mother doesnt know when to stop

[olanna]

So you contact the school and request the report cards, info...you will get it.

And you can call the teacher and get updates. You don't have to wait on her to call you...BTDT.

[jilly]

He's repeatedly said that CPS is involved (not just with their son but with a daughter she has by someone else) and he said why in his initial post...because of medical neglect and suspected sexual abuse. It sounds to me like he has done everything he can to give the BM contact with their son. She does have unsupervised visits and their son got to spend Christmas with his Mom.  Although, why she'd be getting unsupervised visits with suspected sexual abuse is beyond me...that's the Court/CPS for you.  Also, we don't know EXACTLY what their CO says with regards to legal/physical custody. I think he stated earlier that he has SOLE Physical and legal custody.  If that's the case then, NO the BM can't get any information from the school or doctor and can't take their son to the doctor.

[foughtandwon]

>But whether you give it to her or not, she can get the school
>information and call the teachers..she doesn't need your
>permission to do that. (Ask me how I know...)
>
>She also doesn't need your permission to call the doctor and
>get medical info either...(ask me how I know that, too).
>
>I am not going to argue this with you but I am going to say
>one time...it is to your benefit and your son's benefit to
>cooperate.  Custody is never permanent, as anyone on this
>board can attest.
>
>Best to you.

the school principal said he was gonna talk to the schools attorney to make sure they are doing the right thing.
I have nothing to hide and he is doing well in school i talk to the teacher all the time and she only has good things to say and tells me she can tell exactly what i have been working on with him.
medical record well there is hardly anything there
so weather she gets them or not she has nothing to point fingers at.
i just dont want her to think she has found something and drag this back to court. that would be a strain on everybody emotionaly and in turn would effect both my children.

[jilly]

We get the report cards but we're not getting the day-to-day stuff, such as behavior reports, field trip information, school newsletter, etc.  All stuff we got last year.  We sent a FERPA letter to the school (with CO attached)  after meeting the teacher at Open House because she wasn't sending us anything even though DH gave her SASEs at the Open House and told her then that he would appreciate her sending him copies of anything and everything that goes to CP. When school pictures were taken I sent the teacher an e-mail asking she e-mail me and let me know when the pictures come in so me or DH could come by the school and pick them up.  She sent an e-mail back saying she would.  I stopped by the school one day to drop off more SASEs and asked about the school pictures.  They were up at the front desk with a post-it note saying that DH was going to pick them up. Teacher NEVER sent an e-mail saying the pictures had come in and we could pick them up. I just knew that it was about time for them to come in and inquired about them. Another time I was at the school to have lunch with SD. I left a written message for the teacher asking her to please include a copy of the school newsletter with the other copies she sends DH.  To this day he has YET to receive a copy of the school newsleter.  School events, by school,  used to be posted on the county school board website but they had problems with the database and it's been pulled.  The last school related mailing DH received was the class newsletter dated December 6th.

[foughtandwon]

 Although, why she'd be getting
>unsupervised visits with suspected sexual abuse is beyond
>me...that's the Court/CPS for you.


this has disturbed me from the begining. luckily there was no signs of this on my son, just the little girl (that doesnt make it any less upsetting though) but i have always though anybody that would do that too a 2year old girl is sick enough to do it to a 5 year old boy. anyway the courts/cps never dug any deeper into the issue and it was kind quitely pushed under the carpet. i guess they had no suspects and just wanted to focus on helping the mother become a better parent

the case worker was alos upse about the unsupervised visits, she saif the judge has made some weird calls before so i was lucky to get what i did.



 Also, we don't know
>EXACTLY what their CO says with regards to legal/physical
>custody. I think he stated earlier that he has SOLE Physical
>and legal custody.  If that's the case then, NO the BM can't
>get any information from the school or doctor and can't take
>their son to the doctor.

the CO says just that
sole custody for me "reasonable unsupervised parenting time for her"
above that it says
the court will refrain from entering an order reguarding parenting time.

and the part i hate
the court retains jurisdiction with respect to parenting time if the parents are unable to work out an agreement on thier own .......................................

the only reason i dont like that part is, i dont want to have to travel back and fourth to court again. i wounder if i can get that changed or if there is a time limit on it...

oh and she still refuses to give me the name and number of the doctor she took him to

[SLYarnell]

Unless there is a COURT ORDER stating that the mother CANNOT have access to those records there is NOTHING the father can do to keep her from them.  PLEASE try to verify your info before you give advise!!

[backwardsbike]

Well siad!  I couldn't agree with you more about the legal system and the winner take all attitude.  Uncooperativeness and lack of coparenting should be severely punished.  It hurts kids.  Instead I keep hearing:  It isn't illegal to be an SOB. and things like that.  It makes my blood boil!

I also agree with you about paretns raising thier kids and not the legal sysytem.  My elder tow are being raised inthe courts because the CP dad will never compromise or even discuss anything with me.  He just goes to court everytime I question anything he does.  He doesn't feel that I have a right to make or have input into any decisions regarding the kids.  SO he goes to court.  The the judge complains that we are always in court.  Why wouldn't the judge ever think that if he gave me more time with the kids maybe I'd have some control and we wouldn't be back in court all the time.  Most of the time the judge agrees with me .

[jilly]

This is what I said:

"Also, we don't know EXACTLY what their CO says with regards to legal/physical custody. I think he stated earlier that he has SOLE Physical and legal custody. If that's the case then, NO the BM can't get any information from the school or doctor and can't take their son to the doctor."

He still hasn't really answered that question. As I read back over the posts, he only states he has sole physical and Mother has unsupervised visits.  Maybe the matter of legal custody wasn't addressed or he doesn't understand that legal custody is different from having physical custody.  At any rate, I'm not wrong by stating that IF he has SOLE legal and SOLE physical custody then the Mother can't access the school/medical records and can't take their son to the doctor.

[Avaya]

Not to be snarky, but SO?  You can't let her motives and stupidity affect YOU doing the right thing.  Sending her a calendar and school papers doesn't mean you have to work with her.  It's just common courtesy, IMO.  If she wants to look like a mental patient, so be it, but if you can prove that you have behaved like a NORMAL parent/co-parent, then you're way ahead of the game and it doesn't matter one iota what she does.

[jilly]

Does your CO say anything about legal custody?

This is different from sole physical custody.  Legal custody gives the NCP rights to review and/or obtain copies of school records and medical records.  IF your CO only says "sole custody" then you need to go back to Court to clarify that "sole custody" means sole physical and sole legal custody.  Otherwise your ex is entitled to school/medical records and to take your son to the doctor.  Of course, that also gives YOU the right to know what doctor she took your son to.  If she continues in refusing to give you the name and number of the doctor call CPS and let them know.  Don't know if they can do anything or not.  You've said she's already not following the plan CPS has for reunification of her daughter so I doubt anything they do will make her give the doctor's name and number.  If you have an attorney you might want to see if you can file contempt charges against her as well.