Do I have options/

[Badreya_Almariri]

Hi all this is my first real post but I am having some difficulties making the post. The problem is that I am an abused wife and it is very hard but I am willing to share it with you an hope you can suggest a way out..
My husband was extremely abusive through our marriage. He beat me up all the time. I have had a broken nose, a cracked skull, bruises and many other injuries. I have had to have medical treatment many times and have been in hospital after his assaults. His family always blamed me for his violence. His excuse for beating me was that he believed I was fooling around on him. He said I was always looking at other men. This is simply untrue as I am a Muslim and it is forbidden. But it was him that was fooling around. He always brought diseases home and we had to always be taking pills and getting shots to get rid of them. But he would blame me for that too saying that I gave him the diseases. Every time this happened he would beat me with a piece of wood because according to him it is a right given to him by Allah through the Qu'araan.
But there is nowhere for me to go when he beats me. Once I tried to see someone at the mosque but I was told that my husband has that right and that I must never ever call 911 because then the authorities would investigate my husband again for having undesirable connections in the Middle East (Tareq, my husband transfers donations made to the mosque to the UAE through his business which he registered to me. Also they say that we as Muslims must not appear to have the same domestic violence problems as the kafir and so our problems must be settled within our communities and always according to Sharia Law.. But my husband continued to threaten me with a gun, he has a trunk full of new AK's and often said he would use one on me if I try to run away.  He put in some kind of a gadget on the telephone so he said he would know if I ever called the authorities.I am truly scared of him.  He now says we must soon return to the Middle East so that he can do his duty for Allah by helping out with Jihad but will not give me details. What can I do?I do not want to go back there again I would rather stay in Norcross (Atlanta).
The other problem is that I am worried he will either take the children with him when and if he leaves but in either scenario there will be no child support and most certainly no money for me.

 Please help with advice if you can because I am running out of options.

Badreya Al-Mariri

Norcross GA

[KAT]

What area of Norcross are you in? Do you drive?

Kindest regards;

Kimberly

[joni]

If, all of this is true, why not take your children and go to the local FBI office or Department of Homeland Security and asked to be put in protective custody and report all of this?

[Badreya_Almariri]

Thanks for asking Kat

I am at XXXXXXXXXXX which is just offXXXXXXXX. I am not too far from Freeman Lake if you know the area. i am in the phone book but it is XXXXXXX and it is alo our business number. I am there during the day while Tarek is on the road, than goodness, or he would be hitting me for something or other. Call me if you like but if Tarek answers hang up because he is always monitoring my activities.

As for driving my father is from Saudi and believes that women should not be allowed to drive. My husband holds the same view- he thinks driving around for a woman is haraam and I might commit Zina.

[Badreya_Almariri]

Joni I wish it was that simple.  As a muslim I simply cannot do that becaue of my religion. You see if you left your huband for some reason you can simply go out date and hopefully find a better replacement. I cannot date or even be alone in an elevator with a man to whom I am not related. I have no other relatives  to go to in this country.  That is one reason why it is so difficult for me.  As for turning him in that is the wost thing I can do. You do know what will happen to him under the current anti muslim sentiment since 9/11.  Then I would be alone for sure. Probably my husband would be sent away to that place near Cuba and he would be kept there. The way he has been using me I really would not mind but think what the local Muslim community would do to ME. I would be branded a traitor and anything they would do to Tareq would be mild compared to what my people would do to me. That is the dilema. Are there any other options.








Thanks for answering

[dontunderstand]

My prayers are with you...I am sorry that I have no advise, I don't know much about the Muslim religion, however I am sure that Allah would NOT agree with abuse of any other person, let alone the one that you "love" but please think about this... you are teaching your children that what you are going through is okay and they will see it as okay for them to either 1) deal with it as you are and be abused and live in constant fear or 2) become abusers themselves.  It is quite a dilema, I hope that I didn't offend you!  Best wishes!...

[KAT]

Badreya;
What can I do for you? I am so worried about your safety that I could barely sleep last night. You do realize the only way to stop the abuse is to leave this man. Husband or not he can kill you, religion or not, your children NEED their mother. There are shelters & programs specifically for Muslim women BY Muslim women. I believe I found one in Atlanta. I'm sure that they will help address your special concerns.
Are you dumping your internet cache' so that your postings can not be traced by your husband?
I'm worried!
Kind regards;
Kimberly

[Badreya_Almariri]

Thanks dontunderstand. While it is true that Islam does not encourege wife abuse it does go on more than you think but unlike here it is kept in the dark. Many times after being beaten with a piece of would to the extent that a bone was broken (I think) he would not allow for a hospital visit except in one case about a month ago it was so bad that he called in a Muslim doctor who put a splint on my arm and he left without a word.
He did it again this afternoon but fortunately all there was was a bit of blood from my nose , a very painful back and some bruises. As I rarely go out and no visitors are allowed no one will know. I am getting scared. I know my community wll not help in a "private domestic matter between a man and his wife".

[dontunderstand]

Please, please do not allow this to go on!  One day there will be no stopping point and he may very well kill you and then what happens to your children?  They live with him and grow to be like him.  I know that this is VERY scary as it would be for anyone, but please push your fear of the "community" turning against you, and step out on faith.  There are ALOT of people out there, and I am sure in your city that are willing to help YOU.  You will have to be willing to be an outcast, but I promise that the reward will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.  I know that we come from very different religions with different beliefs, but just as you said, "Islam does not encourage abuse" and that it is kept in the dark.  What that tells me is that your religion does not condone abuse anymore than mine.  I will also guess that murder is also not okay as it is not okay in mine.  That is where this is going.  I also know that no matter who your higher power is, he/she would not be angry with you for stepping out and saving your own life, and for that matter, the lives of your children.  I am not judging you.  It does hurt my heart to know that if the wind blows today, you maybe in a coma becasue your husband doesn't like the breeze.  I know what it is like to lose a parent at an early age...it is something that you can never shake.  The pain never goes away...I want you to be around to see your grandchildren be born...

[reagantrooper]

I think this "lady" is yanking some chains. Give me a Fing break I mean posting one name, adress, phone etc.