Time sensitive questions in NYS

[wiserina]

I am not sure if I found this site soon enough or not but I have to give it a try. My husband is once again back in court with his son's mother. They want to increase his child support by $80 every two weeks. I have no quams about that.
However, in addition to asking for an increase in child support my stepson's mother is also asking for my husband to be liable for all of their son's medical. This is something we just can not afford to do. Currently my husband, myself and our two children are receiving our medical insurance through the state. We also qualify and receive food stamps.
My husband tried to explain this to the judge. He was unsure what to do at the time, so he recessed for thirty days. They went back to court and the judge tells my husband that by his numbers our family should not qualify for state medical (well we do and we have a letter dated Dec 24, 2005 to prove it). The judge went on to say that my husband was going to be responsible for 73% of his sons medical expenses.
When my husband heard that, he informed the judge that he wanted to consult his lawyer. (we do not have a lawyer this time)
At first the judge was not going to stop the proceedings. However after my  husband stated that he had been informed that he had the right to stop the proceedings at any time.
The judge then looked at her lawyer and asked if he had any objections. Her lawyer had no problems to a recess, however he made sure to let it be known that if this matter continues to drag on, that they would come after my husband for her lawyer fees as well as everything else.
Heres the thing, we can not afford a lawyer. We are actually still trying to pay off the lawyer from the time we were in court before this. We can't afford to pay him off, let alone get another one for this.
What I need help with  is finding out if this judge can actually order my husband to pay his sons medical, when he can't even afford it for the other 4 members of his family. If the federal government (food stamps) and NYS (medical insurance) says we qualify for assistance, how can this judge make this ruling.
Seeing his son lives at his mothers house, we are unable to get him on our state medical insurance. His mother has no medical coverage for him. So even if the judge sticks with the 73%, thats still alot of money and we just do not have it.
Is there anything we can do to prevent this? I almost forgot to mention, he's back in court tomorrow. He has to leave here at 11am. We live in one county, my stepson in the neighboring county. They are originally from the same county as us and that is where all previous court orders are from.
Even though the case is being handled in county b, the order will still be from county a. So another question I have, is if ordered to pay more then we can honestly afford, can we bring it back to county a, where it should have been in the first place?
What are our choices, where do we stand? I am so worried right now, that I can not sleep. Its 3am. I need to be up in 3 hours to get my two kids off to school and I just can not sleep. I can not get my mind off of this case.
Please if you read this in time, your advice would greatly help!!

[4honor]

no message

[ocean]

Did he show the paper from the state to the judge? Even if you are on the state program, the out of pocket expenses have to be split somehow. If you r husband's share is 73% then that is what it is....She must be making less then him. Can BM enroll child is healthcare plus? If she does not have a lot of income, I would ask for  her to sign him up for the state program and you will pay 73% of out of pocket expenses.Good luck! Let us know how you make out!

[wiserina]

Well, my husband walked into court accepting his fate but  did request that there be a stipulation in the paperwork, that the childs mother had to persue some sort of health insurance. The judge acceted that.
You stated that if his share was 73% then that was what it was... she must be making less then him. Well yes and no. Because the courts do not even look at the spouses income, yes she does earn less. She does not work. She stays home with the kids, while her husband is an over the road trucker, earning an extremely comfortable living. They have a total of 4 kids, 10yr old (my stepson), 5yr old, 3yr old and 1yr old. They actually had 5 kids. The oldest girl passed away at only 2 months. She would have been 5yrs. The have a car, a dulley pickup truck, a 2002 pick up truck, a saburban and he just bought a brand new harley this past summer. They own their home and own an additional 10 acres of land in another county where she says they will be building a house. We currently are a single income house as well. I have been a stay at home mother for the last few years. My husband works his tale off to support us. We rent our house and had to get a loan to get our only vehicle, a minivan. I walk around wearing the same winter jacket for the last 7 yrs. I could not tell you the last time I owne a pair of winter boots. When I buy myself clothes, its usually from the 2nd hand store. My kids and my husband always come first. We dont make alot of money, but we manage with what we have. Paying child support has never been an issue. In fact, as weird as it may sound shortly after my stepson was born it was actually my husband who took her to court to prove to her that he was going to take care of their son. Back then he was going to school and only working part time and was ordered to pay a rediculiously low amount, but told the judge he wanted to pay 5 times that amount, and he did. He has always paid his child support. There have been times when changing jobs that it takes awhile for the paperwork to go through and he does become in arrears. However he as never once been more then 90 days in arrears and he has always cought up. We provide school clothes and supplies. Every time she calls us saying the child needs something we have always done everything possible to get what he needs for her. Regardless of the fact that his child support is supposed to cover this things. However with the child support raising (which is not an issue) AND having to pay 73% of a childs medical costs when that child has NO insurance, is just too much. Paying 73% of the ENTIRE cost of every medical issue, we will no longer be able to get him the things when she calls and asks. It will even effect my two children, because we will no longer be able to get them the things they need. We are already receiving medical for the 4 of us and we are currently receiving $285 in food stamps - both based on current paystubs. The child support just increased by more then $60 every other week, and we have the medical. Now you look at our house and you look at their house and you honestly tell me this is right.

I might add that the reason they ended back in court for child support this time was out of retaliation. After months and months of hearing my stepson tell us and hear from others that he told them as well that he wanted to live here with us, my husband got a lawyer. When the child first told his mother that he wanted to live with his father, she told him it was his choice but that she wanted to talk with him more. It was decided that since it was the middle of the school year that we would wait until school finished up. Well sometime between the child telling his mother and the child meeting with his lawyer he changed his mind after probably a year. All of a sudden, she was no longer spending all her time on the computer, atleast not when this child is around. They also gave him his own room because that was one thing he liked about our house. Ok, anyways, there has been sooo much that has happened during the past 9yrs that I could write a book. I know I have already written a book, but all this still is not enough to give you a understanding of our situation.

One last note, we are not just one of those families who mooch off the system. My husband is college educated. Although I have been a stay at home mom, my youngest is in kindergarten. I actually start school in a week. I hope to be able to go straight from school to work when I finish up with school.