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Need a good attorney in the Dayton area

Started by woodstock, Dec 12, 2003, 08:51:58 PM

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My husband is a non-custodial parent to his 12 yo daughter.  He was geographically separated for more than two years from his ex and daughter due to the ex's refusal to move when the military reassigned him.  After that amount of time, he finally realized it was all over and they got a dissolution.  During the time they lived separate, his paychecks still went to their account (controlled by the ex).  She paid his car and car insurance payment and gave him $500 to live on (that's rent, food, and other stuff).  So, when it came time to divorce, he had nothing to afford an attorney and not enough leave time to keep traveling between the states for court hearings.

Suffice it to say, he got stroked.  He never realized how bad until he got reassigned to Ohio (4 hrs from his daughter) and we met.  We won't even get into the financial and pension issues.  But, he also didn't know that his decree said that ex had to meet him halfway and that he had a standard visitation order.  He only saw her up to that point when the ex allowed him to, which wasn't often.  

When he pushed her to adhere to the decree, she got really nasty with him.  I can't tell you how many visits were cancelled at the last minute by her...actually by her using his daughter (now 12) to tell him that she didn't want to come or wanted to stay and do whatever mom was doing.  This woman still emotionally abuses him by lashing out at him verbally and cussing him out and putting him down in front of his daughter.  Eventually, I got him to start demanding make up visits and skipped visits slowed way down when the ex had to meet us (a 2 hour drive for each of us one way) for several weekends in a row for make up visits.

This year has been the best so far in terms of the number of weekend visits he's had and holidays he's had.  However, over this summer again, the ex refused to approve vacation time with us ahead of time so we could make plans because she doesn't plan ahead and even when we've pushed her, she's deliberately sabotaged our plans.  As a result, we didn't get SD for the July 4th holiday that was ours because her mother wanted her and didn't tell us until the last minute.  Thanksgiving weekend, we asked to take SD out of school a day early so that she could go with us to visit her dad's family out of state.  The school had no problems with it, but the ex wouldn't make a decision until four days before we were set to leave and gave him hell about getting her for Thanksgiving (this was her thanksgiving, but it was our holiday in place of July 4th and we had to give up Christmas day too so we could take his daughter to see his relatives for the first time this year).  

Over the Thanksgiving holiday and before, SD12 has been a pain on visits.  She is very quietly passive aggressive.  She had gone four weekends in a row without saying a word to me on visits, not even a hello or goodbye.  And, except for the weekend where she wanted to bring a friend to go with us to Six Flags, she never voluntarily called her dad as he'd asked during the week.  Over the Thanksgiving weekend, we had a talk with her and my daughter about their behavior...we allowed both of them to express any issues or problems they have with either of us.  She refused to say anything.   We told her our issues with her and how we felt.  We believe her refusal to come this weekend is a result of her wanting to punish her dad and I for holding her accountable for her actions.  The ex has only heard her daughter's side and refuses to talk to my hubby about this.  There is just no communicating with the ex on visitation.  

We want to go back to court and get the visitation spelled out once and for all and to include an adjustment for when my husband is transferred elsewhere in the military.  Plus, we need to try to change some of the financial issues as well.  We need a really good attorney in the Dayton area who is familiar with military pay, pension and duty issues.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.


I heard Mark Stone is good.  We have never used him but got recommendations for him.  Think he is in Beavercreek.  Expensive.  Don't know how much he knows about military issues.  You might want to research the military stuff on your own.  Try //www.divorcenet.com and go to the military page and post questions.  Educate yourself as much as possible.  Know exactly what you want to accomplish before hiring any atty.  Other attys to consider:  Ann Shale, Kimberly Harshbarger.  Avoid Debra Schramm at all costs.

Suggestion:  wait until your hubby gets transferred and bring up the visitation issue at that time.  My hubby was stationed at WPAFB for 16 years, so we never dealt with that issue until his ex moved to TX.  We got it so she paid for plane tickets for the kids, because she moved by choice instead of necessity.  Hopefully you could get a break if you have to move due to military requirement.  I think you have a good deal now on having the ex meet you halfway.  If you tinker with that you might lose it.  You may have to do all of the transporting, but it really depends.  Which county holds the court order now?