Visitation Issues

[sp]

Hi All,
   First time poster here, looking for some advice.
Background:
I'm a divorced father of a 9 hear old, and I am NOT the custodial parent. The mother (CP) has 100% physical and legal custody, and we  do NOT get along, so much so that I recently had a TRO against her for harassing behavior. The TRO has been lifted for 6 months, but the ex plays games with me any chance she gets, and tends to use my daughter as a lever and a weapon against me.

I have the typical Class A visistation. Every other weekend and one night a week. Lately the ex has been playing games with my visitation, as in...not letting me see her on my weeknights and not letting me talk to her on the phone. I've been documenting these occurences, but I'm starting to wonder what good it does. Someone told me I should be filing police reports, but isn't that the same as just me documenting it? It's still just my interpetation of events.

My daughter is on school break right now for a month, and by decree I pay 1/2 of any child care needed. My ex did not put her in any type of program and is having her stay with friends and she takes time off of work. Which is fine, but now she is calling me and telling me that I have to take time off work to watch my daughter. I refused, since I can't take time on such short notice, and she has threatened to have me back in court on violation of the divorce decree, and she has threatened to take away my visistation.  I generally just ignore her, as she can be somewhat unstable, but her behavior is getting worse and I'm not sure as to how far I should let this go.

I don't want to go back to court, but I'm starting to run out of options. I can't keep letting this go, but I also don't know what good going back to court would do. What would a judge do other than tell us to do a better job of getting along?

Any advice from someone who has gone through something similar would really be appreciated.

[nosonew]

Document, document, document!!!  Keep that up.

Can you find a sitter for the child?  Then you can take the child, take her to daycare and still work.  Give bm half the bill afterwards.  If you pay half of her childcare, then bm must pay the other half, right?  

I would save up 10-15 mini-contempts and file those together. It shows a pattern of behavior to the courts.  And you can also discuss the other issues that are coming up as well, (like her demanding this and that)  I would suggest a very, very explicit parenting plan that discusses every aspect of every thing.  Look on the sparc archives and you will find a ton of info.  And keep checking back, lots of good advice, Im sure you will get more!  Good luck and don't ever give up!

[Brent]

>I don't want to go back to court, but I'm starting to run out
>of options. I can't keep letting this go, but I also don't
>know what good going back to court would do. What would a
>judge do other than tell us to do a better job of getting
>along?

One of the first things you'll hear is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is essential, and these pages will help get you going. Start off by using these letters routinely and consistently:

Notice Of Intent To Exercise Visitation
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/intent.htm

Denial Of Visitation Form Letter
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Then get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is free, but the OPTIMAL service is much better, especially if it looks like you'll be going to court (and I'd say that's likely where this will end up, because your ex sounds unreasonable, unstable, and unccoperative to the max).