Non-custodial Mom wants insurance card

[Tennessee Dad]

My ex- is "insisting" on a copy of my insurance card for our daughter. I have "primary" custody, and maintain insurance. When she had a copy of insurance coverage in the past, she would take daughter to the Dr. on her whim; the Dr. would diagnose a cold or allergies, or some such thing we were already aware of, and I would be sent the bill. Thus far, I have not given her a copy of the new insurance card this year.

Legally, can I refuse to provide her a copy of the card? Mom has the option to take daughter to the Dr. I have selected, but she doesn't want to take her there. She wants her own choice.

Any help would be appreciated!

[jilly]

What does your court order say?

[katz]

So is mom taking kids to an out of network dr or something? Is she refusing to even pay the co-pay?

Maybe I dont understand, but I really dont see why you wouldnt want mom to have a copy of the insurance cards. My dh is custodial and mom has both prescription, and insurance cards, as should be IMO.

[Tennessee Dad]

Mom takes daughter to Dr. of her choice (a nurse-practioner) and demands meds or anti-biotics, and they give them to her.  Also, about 3 years ago, this Dr. was NOT on our preferred provider list, and Mom insisted on taking her to them anyway, resulting in a $600 bill, which I might add I did not pay.  Mom has not paid a single dime for medical coverage, co-pays or meds.  Mom will go to the Dr. every time daughter sneezes, I pay the co-pay and the meds (which according to our Dr., she did not need anyway).  

Mom almost LIVES in the Dr.'s office herself; I don't want our daughter to grow up like that.  I told her last night, if I could trust her to do the right thing by our daughter, it wouldn't even be a question.  But based on what has happened in the past, I am very reluctant to give it to her.  

I am seriously considering giving it to her, with the stipulation that she is responsible for all co-pays and uncovered charges she incurs, unless she can prove they were medically necessary; then I will reimburse her half, according to the CO.  What do you think?

[Tennessee Dad]

Court order says I provide insurance; uncovered medical split 50-50, but she has not paid anything, ever.  

[NoNicky]

Unfortunately you can not make those stipulations because they are not already in the order.  What you can do is give her a copy of the card and pay only and I do mean only what the order says you must.  Show the doctor's office a copy of the order and have them go after her for the rest.  But whatever you do refuse to pay more than ordered.  When they start looking to her to pay some for it she may back off on taking the child so often.  

We had a similar situation here where they refused to use the insurance we provide.  We went to the doctor's ourselves and wrote letters.  We explained that this was the insurance and they were to use it and we would only be responsible for 1/2 of the bill after insurance paid.  The doctor's cooperated with us knowing that would assure them some money at least and then they started looking to the other party for the rest of the money.  Suddenly he doesn't go to the doctors literally every week like he was.  Seems now he only needs to go about once a month.  

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[Kitty C.]

There's nothing in your current CO that says you have to give it to her and she's got a proven track record of abusing the system anyway.  If she wants to push the issue, let HER take you to court for it.  If that does happen, make damn sure you've got copies of EVERYTHING to prove her non-compliance and abuse of the system.  And I'd be getting copies of your daughter's records from the mom's practitioner as well, just in case.

[Tennessee Dad]

Thanks, Kitty!  

Daughter's records have already been transferred from her Dr. to ours; that's what Mom is so mad about, I think.  But, in my opinion, her Dr. was glad to get rid of her; her Dr. sent the records after the first request.  According to our Dr.'s office that is very unusual, because most of the time they want the business back.  Not this time, I guess!  

[wendl]

You can tell mom, Dr so and so has all the medical insurance info on file for when daughter needs to be seen by this Dr.
The Dr's name is xx and her phone is xx and her address is xx.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[LizaLou1]

Maybe I missed something..... but the insurance is about the child, get over the money.  How are you going feel when the emergency room refuses to treat your child because of lack of insurance, i.e. no card?

The insurance card is only a symptom of your underlying problem, which seems to be control or maybe lack of control over your child. Address the problem not the sympton. Don't know your facts, but the parent with custody decides the doctor not who carries the insurance.   If you have joint custody, hopefully your court order states who gets to make the final medical decision.   If she causing medical confusion, take it back to court for clarification.

If your ex owes you money for medical, go after it all the way to court.  Otherwise it's not really important to the issue.  When your ex starts paying maybe they will think twice about incurring a frivolous medical debt.  As for perferred providers, unless it's in the court order your probably out of luck.  


I understand your frustration with insurance,  DH's ex successfully had his insurance cancelled because "she" was the custodial parent even though there was a court order directing DH to provide insurance.  What a hugh mess.  It took 6 months of fighting to get everything corrected.  But, it never ends with her.   She's always up to something.  Just waiting for the next salvo.  Best of Luck.

LizaLou