Father suffering for sake of child

[Jeannette]

HI,  I am not the father or mother in this situation. I am married to the brother of the father and have various degrees in Psychology.  In this situation, the father and mother are actually divorced and have been since the child was 2.

She is now 10 and they have been living together since she was 4.5 years of age. During the separation, the child remained with the father and his parents for about 90% of the time, while he paid child support to the mother. The father has always been the primary caregiver of this child.

The parent relationtionship has not been great, however the father tries and tries with litter reinforcement from the mother. Things have gotten much worse lately as the mother hasa gotten verbally mean to both the child and the father. She is an alcoholic and often keeps the child home from school if she does not feel like going to work. The grandparents try to take the child to school, but the mother tells them she has a cold.

 In addition, the mom seems highly depressed. She also smokes in the house, car and around the child, who has asthma and can not be around smoke due to having attacks. When asked what mom says in response to the attacks, the child stated she was told to go to her room.

The father is attempting to work overtime and keep the house somewhat sanitary. The Child strives for  the mothers love and is very sad and angry. The father is miserable, but refuses to leave because mother has threatened that she will have his parental rights taken away and he will be unable to see the child.

Father has no criminal history and tries to make it up the child as best he can. However, he fears losing his child, so he bends to mother's will. I have tried explaining to the father and grandparents that I think there is enough valid reasons that he would have a good chance of getting custody if he went to court, but everyone is too scared to go against the mother.



Does this father have a chance in court?

[CustodyIQ]

Just a suggestion... that big long paragraph of text is really hard to muddle through.

I think you'll have better luck with good responses if you break it up into easy-to-digest paragraphs and whittle out some of the irrelevant stuff.

[smtotwo]

Please break into paragraphs.

That said,  I agree that this father has a good chance.  He and the child should be in counseling.

The counselor may be able to testify on his and the childs behalf.

Good Luck!!

[backwardsbike]

This father has the best chance at documenting all of themother's dysfunction. he is in the home with the mother and child!  I sincerely hope that he is getting some support for himself becasue to be living in the home with an active alcoholic is enough to make a sane person crazy!

He should be documenting every time his child is kept home from school.  if, fact, he should be making a visit to the school to speak with the school counselor.  he/she could be very helpful as far as seeing the child for some sessions and possibly recommending a family counselor to work with the dad and child.  The counsleor can also document the absences and anything else that may come up in counseling sessions with the child.

He needs to educate himself about custody law.  He also should do his best to retain a qualified attorney.

This seems like it could be a very stressful and unhealthy situation for the child.  Has anyone made a report to child services?  The asthma and the mother's smoking is a huge issue.

I sincerely hope that something soon happens to get the child out of the situation.  I know alcoholics who are still drinking can be scary people.  Butthe father and the grandparents need to educate themselves about exactly what htier rights are and what the mom can nad cannot do.  This child's physical and emotional health are in danger.

I am a nurse with over 25 years experience and also have worked in mental health facilities with chonic addicts/alcoholics.  In my very humble opinion, the father has every chance at getting custody of the child and should do so as soon as possible.