When do you tell a child the truth? DNA test comfirms he isn't the bio

[msme]

My son's ex was prego when he met her. She delivered a full term baby girl 6 months after they met. They were already engaged so he put his name on the birth certificate & gave her his name. They agreed not to tell her, unless it became necessary, like for medical reasons.

When they separated, 9 years later, he wrote her a letter stating all the facts surrounding her birth & declaring that she is & always will be his DD. it included a prayer that he would never have to show her the letter. He sealed it & put it away, not knowing what the pbfh would pull.

The children were in therapy because the pbfh was playing with their brains. One day his DD blurted out, to her therapist, that she knew that he wasn't her daddy. Her therapist told her that they had to discuss this with daddy.

She told him that the pbfh took her aside & told her that she had a big secret to tell her. She could never tell anyone, & made her promise not to ever tell. Her brothers were not really her brothers but she couldn't tell them, either. After that he gave her the letter.

She left this poor baby to founder with huge emotions & issues all by herself. It did a lot of damage. She became suicidal & is in constant therapy & on medication for nearly 5 years, now.

My advice would be to write your daughter a letter, much like the one my son wrote. Include that you suspect that someone knows & you pray that if they do, they never tell. You might also mention that her mother does not know that you know.

Include a prayer that you never have to show her the letter. Maybe your prayers will be answered. Whatever you do, try not to rock the cradle of a fathers love that is so important to a teenage girl.

Good luck & God bless
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