Step One: School Records

[kcjean]

Yesterday, I sent my first official FERPA certified letters for my husband out to every elementary school in his daughter's district as well as the district superintendant.  I sent the court paternity results, the last court hearing papers and the guardian letter.  The letter was terrific and I was happy to find it on this site.
Now we can sit back and wait....and wait...and wait....
Oh well, he hasn't been allowed to see his daughter or talk to her in three years (she is only five) so waiting is not an issue.
Once everything is settled with his daughter who lives with us now, I already have the motion to amend on the one in Florida ready....all he has to do is sign and date it.  The best part is that the guardian in his current case with "Hope" is willing to represent for "Faith" too. and she is disgusted with Mom!
Have faith, I will let you all know how it goes!!
KC
PS....while the cashier @ the post office was ringing up my large bill for all of these letters and certifications, I cursed each one.  I spent enough there to pay for a week of horseback riding lessons for my stepdaughter, I hope she is happy.  I also checked and the Christmas package we sent to Faith, including gifts from her sister, Hope, is being returned, Mom refused to sign the certification on it because we put Faith's real last name and not the one she has been calling her by.  What a nice Mommy.

[SLYarnell]

that you keep that Christmas gift just as you receive it back from the post office.  Dont open it, just hang on to it.  If you send others and the same thing happens do the same with them.

That happened to us as well and it was a pretty damning sight to see that pile of presents in court!  The judge was NOT happy with our "host parents"  And SD when she finally got to open them and there were 4 years worth of gifts most now not even age appropriate, well lets just say she looked at dad with different eyes as well.

Sly

[c_alexander]

I have sent out the FERPA letter in regards to school records countless times to my daughters school and have even talked with the principals and teachers directly. They will admit that what I am asking for is the law, but then they want me to prove that  I am Jessie's father...which is next to impossible to do from 1,000 miles away. I simply tell them they can verify this information with my ex wife, or check the emergency contacts for Jessie, which I am listed on.
Well, they always seem to tell me that they will comply, then send me a big packet of information, most of it is garbage liek school newsletters and stuff, but they are not regular in regards to sending it. they won't send anything for motnhs and I call them to find out what is going on and amazingly they lost my address, or they have the wrong zipcode for me, or whatever. So I givethem my information again with a copy of the letter...only to hear the next time I have to call them to find out where my information is that they lost it or got it worng AGAIN.
I had hoped that this would change when my daughter began a new school this year, but even after talking at great length with her techer and sending the school a copy of the letter requesting all school records I still have not recieved anything. I found out that a few months ago there was a parent teacher conference and I never recieved notice of it, instead my ex wifes boyfriend went. He is not even a parent and has NO RIGHT to even be there. How can the school district allow this?
I guess bottom line is be prepared to send out a lot of letters and talk to a lot of teacher IF this school is anything like the 2 schools I have had to deal with. Their incompetence simply amazes me.

Chris

[ksmomof2girls]

Chris,

How about sending SASE to the school?  Do one for every week.  I was doing that for my daughter's last  year.  I have been unable to work this school year, but I had a couple left from last year, used those and now YD's teacher mails them to me at times.  I am only 9 miles from their school, one way, but its hard to go there every week.

Find the schools website address or ask for the teacher's email.  I am very fortunate this year that all of my OD's teachers have email, and so does my YD.  

Send them a copy of the divorce decree.  Both girls have it on file at the school, per request from the school.

Good luck on everythinng.

[c_alexander]

I sent these people everything but a DNA sample. I sent them a book of stamps and envelopes to send me regular reports on Jessie's performance. I talked tothe teachers, the principal, even the superintendant of the schools, but still they continue to screw it up. The amazing thing is that these schools are "suppose" to be some of the most progressive public schools in the nation. I have plans to make my presence WELL known once I move to Colorado. Until then I just keep sending letters.

[MixedBag]

keep going up the chain of command....to the state level if you have to.

I did, it worked.

Also, stick with ONE person -- your child's teacher -- and maybe the principal too.  Don't deal with a dozen people, because they do have plenty of kids to deal with....

[c_alexander]

I do not believe that the school is doing this to spite me, I generally believe that all involved are simply ignorant of the laws and their responsibilities. Generally I doubt that these letters or my requets ever get to the schools lawyers because if they did I am sure that this situation will change. As I said before I simply continue to send the letters via snail mail or fa until they get the hint that I am not playing. And when I move there, you had better believe that Chris Alexander is a name they won't likely soon forget! =D

[Troubledmom]

Have you tried a FERPA Complaint?

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ferpa-complaint.htm

TM

[c_alexander]

Whenever I send a letter then send me everything in my daughters file, and then copies of the schools newsletter and other useless information, but in 2 years I have only recieved 2 report cards out of 8. Never any letters in reference or about parent teacher conferences, or anything useful in gauging our daughters academic achievements.

[kcjean]

We are in it for the long haul, trust me.  We have been going through this for seven years with his other daughter so if we have learned everything it is about perserverance.  I don't blame the schools, in fact, I feel bad about the position they are in but it is their responsibility to follow the law too and it is in their best interests (and the child) to have both parents involved.
You would think with all of the parents that don't care, they would pay the extra attention to the ones that do but that goes for the non custodial parent too.  Why get rid of a good dad when there are so many dead beats?
KC