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WHY doesn't the CP have to show proof that the child support is being spend on the child?!?!

Started by caringstepmom, Nov 08, 2005, 09:32:45 AM

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DH ex lived with her mother paying nothing (which she could have) for years.  He was paying a lot of money for the ex and she didn't buy anything for the kids.  They came for the summer with clothes that were too big, clothes that were too small and we had to always buy new ones which we did send home with them after the summer.  I understand where those that say the cs isn't spent on them but there are cp's that don't spend money on the kids.  The kids never got to go out to eat, never any after school activities the one didn't even have his own bed, he always (for years) slept on the couch so dear ole mom could drink and do drugs.  I really do understand both sides, our side of the story is wrong.  I think there are many wondeful cp's that really take care of their kids, I've seen it.  There are many that don't.  It's just a free ride.  


That's why showing proof of what the child support is spent on will never work.  Those of us who spend the CS on the children will have no problem showing proof.

Those like your DH's ex will just lie and show false information to prove that they spend the CS on the kids even though they don't!!!

My ex does drugs so I know exactly what you are dealing with.  My ex pays NOTHING for his children, but goes out all the time partying!!!!
He's a loser!
Good luck to you and your DH (and especially your DH's children)!!!


It works as a debit card too, you can take cash out.

I know it would put a lot of ncps at ease to use this tool.

OR if the CP actually had to SHOW receipts, utilites bills etc.

Again I am a CP and I think we should show our ex's what we are spending the cs on, when we were together we knew what our money was being spent on, why not now that we are not.

And yes, I buy at thrift stores, garage sales too, you have to when you don't get cs and when you have a dh that pays cs.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


I think rent shoudl be considered but ONLY the difference from a 1-2 bedroom, asl for utilites nah it shouldn't, food to a point, but NOT FOR JUNK and fast food.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


Ya but I know A LOT of cps who do not work and their sole income or only income is CS, now if the mom works and can afford a new go do it, I did and I deserved it.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


Not utilities...and food to "a point?" Can you elaborate please? Cuz quite frankly, if you think even just about the hot water usage, the computer usage, and the video game/tv usage, I'm sure you can contribute a LOT MORE than you realize to the kids.

My home is heated by propane. That means my hot water is run by propane and electricity. In the winter, it costs me $600 a MONTH to heat the house - including the showers, stove to cook meals, and heating. So if you believe the difference between a 1 and two bedroom home is okay to consider, why can't you consider the cost to HEAT the larger home? If a larger HOME is necessary, it takes more HEAT to heat it. And there is a huge difference in electricity and energy to run a hot water tank for one vs. two individuals also.

As for food...why "to a point?" I cook at home most nights. I can't remember the last time we went out to eat. However, I'm content with a salad for dinner. DS eats breakfast every morning (I don't), needs lunch money for school, then he comes home and has a snack (which means either two or three microwave burrito's or an entire frozen pizza), then before I'm even out of my car after work, he's asking what's for dinner...and he'll snack AFTER dinner also. So more food is contributed to HIM than it is for ME. There is also double the toothpaste and soap, double the laundry detergent, double the toilet paper, etc. As for "junk food" - EVERYONE is entitled to some chips or snacks now and again, so saying the cp should ONLY spend money on meat and healthy foods is really not fair. I'm sure the ncp indulges now and again on snacks...so why can't the child? Most children have been raised with dessert after dinner...and most times, that dessert IS something "junk" so why can't it be included (not saying a ton of junk, but I don't think a grocery bill should be picked apart an all the chips, dorito's, swiss cakes, etc. pulled out before determining a grocery bill). So groceries "to a point" doesn't make sense to me.

can you please elaborate?
Love me without fear-Need me without demanding-Trust me without question-Want me without restrictions-Accept me without change. Find my soul and I'm yours 4ever


I am a CP, and I believe ALL CP's should show proof of what and where with copies of receipts where the CS was spent.  

All parents that receive CS should do the following w/out a court order and if not done on a monthly basis, it should be court ordered.  
1.  Monthly letters sent to NCP with copies of school information, grades, picture order forms, etc.
2.  Copies of ALL medical, insurance bills/statements, paperwork given to CP
3.  Copies of receipts for any thing bought for the child
4.  Copies of daycare agreement
5.  Let the child(ren) call the other parent!
6.  Let the child(ren) visit the other parent!
#5 & #6 - CP's think of it as a vacation to yourself given by the NCP.

What is so wrong with sharing information?  


I agree that CS should be used to pay for a child's portion of utilities.

"A one bedroom apartment is alot cheaper than a two-bedroom apartment where I live."

This is true but I am not certain it should be a factor in what CS should be used for since the NCP also has to incur the added expense to rent a two bedroom apartment for his parenting time with their children.  I would think that the added rent expense should be a wash for both parents and not something that CS should be used for.  I think that it would be unfair to expect the NCP to pay 100% of his increased rent and subsidize the CP in paying their increased rent.  

I also don't think that CS should be used by a CP to help buy real property either.  Same goes for a car since the NCP has to provide a safe and reliable car as well.


When you show receipts for anything bought for the child, do you include rent, utilities, every tube of toothpaste or extra roll of toilet paper? Do you get receipts for things you buy at a garage sale or from the babysitter when you hire one in the evenings if you have something to do? Do you include mileage for running the child here and ther (the gas you used)? Do you EXPLAIN why you bought a $40 pair of tennis shoes when Payless had them buy one/get one half off? Do you include every cent given for the ice cream man, movies, school lunches, videos rented thru the week for the child?

THAT is what we're all talking about...WHAT should be included in that amount.

I don't share info with my ex. He's never seen his son nor expressed any desire to. I'm not sending him diddly :)
Love me without fear-Need me without demanding-Trust me without question-Want me without restrictions-Accept me without change. Find my soul and I'm yours 4ever