BM wanting money now.....

[dipper]

BM gave dh bills tonight for $322 - his 75%.  She wants the money right now as she is 'working part-time' to take care of their child........yeah...she has not worked more than a year total full-time in her life!  Plus, her mother got the dr. to sign and fax a letter to the court system that she could not pull jury duty because she would be taking care of her injured grandson.  And.....bm has been working and leaving ss home alone since his release.

Not only that - she gave dh bills for bandages that she bought and then would not send any with ss - making dh buy a box while he was here.  She also would not send one of ss' meds because it 'cost too much money' to be sent here......but, dh is supposed to pay for this stuff?

And....one bill was invoiced on May 13 - and paid for on May 20 - gauze and bandages.  SS wasnt wearing any gauze!!!  And she ordered 28 rolls of it!!!  And....the bandages - she had stopped using those as well when she picked this stuff up....this bill was for $168 for things he is not using................she probably has returned it or plans on doing so and making dh pay for it as well........

Thing is - dh should not have to pay these bills.  The neighbors should or bm should because ss shouldnt have been there to begin with!!!  

timing is awful  DH just placed his request for a custody hearing today, and then she gives him the bill - I know they will claim we just want ss to make her pay.  

Also, with her crying hard times, she is going to try to get out of the money she owes dh.  

Composing a letter to send, but dont want to put anything in that may not be right legally - or that could be a tip off for the custody trial.  But that last one is hard to avoid.

Any advice on what to do?  I mean, should we just ignore it until dh can see the personal injury lawyer's Friday  and possibly file a civil suit against the homeowner's.  

this money is not even included in the $1000 deductible.  I do think they would reimburse some for these bandages, etc....but, doubt if she filed it since she knows dh will ultimately be held accountable for it all.....

[wendl]

usually bandages etc are not considered in medical expenses nor should they.

Pay the dr directly AFTER you receive a copy of the bill


BUT if this was due to the accident at the friends house the other parents are liable for medical etc, contact the other parents where the kids were injured this will be covered under their homeowners insurance policy (hehehe was an insurance agent for 10yrs)

AND contact he dr's office explain to them that this is a claim that will be going against the other people insurance, save your receipts for prescriptions etc so you can get reimbursed, if the other parents refuse to give you information about their homeowners insurance threaten them with your atty, they will get the picture real quick.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[dipper]

Hi,

Well, the bad news is that the house where the accident occured is a rental.  We know this for a fact.  Am considering sending the registered agent for the developer a letter regarding insurance -though it is a limited liability company and I think this is doubtful.

However, the child that actually kicked the bowl of fire onto SS - his parents do own.  Not sure about insurance.  DH is going to send them a letter requesting.  Is there any possibility there insurance can really cover something that happened at another household???  How can I word this?

OH - and in talking with ss....he has not worn any bandages since the first weekend he came here.  So, his mother only used two of the 12 individual and 7 boxes she purchased.  I called the distributor for the big order and the guy knows her well - they work beside each other...he said they had not been returned.  I told him they have not been used either.  The return policy - as long as they havent been opened, they will take them back......

We have requested info from the hospital/dr about instructions on wound care.........he has not been to the dr since 5/12 - will go back this coming week....I just have a feeling he is supposed to be wearing bandages and is not.  Also, he now has blisters on the hand and on one of his donor sites.......

[wendl]

Dipper,
I was an insurance agent for 11yrs, I would call your insurance agt and talk to him about this to get a better understanding OR post to here again and say 4HONOR  can you help, I know the line of work she was and maybe still is in and she would be a great person to ask this question to.

PS it doesn't matter if that person RENTS as they hopefully have renters insurance, but ask 4honor about it.

also do not pay bm directly for DR bills, if there are bills get the copies and pay the DR directly unless otherwise stated in the court order.

I would NOT reimburse her for bandages that is normal 1st aid stuff EVERYONE should have at home, heck that is like my dh billing his ex for bandanges when his son was burned at his mothers house and she didn't provide any of that for our house, we had that stuff at home already. That is just plain silly.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Danae]

I agree with Wendl!

Do not pay for the bandages.

THose are her responsiblity.

Do not pay her directly for the Medical bills either.

Pay the Dr., Hospital, or Care provider directly and state that you will do that in the letter you are planning to send. Bills must come to you from the PROVIDER!!! Anything else is her word, and it sounds to me that her word may not necessaily be altogether trustworthy.

If there is an overpayment, or she has already paid that provider, THE PROVIDER can give her the refund. FYI always do the same with Daycare as well. Pay the Daycare, and have that stated in any custody agreement, VERY clearly stated in the Child support orders or anywhere else that you may find a refrence to the payment of bills to an outside party. Be it Daycare, a Dentist, or hospital. What ever it is. Otherwise, you will be neverendingly harasseed by BM to pay her this or that amount of $$. This way you are just dealing with the Professionals and not some psycho who decides band-aids cost 15.00$ at some super-uber-pharmacy.

This also gives you RECIEPTS from the provider that PROVES that your hubby is an active participant in the payment of those professionals. Those are nice to have believe me! Nothin like having a reciept to prove that you do indeed pay for this that or the other thing. If there is anything that I have learned, NEVER just trust the other party to do the right thing and tell the truth.

It has saved my hubby and I untold grief because we can PROVE what we do for my SD! Our Bio-mommy dearest does not get much wiggle room from us and we trust her about as far as I can throw an elephant. Maybe less even! That willingness to protect ourselves DOES keep her in line most of the time. Up untill she breaks up with boyfriend # 729 that is. Then she tries to pull something, and we just nail her with the parenting plan and move right along. Really it protects US more than her. She can't just do what ever she wants when ever she feels like it. We are no longer under her control in any way. It soulds like that is what your BM is doing. Don't let her do it. You don't have to put up with it. You can make some of the rules, and doing that will invariably protect you. Sooner or later, it will.

[dipper]

We are in VA.  My ss is 13 years old.  He was at a neighbor's home near bm's when the one of the teens put lighter fluid in a bowl and set it on fire.  (it was her home)  She kicked the bowl and according to ss it flipped and went out, and she relit it.  This process was then repeated by another boy that was there.  On his second kick, the bowl was kicked upward onto my ss.  He spent 13 days in a burn unit and had skin grafting done.

Now, bm rents an apt.  The girl's parents are renting a home.  The boy's parents own their house so they probably have insurance.  The girl's parents ignore our letters, so we dont know if they have renter's insurance or not.

BM is very chummy with these people now.  In fact, she doesnt understand why they should be responsible for anything as it was just three kids playing (in her opinion).  Of course, bm is only responsible by the court order for 25%.  

BM has already sent us a bill for $322 for just one doctor visit, medications, bandages and we dont even know what all of it is for.  The bandages are adaptic -they already have medication on them.  

At any rate.....the lawyer says it is possible that the boy who kicked the bowl - his parent's insurance could cover this.  How does that work?

And is there anyway other than asking the families to find out if they have renters insurance?

[4honor]

What you are looking for is the personal Liability insurance.

The policy has a person or persons NAMED on it (usually the parents) and any person related by blood or marriage, or the step child, ward or other person under the age of 18 ... all these people in the same house are considered the INSURED. A LOSS is a bad thing that happens (or "occurs") and creates a financial loss or injury to the insured or to someone else. The someone else must suffer their loss as a direct or proximate cause of the actions of an insured.

The insured has some form of insurance against their own losses/claims (i.e., they have a smoky fire and many things are ruined - the damage to the house and the contents are covered) as well as for their exposure to negligence and thus liability.

By reason of paying for a mortgage, homeowners are REQUIRED to maintain homeowner's insurance (in case of a disaster that ruins the house and thus the collateral). Homeowners' insurance has a liability policy attached to it as a secondary guard. (IF I sue a homeowner for something he is liable for, I could conceiveably take his home... and the mortgage holder is left without the collateral or a reason for the mortgagee to pay the debt... so they make the homeowner/mortgagee pay the insurance, sometimes as part of the mortgage.)

 I would bet you $100 the homeowner has insurance. Did you talk to a lawyer yet about the mounting bills?

The other child kicked the bowl INTO your child causing his injuries and scars. Causing you to incur medical expenses to treat his injuries. It is likely that in a CIVIL court of law, the other child would be found better than 50% negligent and thus the parents would incur the financial liability for all or part of the loss/claim, depending on your state law. (In WA we have comparative negligence (if you are 30% at fault you can only collect 70% of your damages - including pain and suffering) but in OR they have (oh darn, what's the word) negligence, where you must be 49% or less at fault to collect; I am not sure about your state. As an adjuster, I would put negligence at about 75% kicker, 15% renter parents (not supervising), 10% your son, and the other kids combined... they all took some fault by playing with fire -- and they were all old enough to know better.

What percent of burn did he have to his body?

Email me.

[msjanbo]

Do NOT pay BM anything direct - you are asking for trouble.  I agree with others, get bills directly from doctors/clinics, etc. and pay them directly to those orgs.  My hubby's ex would mail us bills that she copied and then altered to get more money from us.  We stopped paying her direct after finding out she had done this so much we were due a "credit" of $800!  Our atty suggested the same - no bill, no payment.  We also don't pay up front for services, nor do we pay estimates.  BILLS ONLY!  GL!

[dipper]

Well, she had already paid the one appt. ss had been to.  And of course she purchased the medications.....

She sent other bills, but we are going to refuse those as dh had to buy his own supplies and quite honestly - she is definitely trying to commit fraud.......buying things when she has not been using anything on ss anymore......

Just been puttin off replying to her as we are also trying to get someone involved to give us ins.  Information.

Dh's insurance sent a statement today - the original bill was $52,000....insurance paid all after adjustments but $4000 which is the yearly max. out of pocket....Still who has $4000?  Not us.....

Thank you for the advice!!

[msjanbo]

I suggest, and we do this, you request BM only pay HER SHARE of the bill and you'll remit your share direct to the doc/clinic, etc.  I also wait on the ins stmt to verify charges, payments (from her ins and ours), and then balance due.  According to our atty and every doc she's been to, this is not a problem.  Also, docs and stuff give you more time to pay and can arrange pymt schedules - something that BM's are not apt to do!  LOL>

DH is always getting calls from BM saying "send $ now!", just a way she can remain in contact and complain.  We told her, stop paying OUR SHARE, and then you can't complain about not having $$, blah, blah.  She doesn't work, her parents pay for everything (they are multi millionaires) - she hasn't a clue what "not having $" means.

GL on getting the $4k!  :)