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http://articles.health.msn.com/id/100096634

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Fatherhood: Challenges, rewards and surprising health effects

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By MayoClinic.com
More on this in Health & Fitness
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If you're a dad, you may wonder if fatherhood is good or bad for your physical and mental health.

In general, it's good. Compared with men who don't have children, fathers may be more likely to enjoy better health and a longer life.

But every father's experience is different. If you're happily married and gainfully employed, you may be more likely to reap the health benefits of fatherhood. "If you're divorced and lose custody of your children, you may be at special risk of developing serious physical and mental illnesses."

Here's what research says about the health effects of fatherhood. To help put the findings in perspective, four Mayo Clinic specialists discuss their experiences as fathers and as clinicians who often work with fathers.

Fatherhood and health: What the research shows

When you learn that you're going to become a father, you're likely to feel a mix of excitement, pride and anxiety. Your main worries may revolve around potential problems with pregnancy, delivery and the baby's health. But questions about your future as a family man could arise as well. How will you manage financially? How will children affect your marriage and sexual relationship? How competent will you be as a father? Such worries are normal, especially among first-time fathers. Discussing them with your partner or with male friends who have children may help ease your mind.

Being an expectant father

During your partner's pregnancy, you also may develop some physical signs and symptoms. Compared with men who aren't expecting children, you may be more likely to catch colds, become irritable, gain weight and have trouble sleeping. It's even possible that you could develop pregnancy-like signs and symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, fatigue and decreased sex drive. But this phenomenon, known as couvade, hasn't been well studied and appears to be uncommon.

Whether you develop any physical signs and symptoms, fatherhood itself may trigger some measurable physiological changes. Several studies suggest that expectant fathers experience hormonal changes that mimic those of their partners. These include decreased levels of the male hormone testosterone and the stress hormone cortisol, and an increased level of the female hormone estradiol.

Although the significance of these hormonal changes is unclear, it's possible that they're nature's way of priming you to become a nurturing father. Similar changes occur in males of other species who actively participate in raising their young.

Growing into the role

When your partner gives birth and becomes absorbed in caring for your newborn, you may feel excluded or even irrelevant. But over time, fatherhood inspires many men to make lifestyle changes that improve their physical health. The possibility of premature death becomes less abstract when you have children. You want to be around for them as long as possible, and you want to be a good role model. You have more reason than ever to give up smoking and drinking, to drive more carefully, to eat a healthier diet, and to get regular exercise. Regular medical checkups also may become part of your routine.

Fatherhood is like any important endeavor: You only get out of it what you put into it. If you're an active, involved father, you may gain a newfound sense of purpose that improves your mental health. Because fatherhood can boost confidence, optimism and self esteem, many fathers say there's nothing more fulfilling than seeing their children grow and thrive.

Finding balance: Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

Dr. Creagan is board certified in internal medicine, medical oncology, hospice medicine and palliative care, with special interests in fitness, mind-body connection, aging and burnout. He has three grown sons and has been divorced and remarried.

How has fatherhood affected your health?





I was a senior in medical school when my first child was born. It was hard to concentrate on my studies when I was feeling sleep deprived, irritable and zoned out. Because I was and still am an avid runner, regular exercise helped me cope.

For 15 years, I coached my sons' soccer teams, which had a good effect on my health and theirs. Now that they're grown, they say that the most valuable lesson they learned from sports was how to lose and handle adversity.

Continue to read Dr. Creagan's 4 tips for dad, plus advice from 3 more dads...

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Fatherhood: Challenges, rewards and surprising health effects

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More on this in Health & Fitness
The Making of the Modern Dad
Men: Optimize Your Fertility
Is Happiness Closer Than You Think?
 
(Story continued...)

For 15 years, I coached my sons' soccer teams, which had a good effect on my health and theirs. Now that they're grown, they say that the most valuable lesson they learned from sports was how to lose and handle adversity.

What advice do you have for dads?


Seek treatment for pre-existing conditions. If you have borderline diabetes, hypertension or depression, the stresses of fatherhood could tip you into a downward spiral.
Establish a work-life balance. You and your partner can't have it all, so you have to jointly decide what you want. If you both have careers, one of you may have to sacrifice some career aspirations for the other.
Negotiate holidays and vacations. In this era of blended and mixed families, it can be difficult deciding where to go during holidays and vacations and who to invite to a child's first communion or graduation. Making everyone feel acknowledged requires a very delicate juggling act.
Accept your children for who they are. To some extent, kids are hard-wired at birth. So don't be despondent if they fail to live up to the ambitions you have for them. Fatherhood is about unconditional love and acceptance.
Leading by example: Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.

Dr. Hoecker is board certified in pediatrics. He is married, with a daughter in college and a son in high school.

How has fatherhood affected your health?






I was nearly 40 when my first child was born. Because I very much wanted to become a father, it put me into a state of euphoria. Everything about fatherhood was exciting and has been ever since.

To keep up with my kids, I started exercising more. So I did something I hadn't done since childhood: I started riding a bike.

What advice do you have for dads?

Be a little bit selfish. For the sake of your children, you may have put your needs last. But you can't be an effective father if you have poor physical and mental health. Address your own needs first so that you're in a position to address your children's needs.
Stock up on good foods and books. You and your children are what you eat and read. If you eat a healthy, low-fat diet based on fruits, vegetables and whole grains, it's nourishing to the body. If you read good books together, it's nourishing to the mind.
Lead by example. Your children model your habits, good and bad. So if you eat well and stay active, drink minimally and responsibly, wear a seat belt, and don't smoke, your children will be healthier and safer, and so will you.
Showing character: Edward R. Laskowski, M.D

Dr. Laskowski is board certified in physical medicine and rehabilitation, specializing in sports medicine and fitness.

He is married and has two daughters in middle school.

How has fatherhood affected your health?





I was in my early 30's when my first daughter was born. Fatherhood prompted me to eat healthier foods, cut down on caffeine and find creative ways to incorporate physical activity.

When the girls were little, my wife and I carried them in framed backpacks on hiking trips and pulled them in trailers on biking trips. It was a great way to bond and instill a love of physical fitness. Today, we hike, bike, snow ski and do 5K runs together.

What advice do you have for dads?


Show character. Ninety percent of what kids learn is "caught" and only 10 percent is "taught." If you practice love, honesty, faith and morality in your everyday life — and show integrity as a dad — your example will work like a true and steady softball pitch, one your children will catch effortlessly and absorb completely. The life your children observe you living affects them more than any formal lesson ever could.
Establish a sports-life balance. If your kids are involved in so many sports that you're always a spectator or chauffeur, it can throw your family life and your fitness out of balance. Enjoy sports and other physical activity with your kids. To preserve family time, don't be afraid to limit the number of activities and sports your children are in.
Make your family a priority. If you're an active, involved dad, it deepens your relationships with your family, strengthens your family's identity and helps your children resist peer pressure. It's hard to do that if you and your children are always going your separate ways. I like the image of a family that is holding hands in a circle and facing inwards, towards each other, instead of holding hands in a circle facing outwards, away from each other.
Taking care of yourself: Donald E. Williams, Ph.D.

Dr. Williams is board certified in clinical psychology, specializing in behavioral and stress-related aspects of medical illness.

He is divorced, with five children (four sons, one daughter).

How has fatherhood affected your health?






I was in my mid-30s when my first son was born. During that pregnancy, I gained 15 pounds because I was eating more and exercising less. I had previously exercised regularly and had been active in softball and flag football.

Although fatherhood forced me to hang up my cleats, it has been a great source of pride and joy and is good for my health. It prompted me to start a more organized exercise program in which I alternate aerobic workouts with strength training. This gives me the stamina I need to keep up with five very active kids and maintain a busy professional life.

What advice do you have for dads?

Don't backslide. With the extra stresses and responsibilities of fatherhood, it's easy to fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms such as overeating, drinking too much and lazing around on the couch. It's critical — for your health as well as your children's — that you take the time to take care of yourself.
If you're going through a rough divorce, keep seeing your children and get help. Even if your divorce proceedings are amicable, it can be a stressful process for you and your children. Becoming embroiled in an expensive and bitter court battle to obtain custody of your children or enforce visitation rights piles on more stress — so much that it might exceed your ability to cope. You may feel anxious, depressed and isolated from family and friends. You may gain weight, have trouble sleeping, or develop early signs and symptoms of serious physical illness. A psychologist or another type of therapist can help you cope with your stress, anger and frustration and guide you in managing your health. He or she may also help you understand and manage the impact of the divorce on your children. If you feel socially isolated, consider joining a support group for divorced dads. Fatherhood is a profound life experience that can affect your physical and mental health in both positive and negative ways. Regardless of your marital status, you're most likely to gain health benefits from fatherhood if you're an active, involved dad.