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Question for Custodial Parents

Started by melissa3, Mar 27, 2006, 01:31:35 PM

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What can "We The People" do to rectify this???  What is it going to take for the family court system to get a major overhaul?

I've seen a lot of activists and "Rights" groups on the internet that are fighting for reform. With all the effort they put in, how come nothing has changed yet??

I guess my question is, what is it going to take to get the voices of the outraged heard?

leon clugston

more people pushing there legislatures and there representitives for a change, and demanding the abolition of th3e cooperatove agreements woulfd be a good start. One place the people could start is by writing mass letters to there newspapers, (letters to the editors) and or by trying to get a reporter to tell there story. I used to get lots of letters published here in Alaska untill I hit a nerve w/ a lot of agencies and now the paper wont print any of my letters, but I got my point out and started getting some people heading down the right path.

There is no easy way, and it takes time, but either people in a whole need to work together or there will be nothing done, and lets face it are kids undoubtedly in the way are society and are morals have crumbled will go through the same processes and decadences that we have. Either people will prevail or just wine and be sqeaky wheels, and that starts with simple persistence.


As a CP myself, I would have no problem with showing that the child support is indeed spent on the child.  My child's biggest problem, as stated by many others, is her father doesn't believe in paying CS nor does he ever pay for things on his own.  He is currently court ordered to pay $900/month child support.  The last time he paid anything was a month ago, $50.  The time before that, it was $25, paid a year ago. However, to address the ??, if he were paying the $900/month, I would have no problem showing documentation as well as receipts to show how the money is spent.  I believe that when considering monthly costs, NCP's need to understand that it isn't always the same amount every month.  If the CP knows that a big expense is coming up for the child in the near future, the CP could put some of the CS aside every month in anticipation of that expense(such s summer camps which are generally much higher than afterschool care throughout the school year).  


I have to say that I was a previous user of this site as a NCP. My daughter is now 15 and havs lived with me for the last 3 1/2 yrs. Now, I get a lousy 25 dollars a week in CS that can't be raised until she reaches age 16 another 4 months away. He works at a job that he make $25.00 per hour, has no other kids to support etc, I basically got screwed because I agreed to $250 a month for both of our girls. But, when the oldest turned 18 they reduced it by half. My expenses for moving the girls back to my home rose dramatically. Let's see how this breaks down...

$15.00 for school lunches
$10.00 for DD allowance.
 = $25.00

Doesn't go very far now does it. And to top it off the 19 yr old still lives at home while she is going to college.

Actual expenes
$25.00 food for DD (She is not limited to 25.00 a week in food that is just the share that is spent on her behalf)

50.68 a month for DD cell phone.  (Yes she has one, but she uses it to keep in touch with me and call her dad since it is long distance and shee gets 500 mins a month long distance. Funny, he's the one she talks to most and I pay for it.

9.95 for internet access for DD computer.

156.00 electric  (My bill used to be 80.00 before the girls came back home.

32.00 water (used to be around 16.00 monthly.

89.00 a month for car insurance for DD alone (She just recently got het learner's permit and guess what it costs extra to have insurance on her to be able to learn to drive Who knew...

And, this is only the drop in the bucket, so to say. It doesn't include clothes, shoes, activities, co pays to the doctors etc.

Yes the CS does have to be allocated towards the FAMILIES living expenses not just here  u go DD You get to have the entire CS check every month.

 MY point is, Is that when and if you have your kids living with you, you will see that your expenses go up all around. It doesn't matter if you have a large or small personal income. KIDS COST MONEY.

I am not saying that CP's/NCP's are should not have to pay what is fair amount for CS. I am saying that when you really break it down you would see that the expenses usually far out weigh what is actually recieved. And in alot cases the expenses are for the houseshold just not the child.

I could be a real B%$$^ to my kid and deny her thte little luxuries she gets all in tha name of CS. But, I don't. She has her comp and internet to do school work and email her family and friends, she has her cell, that I can call anytime and she answers it or she calls me and let's me know where she is, what she is doing and who she is with. (I work a 48 hr wk to support my kids so I can't always be there, but the phone is and it works) we now have insurance that also covers her while she is learning to drive and will continue even after, I can't take the risk of losing my car if she should get in an accident.

So you see it all adds up no matter who or where the kids live.


I think they should have to account for it's usage. As a NCP I have seen my 2 boyes with ratty clothes and poor hygiene at visits. However they always have the latest hand held video game systems and a collection of games for them.
Massachusetts offers a debit card with the support monies put on it for CP's and I believe that both parents should have access, say online to view activity and I believe that cash out of the money box ATM should not be an option since almost everything can be bought through debit card. I also believe that these statements of activity should be admissible in a court.
I pay 235 a week in "child support" the term is correct because I am supporting a "child" my ex. To purchase toys and materialistic items. Not clothes, food, and hygiene items for our children.

leon clugston

I would agree in youre synopsis of the situation, but the problem is the people as a mass haven't got together and pressured there legislatures to open there eyes to the problems created by the present system that thrives on the corrupt placement of children with adults, who do not bring forth the necessities of the children.The funny thing is I actually found a fedral reg that said the child support was to be assigned to a responsible adult, it didn't say which, or the noncustodial, it said the responsible adult, kinda makes one wonder, and yes it is all federal law, the cooperative agreements that every state has(to be able to receive title IV-d funds) makes it all federal law, the states are mere administrators of the federal law, funnuy thing to that most states are not even following the fedral guidelines or restictive guidelines, that they technicaly and legaly cannot go beyond due to the lack of regulations.
As long as the states are receiving encitive payments for the higher amounts w/ no responsibility towards the applications of the awards they will do nothing, because it has no effect upon them in there administrative world.