They're there with their hands out, ready and willing to take any and all that the courts will grant them, but when the tables are turned, they're affronted that they are expected to pay.

Yes, every situation IS different, because we're talking about HUMAN NATURE here.....nothing is ever black and white.  But the bottom line, whether it's $1 or $1000 a month, an NCP is just as financially responsible to their children as the CP.  Given that your ex makes 75% more than you, your CS should be considerably lower, but there's NO way that you should be off the hook completely.  That's an insult to every other faithfully paying NCP...........
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......



Go to your state's on-line calculator and plug in the numbers.

Does your state take into consideration 50/50 placement in terms of TIME?????

Some states do, some don't.....do some research on-line since you don't mention the state.

I know that the CA calculator takes all that into consideration.

Play around with a few different states to see how they work their CS.

NV uses only the NCP's income.....doesn't CARE what the CP makes.

WV uses both parent's income....

Then the state has a threshold for using the "sole" worksheet vs. the "joint" worksheet -- based on TIME with the kids.


I just crunched some numbers as examples to see the differences in a few states, you need to crunch your own.


Anyone designated the ncp has to pay child support.  Given that the kids are with you half the time, likely it is a 51/49% split which gives  him physical custody...perhaps you can ask him if he would not make you pay, or at least lower the amount via the court?  If you do make an agreement, it MUST go through the court.  This is just a cya thing for the future.  

If you aren't able to get him to do this, I am sorry to say, you will be like 99% of the ncp's on this board who have to struggle to pay c.s. that is unfair.  Sorry this is happening to you, but on the upside, the 16 year old turns 18 in a couple of years, which should decrease the burden some....